Joint Check Agreement: Fill & Download for Free

My partners don’t have any of my passwords and I don’t have any of theirs. Except for the media streaming accounts that we share, but even there, we have our own profiles. Nobody needs my passwords and cybersecurity experts all say not to share your passwords.I have a file with my accounts, logins, passwords, and people who need to be contacted in the event of an emergency that my partners could access should something happen to me and they need my banking information or they need to know who to call to hurry over and say their goodbyes. So they *could get* to my passwords, if they tried hard enough.But they don’t have my passwords.And when I break up with someone, I only have to restrict their access to that file, I don’t have to change all my passwords or, worse, try to remember what passwords they have and what accounts they could access.Just FYI, demanding unrestricted access to your accounts (whether it’s financial, social media, your phone, whatever) is listed under the criteria for domestic violence, under “cyber abuse”. It’s one thing to share access to things that you both need to access - like joint checking accounts or Netflix. It’s another thing entirely for your partner to expect full access to every part of your life. Privacy and independence are necessary, and neither of those is the same thing as “secrecy”.**Edit** I really wish people would learn to read, like Lahonda Landry and Missy Andrews who felt the need to share this answer with adjoining commentary about being “sneaky” and “hiding” stuff, even though I explicitly said that my partners COULD access my stuff if necessary, that privacy and secrecy were not the same things, and that demanding unrestricted access is LITERALLY A FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.So once more for the people having trouble…PRIVACY IS NOT THE SAME THING AS SECRECY. I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIDING ANYTHING. NOT SHARING PASSWORDS IS NOT ABOUT HIDING THINGS. DEMANDING FULL UNRESTRICTED ACCESS IS LITERALLY, ACTUALLY, SERIOUSLY ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR.But I guess abusers are going to justify their abuse when called out on it, so all I can do is hope their partners escape soon.P.S. It’s really fucking annoying when people like Warrior Warrior take one of my posts where I make a very important point about something and then share it with commentary indicating the opposite of what I just shared. It’s a dick move when they’re argumentative about it, but it’s *annoying* when it’s shared as if we’re mostly in agreement except they just said the exact thing I said was a serious problem, as if the way they said it makes it not a problem.No, it’s not somehow “different” when you do it.

What’s confusing about the word “polyamory” or “monogamy” is that they can either refer to an orientation (what an individual consistently over time feels on the inside) or to a relationship structure (the agreements that people make regarding how to organize their relationships). (Like, for example, how people who haven’t been dating long don’t tend to open joint checking accounts or buy houses together; they reasonably agree on a relationship structure that gives them more independence.)You may well feel on the inside that you are more comfortable dating several people (and with your partners dating several people) than with sexual exclusivity, but unless you’ve communicated that to your partners and they have agreed to it, any polyamory in your life exists only in your head. When someone agrees to a monogamously structured relationship then has sex with other people, that’s called “cheating,” and it is the antithesis of ethical nonmonogamy. There is nothing “polyamorous” about it at all, except maybe for a true internal need that the cheater didn’t communicate to his or her partner.How would you go about creating a polyamorously structured life for yourself now?Get tested for sexually transmitted infections. Share your results with each of your girlfriends.Tell each of your girlfriends that you would like to only be in sexually and romantically open relationships from now on. You can also talk about what that means to you (that loving other people doesn’t mean that you don’t love her), explain that you do love her very much, and describe how you envision spending your time so that your relationship with her will thrive. Listen to what she says in return. Probably she is going to tell you that she doesn’t want the same thing and will break up with you, so be prepared for that.Read resources on polyamory like the incredible Polyamory Resources and Guidelines - More Than Two (this page is especially wonderful: Polyamory and Monogamy - Bridging the Divide). Discuss them with any of your partners who want to explore open, consensual nonmonogamy with you. Move slowly, talk often, listen closely to the other person.Resolve to never again agree to sexual exclusivity if that doesn’t match your internal orientation. Only date people who are happy with non-exclusivity. Ideally, you will also do your best to act with integrity overall, because a polyamorous relationship structure seems to live or die based on whether its participants can be trusted. So you’re aiming for no lying or hiding important information or emotions. You also need to do your best to be dependable, so no partner thinks that you don’t respect her heart or her time.It’s a long list, isn’t it! Listen to Sean Bean,if there are pre-existing relationships and agreements that have to be re-negotiated. Cheating is much easier, but then you have to live with the knowledge that you’re not a trustworthy person.

That has basically been my family situation for most of my life - growing up and for most of my marriage. You don’t “split” the income, the income is the couple’s. I have no more claim on the money I make than my wife does. It gets deposited in a joint checking account that we can both access. For larger purchases (you decide what that means for you and your income), there is a mutual agreement that we will discuss those together prior to moving forward.