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My 15-year-old son came out as gay. He is my only child and I’d love to have grandchildren. Does conversion therapy really work? Is it just a phase?

There is a long history of attempts to change homosexuals into heterosexuals. However, there is no scientific evidence to support the efficacy of any type of conversion therapy. [1]Freud himself was asked by a mother if he could assist in changing the sexual orientation of her son. He was pessimistic:I gather from your letter that your son is a homosexual. ... it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation; it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function, produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. ... By asking me if I can help [your son], you mean, I suppose, if I can abolish homosexuality and make normal heterosexuality take its place. The answer is, in a general way we cannot promise to achieve it. In a certain number of cases we succeed in developing the blighted germs of heterosexual tendencies, which are present in every homosexual; in the majority of cases it is no more possible. It is a question of the quality and the age of the individual. The result of treatment cannot be predicted.[2]Subsequent attempts have been made. All of them have failed. Some rely on behavioral therapy, in which the patient was given drugs to make him nauseous and sick while being shown homosexual pornographic images. Shocking of the genitals was also tried. Other attempts have included chemical castration and lobotomies.“You will not like gay porn, you will not like gay porn!”Interestingly, a psychologist devised a penis measuring device which could detect arousal.[3] “Former” homosexuals were shown images of men and they were still aroused by the images. [4]Biological Roots of Male HomosexualityThe hypothalamuses of mammals (rats, gerbils, macaque monkeys and others) have been found to be sexually dimorphic, more specifically in the medial preoptic area. The difference in size has been directly correlated with hormone levels in utero and directly following birth. If testosterone is given to a female rat just prior to and following birth, the size of the medial preoptic area of her hypothalamus will fall within the range of that found in non-treated male rats. (R.A. Gorski, J. H. Gordon, J. E. Shryne, and A. M. Southam, 1978) When female adult rats were given testosterone, there was no change in the size of this area of their brains.This region is also different in humans, but the research involving hormone levels has not been done on humans (for obvious reasons). However, research, upon death, has delved into the sexually dimorphic regions of the brain. In 1980, Roger Gorski found that the interstitial nuclei of the anterior hypothalamus (INAH), numbers 2 and 3 (there are four of these nuclei, were sexually dimorphic. The size differential between males and females was most apparent in INAH 3. In males, this nucleus can be from two to three times larger than it is in females. This difference spans all age groups, meaning that the differentiation must occur at some time before birth.Then, in 1991, Simon LeVay set out to find if the sexual dimorphism in INAH2 and 3 could be correlated with sexual orientation. He hypothesized that the size of this region in the brain in homosexual males would be similar in size to that in heterosexual females, and that it would be larger in heterosexual males and lesbians. He dealt mainly with the INAH 3, as it is more significantly different between males and females. He found that male homosexuals had INAH 3's that were comparable in size to heterosexual females. He didn't study lesbians. With results stating that this region of the brain is different in homosexual and heterosexual men, and the knowledge that the size of this same region in rats is determined in utero and directly following birth, the evidence seems to support the theory that homosexuals are "born that way."This is not the only sexually dimorphic region of the human brain, however. The anterior commissure, which is typically larger in females, was found to be larger in gay males as well. (L.S. Allen and R. A. Gorski, 1992) It is likely, however, that this region is not involved with sexual regulation. It is a group of nerve fibers, not brain cells, which the INAH is.Significant studies relating heredity to homosexuality began with Richard Pillard and James Weinrich in the 1980's. By comparing the siblings of a sample of homosexual men to those of a comparable group of heterosexual men, Pillard and Weinrich found that of the heterosexual men, only 4 percent had homosexual brothers, and of the homosexual men, 22 percent of them had brothers that were also gay or bisexual.(R. Pillard and J. Weinrich, 1986) Heredity of homosexuality can also be found through twin studies. The numbers vary somewhat, but within the past 10 years, several different studies have been able to point to the incidence of homosexuality in males is approximately twice as high in monozygotic co-twins as in heterozygotic twins. (See Table I)The search for the genes that cause homosexuality commenced with the work of Dean Hamer in 1992. Hamer began by compiling a sample of gay men who had a significant number of gay men within their pedigrees. Upon the inspection of these pedigrees, Hamer and his colleagues noted that male homosexuality appeared to be inherited through the female line. An hypothetical instance of this inheritance pattern would be a gay man (who has a sister) has a gay nephew through her, and then this gay nephew would in turn have another gay nephew through his sister, and so on down through the family tree. From this part of the study, it seemed apparent that gay men were inheriting the genes fro homosexuality through their mothers, not their fathers. Going on the data received in this first part of the study, Hamer and his team then attempted to close in further on the genes causing homosexuality by performing a statistical study. With a sampling of 76 gay men, Hamer inquired of them of the incidence of homosexuality in their families. He found that there was an above average incidence of homosexuality in brothers (13.5 percent were gay), maternal uncles (7.3% were gay), and cousins who were the sons of maternal aunts (7.7%). Closing in still further in the search for the "gay gene(s)," Hamer then saturating his sample group with gay men who had gay brothers. Hamer's reasoning for choosing families such as these was that there would likely be a high incidence of the gene(s) that cause homosexuality within these families. He was right. Ten percent of the maternal uncles were gay, as well as thirteen percent of the cousins who were sons of maternal aunts. These two percentages were higher than those found in the statistical study. The explanation that Hamer decided was causing homosexuality is a simple one–male homosexuality was being passed through women on the X chromosome of the 26th pair. Since men only have one X in this pair (the other being Y), the theory states that men in the general populace have either the heterosexual gene(s) or the homosexual gene(s). The gay gene(s) appears to be much less common than that which determines heterosexuality in males. Sharpening the focus even further, Hamer and his team then used molecular genetics to help find how this trait was being passed from mother to son. By taking blood from gay brothers and their mothers, Hamer conducted a linkage study–he looked for linkage markers that had a higher instance than 50 percent of occurring in the familial groups that he tested. He found that in a region called Xq28, these mother/son groups had a statistically significant rate of coinheritance. So significant in fact, that even after replicating this study, the results that Hamer and his colleagues found could have occurred by chance only once every 100,000 times. Hamer's study does not prove that male homosexuality is caused by gene(s) found within the Xq28 region of the 26th chromosome. He found some families in which this gene seemed to have no effect on sexual orientation. His study does show that for many gay men who have gay brothers, there is a concordance between sharing a genetic marker with their mothers and brothers and being gay. In order to test his theories further, Hamer then looked at families in which there were two gay brothers and one heterosexual brother in order to compare the genes that these brothers were given. They found as they had predicted, that the heterosexual brothers had different markers at the Xq28 region than did the homosexual brothers.At this point in time, the research done by Hamer has not yet been replicated. It has been attempted in a laboratory in Canada. They failed to reproduce the Hamer's results. (Rice et al., 1995)With the technology that is currently available, there may soon be an answer to the question of "How?" when it comes to male homosexuality. The human genome project is making significant progress, and scientists have been able to pinpoint distinct differences between gay and straight men on the basis of more than just fashion sense and stereotypes. Studies with female macaque monkeys have shown that exposure in-utero to hormone baths (in this case, excessive testosterone) have led to the masculinization of female monkeys as adults. Yet, there are critics saying that sexuality in lower mammals shouldn't be placed on the same pedestal as human sexual orientation. Human sexual behaviors are much more complex than who mounts who. It doesn't all boil down to sex alone. There are studies that have more validity. LeVay, with his comparisons of brain physiology between heterosexual and homosexual males have shown that there are differences that begin at or before birth. Finally, Hamer's search for the cause of homosexuality on a more molecular level shows that there is a positive correlation between the region Xq28 and being gay. The gene hasn't yet been found, but his study found that many pairs of gay brothers shared a marker at this particular region of their genetic makeup. Also, in finding that homosexuality seemed to be a sex-linked trait, biology again seems to lend causation. Although the exact mechanism is at this point still shrouded in mystery, researchers are continuing to search for the true cause of homosexuality.[5]ConclusionMy friends who are gay that are married have adopted children. The commonality among them is support from their parents. Ironically, the best thing you can do to get grandchildren is support and love your son. Then maybe later he can do surrogacy or adopt with his husband. Plus your son is loved and won’t kill himself or move far away and never speak to you again when he goes off to school.Footnotes[1] The Public Health Problem, The Surgeon General's Call to Action to Promote Sexual Health and Responsible Sexual Behavior[2] http://Freud, Ernst L. (1992), Letters of Sigmund Freud, New York: Dover Publications, Inc, ISBN 978-0-486-27105-7[3] Sexual Orientation, Controversy, and Science - J. Michael Bailey, Paul L. Vasey, Lisa M. Diamond, S. Marc Breedlove, Eric Vilain, Marc Epprecht, 2016[4] Sexual Orientation, Controversy, and Science - J. Michael Bailey, Paul L. Vasey, Lisa M. Diamond, S. Marc Breedlove, Eric Vilain, Marc Epprecht, 2016[5] The Biological Roots That Can Influence Homosexuality

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