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In November 1190, Princess Isabella of Jerusalem, then 18 years old, was forcibly removed from the tent she was sharing with her husband Humphrey of Toron in the Christian camp besieging the city of Acre. Just days earlier, her elder sister, Queen Sibylla, had died, making Isabella the hereditary queen of the all-but-non-existent -- yet symbolically important-- Kingdom of Jerusalem. A short time after her abduction, she married Conrad Marquis de Montferrat, making him, through her, the de facto King of Jerusalem. This high-profile abduction and marriage scandalized the church chroniclers and is often cited to this day as evidence of the perfidy of Conrad de Montferrat and his accomplices. But, as I shall show, scandal (like beauty) is in the eyes of the beholder.The anonymous author of the Itinerarium Peregrinorum et Gesta Regis Ricardi (Itinerarium), for example, describes with blistering outrage how Conrad de Montferrat had long schemed to “steal” the throne of Jerusalem, and at last struck upon the idea of abducting Isabella—a crime he compares to the abduction of Helen of Sparta by Paris of Troy “only worse.” To achieve his plan, the Itinerarium claims, Conrad “surpassed the deceits of Sinon, the eloquence of Ulysses and the forked tongue of Mithridates.” Conrad, according to this English cleric writing after the fact, set about bribing, flattering and corrupting bishops and barons as never before in recorded history.Throughout, the chronicler says, Conrad was aided and abetted by three barons of the Kingdom of Jerusalem (Sidon, Haifa and Ibelin) who combined (according to our chronicler) “the treachery of Judas, the cruelty of Nero, and the wickedness of Herod, and everything the present age abhors and ancient times condemned.” The author, however, brings no evidence of a single act of treachery, cruelty, or wickedness — beyond this one alleged abduction, which — as we shall see — was not a case of rape but rather a rational choice by a mature woman.Indeed, even this chronicler himself admits that Isabella was not removed from Humphrey’s tent by Conrad, nor was she handed over to him. On the contrary, she was put into the care of clerical “sequesters,” with a mandate to assure her safety and prevent a further abduction, “while a clerical court debated the case for a divorce.”Furthermore, in the very next paragraph our anonymous slanderer of some of the most courageous and pious lords of Jerusalem, declares that although Isabella at first resisted the idea of divorcing her husband Humphrey, she was soon persuaded to consent to divorce because “a woman’s opinion changes very easily” and “a girl is easily taught to do what is morally wrong.” Anyone detect a slight bias against women here?While the Itinerarium admits that Isabella’s marriage to Humphrey was reviewed by a church court, it hides this fact under the abuse it heaps upon the clerics involved. Another contemporary chronicle, the Lyon continuation of William of Tyre, explains in far more neutral and objective language that the case hinged on the important principle of consent. By the 12th century, marriage could only be valid in canonical law if both parties (i.e. including Isabella) consented. The issue at hand was whether Isabella had consented to her marriage to Humphrey at the time it was contracted.The Lyon Continuation further notes that Isabella and Humphrey testified before the church tribunal separately. In her testimony, Isabella asserted she had not consented to her marriage to Humphrey, while Humphrey claimed she had. The Lyon Continuation also provides the colorful detail that another witness, who had been present at Isabella and Humphrey's wedding, at once called Humphrey a liar, and challenged him to prove he spoke the truth in combat. Humphrey, the chronicler says, refused to “take up the gage.” At this point, the chronicler states that Humphrey was “cowardly and effeminate.”Both accounts (the Itinerarium and the Lyon Continuation) agree that following the testimony and deliberations the Church council ruled that Isabella’s marriage to Humphrey was invalid. There was only one dissenting voice, that of the Archbishop of Canterbury.However, both chroniclers insist that this decision was reached because Conrad corrupted all the other clerics, particularly the Papal legate, the Archbishop of Pisa. The Lyon Continuation claims that the Archbishop of Pisa ruled the marriage invalid and allowed Isabella to marry Conrad only because Conrad promised commercial advantages for Pisa if he was allowed to marry Isabella and became king. The Itinerarium, on the other hand, claims Conrad “poured out enormous generosity to corrupt judicial integrity with the enchantment of gold.”There are a lot of problems with the clerical outrage over Isabella’s “abduction” — not to mention the dismissal of Isabella’s change of heart as the inherent moral frailty of females. There are also problems with the slander heaped on the barons and bishops, who dared to support Conrad de Montferrat's suit for Isabella.Let’s go back to the basic facts of the case as laid out by the chroniclers themselves but stripped of moral judgments and slander:Isabella was removed from Humphrey de Toron’s tent against her will.She was not, however, taken by Conrad or raped by him.Rather she was turned over to neutral third parties, sequestered and protected by them.Meanwhile, a church court was convened to rule on the validity of her marriage to Humphrey.The case hinged on the important theological principle of consent. (Note: In the 12th Century, both parties to a marriage had to consent. To consent, they had be of age. The legal age of consent for girls was 12.)Humphrey claimed that Isabella had consented to the marriage (which was technically irrelevant since an 11-year-old was not considered legally competent to consent), but when challenged by a witness to the wedding he “said nothing” and backed down.Isabella, meanwhile, had “changed her mind” and consented to the divorce.The court ruled that Isabella's marriage to Humphrey had not been valid.On Nov. 25, with either the French Bishop of Beauvais or the Papal Legate himself presiding, Isabella married Conrad.Since a clerical court had just ruled that no marriage was valid without the consent of the bride, we can be confident that she consented to this marriage — at the comparatively mature age of 18. In fact, as the Itinerarium so vituperously reports, “she was not ashamed to say…she went with the Marquis of her own accord.”To understand what really happened in the siege camp of Acre in November 1190, we need to look beyond what the church chronicles write about this fabricated “scandal.”The story really begins in 1180 when Isabella was just eight years old. Until this time, Isabella had lived in the care and custody of her mother, the Byzantine Princess and Dowager Queen of Jerusalem, Maria Commena. In 1180, King Baldwin IV (Isabella’s half-brother) arranged the betrothal of Isabella to Humphrey de Toron. Having promised this marriage without the consent of Isabella’s mother or step-father, the king ordered the physical removal of Isabella from her mother and step-father’s care and sent her to live with her future husband, his mother and his step-father. The latter was the infamous Reynald de Chatillon, notorious for having seduced the Princess of Antioch, tortured the Archbishop of Antioch, and sacked the Christian island of Cyprus. Isabella was effectively imprisoned in his border fortress at Kerak and Toron's mother, Stephanie de Milly, explicitly prohibited Isabella from even visiting her mother for three years.In December 1183, when Isabella was just eleven years old, Reynald and his wife held a marriage feast to celebrate the wedding of Isabella and Humphrey. They invited all the nobles of the kingdom to witness the feast. Unfortunately, before most of the wedding guests could arrive, Saladin's army surrounded the castle and laid siege to it. The wedding took place nevertheless, and a few weeks later the army of Jerusalem relieved the castle, chasing Saladin’s forces away.Note, at the time the wedding took place, Isabella was not only a prisoner of her in-laws, she was also only eleven years old. Isabella could not legally consent to her wedding, even if she wanted to. The marriage had been planned by the King, however, and carried out by one of the most powerful barons during a crisis. No one seems to have dared challenge it at the time.At the death of Baldwin V three years later, Isabella’s older sister, Queen Sibylla, was first in line to the throne but found herself opposed by almost the entire High Court of Jerusalem (that constitutionally was required to consent to each new monarch). The opposition sprang not from objections to Sibylla herself, but from the fact that the bishops and barons of the kingdom almost unanimously detested her husband, Guy de Lusignan.Unable to gain the consent of the High Court necessary to make her coronation legal, Sibylla nevertheless managed to convince a minority of the lords secular and ecclesiastical to crown her queen by promising to divorce Guy and choose a new husband. Once crowned and anointed, Sibylla promptly betrayed her supporters by declaring that her “new” husband was the same as her old husband: Guy de Lusignan. She then crowned him herself (at least according to some accounts).This struck many people at the time as duplicitous, to say the least, and the majority of the barons and bishops decided that since she had not had their consent in the first place, she and her husband were usurpers. They agreed to crown her younger sister Isabella (now 14 years old) instead. The assumption was that since they commanded far larger numbers of troops than did Sibylla’s supporters (many of whom now felt duped and were no longer loyal to her), they would be able to quickly depose of Sibylla and Guy.The plan, however, came to nothing because Isabella’s husband, Humphrey de Toron, had no stomach for a civil war (or a crown, it seems), and chose to sneak away in the dark of night to do homage to Sibylla and Guy. The baronial revolt collapsed. Almost everyone eventually did homage to Guy, and he promptly led them all to an avoidable defeat at the Battle of Hattin . With the field army annihilated, the complete occupation of the Kingdom by the forces of Saladin followed – with the important exception of Tyre.Tyre only avoided the fate of the rest of the kingdom because of the timely arrival of a certain Italian nobleman, Conrad de Montferrat, who rallied the defenders and defied Saladin.Montferrat came from a very good and very well connected family. He was first cousin to both the Holy Roman Emperor and King Louis VII of France. Furthermore, his elder brother had been Sibylla of Jerusalem’s first husband (before Guy), and his younger brother had been married to the daughter of the Byzantine Emperor Manuel I. He effectively defended Tyre twice against the vastly superior armies of Saladin, and by holding Tyre he enabled the Christians to retain a bridgehead by which troops, weapons, and supplies could be funneled back into the Holy Land for a new crusade to retake Jerusalem. While Conrad was preforming this heroic function, Guy de Lusignan was an (admittedly unwilling) “guest” of Saladin, a prisoner of war following his self-engineered defeat at Hattin.So at the time of the “scandalous” abduction, Guy was an anointed king, but one who derived his right to the throne from his now-deceased wife (Sibylla had died in early November 1190), and furthermore a king viewed by most of his subjects as a usurper—even before he’d lost the entire kingdom through his incompetence.It is fair to say that in November 1190 Guy was not popular among the surviving barons and bishops of the Kingdom of Jerusalem. The latter were eager to see the kingdom pass into the hands of someone they respected and trusted. The death of Sibylla provided the perfect opportunity to crown a new king because with her death the crown legally passed to her sister Isabella, and, according to the Constitution of the Kingdom, the husband of the queen ruled with her as her consort.The problem faced by the barons and bishops of Jerusalem in 1190, however, was that Isabella was still married to the same man who had betrayed them in 1186: Humphrey de Toron. He was clearly not interested in a crown, and it didn’t help matters that he’d been in a Saracen prison for two years. Perhaps more damning still, he was allegedly “more like a woman than a man: he had a gentle manner and a stammer.”(According to the Itinerarium.)Whatever the reason, we know that the barons and bishops of Jerusalem were not prepared to make the same mistake they had made four years earlier when they had done homage to a man they knew was incompetent (Guy de Lusignan). They absolutely refused to acknowledge Isabella’s right to the throne, unless she first set aside her unsuitable husband and took a man acceptable to them.We know this because the Lyon Continuation is based on a lost chronicle written by a certain Ernoul, who as an intimate of the Ibelin family and so of Isabella and her mother. Ernoul (as cited in the Lyon Continuation of William of Tyre) provides the following insight: Having admitted that Isabella “did not want to [divorce Humphrey], because she loved [him],” he explains that her mother the Dowager Queen Maria Comnena persuasively argued that so long as she (Isabella) was Humphrey’s wife “she could have neither honor nor her father’s kingdom.” Moreover, Queen Maria reminded her daughter that “when she had married she was still underage and for that reason, the validity of the marriage could be challenged.” At which point, the continuation of Tyre reports, “Isabella consented to her mother’s wishes.”In short, Isabella had a change of heart during the church trial not because “woman’s opinion changes very easily,” but because she was a realist—who wanted a crown. Far from being a victim, manipulated by others, or a fickle, immoral girl, she was an intelligent young woman with an understanding of politics.As for the church court, it was not “corrupted” by Conrad or anyone else. It was simply faced by the unalterable fact that Isabella had very publicly wed Humphrey before she reached the legal age of consent. In short, whether she had voiced consent or not, indeed whether she loved, adored and positively desired Humphrey or not, she was not legally capable of consenting.No violent abduction and no travesty of justice took place in Acre in 1190. Rather a mature young woman recognized that it was in her best interests -- and the best interests of her kingdom -- to divorce an unpopular and ineffective husband and marry a man respected by the peers of the realm. To do so, she allowed the marriage she had contracted as an eleven-year-old child to be recognized for what it was -- a mockery. Isabella's marriage in 1183 as a child prisoner of a notoriously brutal man — not her marriage in 1190 as an 18-year-old queen — was the real “scandal.”Sadly, such marriages were all too common in the Middle Ages when noble marriages were political and neither party — man or woman, boy or girl — had much to say about it.Isabella, Humphrey, her mother Maria and her step-father are major characters in my award-winning three-part biography of Balian d'Ibelin, “Balian d’Ibelin,” “Defender of Jerusalem,” and “Envoy of Jerusalem.”

I’m gonna talk about Canada specifically as that’s where I live. The age of consent was raised from 14 to 16 in 2008. Any one who is 16 can consent to sex with anyone who’s older then them (with two exceptions I will come around to later.)We do have close age exception laws however. A 14 year old can legally have sex with a 19 year old. A 20 year old could be brought up on Statutory rape charges as the law is within 5 years. A 15 year old can legally have sex with a 20 year old. A 21 year old could be brought up on statutory rape charges.A 12 year old can consent to sex with a 14 year old, but a 15 year old can be brought up on statutory rape charges. A 13 year old can have sex with a 15 year old but a 16 year old can be brought up on statutory rape charges.A 16 or 17 year old can not consent to sex with someone who holds a position of authority over them such as a teacher, coach, or manager. Or someone who they rely on for caregiving (parent, guardian)No one under the age of 18 can consent to pornography, and it can be written, audio or recording.No one under the age of 18 can engage in prostitution (the older person buying services will be the one in trouble for exploiting a minor)I happen to think these laws are quite reasonable.EDIT as of 06/16/20: on second thought a 19 year old having sex with a 14 year old is kinda creepy. I would say maybe a 3 year age in exception not 5

I will go even further . Not to alarm you, but while menstration (periods) in the first year after you start them can be erractic, after that they should be rather regular. The number one reason for missing periods is pregnancy. Yes, it has been longer than that, but you could have missed four months, then who knows. It would help to have more info. Are you sexually active? Do you use birth control? If so, what kind.You do have rights over your body and your health. You can go to any physician, and I recommend that you do. It would be confidential unless they needed to intervene in some way. However, if they felt it was expedient, they could ask one of your guardians, parents, to give consent. If they don’t, my sense is they would involve social services. If only to get permission. Of course, the best course would be for the provider to reach the parent and to have them come down. The mere fact that their daughter were that worried should go a long way.She could also ask a friend to talk to their parents confidentially. One things as adults, adults tend to know the options better than teenagers.YOU NEED HEALTHCARE. At the very least, walk right into an emergency room and tell them your story. They can’t turn you away. They know the laws. And, they should work to resolve it.Meanwhile get a pregnancy test from the drug store. If you have been sexually active with or without birth control over the past six to nine months.I wanted to add some information for you as I am very concerned about your health and well-being. The following is based on Maine state law and is directly edited by my attorney as I see this type of thing about four times per year. I will highlight important sections as not all of it will apply. Certainly, you are not talking about becoming emancipated, but attaining healthcare as a minor is a lot a like. Also, the word “incompetent” in the law is not calling you imcompetent, it is just a legal term for this statute.1) If a 16 year old were emancipated by court order would she be able to come to office appointments by herself without parental permission? Yes.2) If a 16 year old is not yet emancipated by court order, is she able to come to the appointment by herself without parental permission? Answer: No, unless: (i) she is a pregnant minor contemplating whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy, in which case she is authorized to receive information and counseling concerning public and private agencies available to provide birth control information and services, or (ii) she is a minor who may be treated as an adult on the basis that she has been living separately from her parents or legal guardian for at least 60 days and is independent of parental support.3) If the 16 year old is able to come to the appointment, is she authorized to start birth control without parental authorization? Answer: No, unless she is a minor who may be treated as an adult. In this case, only if: (i) she is emancipated by court order (which doesn’t appear to be the case), or (ii) she is a minor who may be treated as an adult on the basis that she has been living separately from her parents or legal guardian for at least 60 days and is independent of parental support.Keep in mind, that if you were to show up at my office, my staff would hopefully pick up on the fact that you were a minor. I would then note that I could not treat you without consent of a guardian (parent if that is the case). But, that does NOT mean I would say to you, “I can’t treat you. Bye.” I would then be faced with a medical situation that I would deem requires some type of intervention. Whether that means speaking with your parents or hopefully having them come to the office, I would like do that. My number one concern would be that you left and were lost to follow-up. At that point, I would feel completely responsible for your health and well-being. While a minor is considered unable to make prudent decisions for their healthcare, they are also by the same token, considered not to know when the lack of healthcare is not safe. One good thing about a solo physician is he or she will know the family. I would know your mom and how she would deal with this issue.BackgroundIn Maine, the person legally authorized to provide consent to treat a minor varies according to the minor’s legal status, the type of treatment or health care service being provided to the minor, and, in certain circumstances, the age of the minor. A minor is defined as any person less than 18 years of age.Generally, minors are presumed to be legally incompetent to provide informed consent for medical treatment or health care services. Accordingly, unless otherwise indicated, informed consent must be obtained from the minor’s parent or guardian.However, there are exceptions to the general consent rule for minors. Some minors have the same rights as adult patients to consent to medical treatment. Other minors have a limited right to consent to specific medical and mental health treatment services, depending on the type of care rendered, the circumstances in which care is provided, and, in some instances, upon the age of the minor. In all cases, the authority of the minor to consent is predicated upon the treating healthcare provider’s determination that the minor possesses decisional capacity to provide informed consent to treatment.1. Minors Who May Be Treated as Adults: The following minors are legally authorized to provide consent to all health care services:a. Minors who have been living separately from their parents or legal guardians for at least 60 days and are independent of parental support.b. Minors who are or have been legally married.c. Minors who are or who have been members of the U.S. Armed Forces.d. Minors who have been emancipated by court order.e. Minors who are residing in a correctional facility pursuant to a conviction as an adult.A treating healthcare provider should request appropriate documentation of the above circumstances (e.g. marriage license, Armed Service ID, emancipation order, etc.) prior to providing treatment to the minor.2. Minors Authorized to Provide Consent Under Certain Circumstances: A minor is authorized to consent to the following healthcare services:a. Treatment for Alcohol Abuseb. Treatment for Drug Abusec. Treatment for Emotional or Psychological Problemsd. Spiritual Treatmente. Organ Donationf. Sexual Assault Forensic Examinationg. Birth Control Information: A pregnant minor contemplating whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy is authorized to receive information and counseling concerning public and private agencies available to provide birth control information and services.h. Family Planning Services: The following minors are authorized to provide consent to receive family planning services:(i) Minors who are parents;(ii) Minors who are married;(iii) Minors who have the consent of their parent or legal guardian to receive family planning services; and(iv) Minors who, in the professional judgment of a physician, may suffer probable health hazards if family planning services are not provided.Family planning services include: ·Counseling with trained personnel regarding family planning, contraceptive procedures and the treatment of infertility;·Distribution of literature relating to family planning, contraceptive procedures and the treatment of infertility; and·Referral of patients to physicians or health agencies for consultation, examination, tests, medical treatment and prescription for the purposes of family planning, contraceptive procedures and treatment of infertility and provision of contraceptive procedures and supplies.i. Minors Who are Parents: A minor who is a parent is generally entitled to provide consent to health care services on behalf of his or her child in the absence of a guardianship, custody order, or other limitation on the minor’s parental rights, even though the minor may lack the authority to consent to the same healthcare services on behalf of his- or herself.A minor authorized to consent to a specific type of medical treatment or health care service is also authorized to refuse that same treatment or service.A minor who consents on his or her own behalf to healthcare services is responsible for the costs of such services, unless the minor’s parent or guardian has expressly agreed to assume full or partial responsibility.First, cost would not be an issue. As a minor, you would not likely be held responsible for cost, and hospitals would work with you anyway. For me, I would never turn away a patient for healthcare costs.Just like anything, things are not written in stone. If a minor shows up in an emergency room for an ear infection, they will not be treated without consent. But, if they show up with a major concussion, etc., they will receive a Cat Scan of the brain, because the physician will deem it emergent. He/She will try to get hold of your mother or father or other guardian, but they won’t wait longer than five to ten minutes.Keep in mind the following: The decision of whether or not you can give consent as a minor and be treated by a healthcare provider, is completely up to the provider. If I see an 11 yo walk in with a cold, I will not treat (although I would likely call social services to find out why an 11 yo is by himself. But, if I feel that by not treating you, your health is at risk, I can treat you, and if there is any legal recourse, it will be on me.The very fact that in your question you state 254 days and not a year reveals the level of concern you have. As a 16 yo, I am very proud of you for coming on Quora with this question. Ultimately, you are the one who has to advocate for yourself. I should say, knowing only half the story, that your mother THINKS she is doing the right thing. I would start with your FP or your pediatrician. You can always call them confidentially and see what they say. If you parents have any questions, let me know, and I will give you my phone number so I can help.Good luck. Please comment back if you need more info.