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I fell in love with a guy I met a few months before taking the CPA board exam.It’s been a while since I have been in a relationship. And when that guy suddenly sat next to me during our review class, I already felt that there was something there. And when he started walking me home, I felt like I was in a fantasy. I can hardly sleep afterwards because it felt like my reality is like a dream in itself. That feeling lasted for about a month and during that time frame, I have adjusted my priorities from being single to something that includes him in the picture. During that time, he also treated me like a princess and just totally adored me. He wanted us to become exclusive but I told him that I would prefer it if we would stay friends for a while since I need my full focus on the review. But I didn’t get much focus after that. I often get lonely since I am away from my family and I don’t go out much. Somehow my situation caused me to love him. But even though I felt that way, I still don’t want us to become exclusive.But after about a month, he started to change into someone that doesn’t really care much about me anymore. It was also at that time that I saw a picture of him with his ex whom he told me he had a hard time moving on from. I felt very crappy about it afterwards that it broke me into tears. I decided to ignore him after that but since I’m doing better in our review class, I guess he can’t help but talk to me.We finally became exclusive after taking the first set of the actual board exam. Unfortunately, it only lasted a week. I was still madly in love with him but he felt the total opposite. He started to treat me like crap and I didn’t liked it at all. I still tried to talk to him the day before the last set of the board exam still trying to fix things but he said that he can no longer feel the same feelings he felt before. In short, he was saying that he fell out of love.On the day I was taking the board, I felt like I am barely holding myself together because of the pain. I can hardly concentrate on the exam. I can sometimes feel like bursting into tears just to let out the swelling emotions inside me. But I held on.Fortunately for me, I was still able to pass the exam and so did he. I intend to move away from him after that but he started asking for my help with the registration requirements and all. I helped him unconditionally after that because I know for myself that I still have feelings for him. It turned out he was just taking advantage of it because after that he started hurting me again. He would give me scenarios like what if we get back together but never really do it after knowing that I’m still willing to get back with him. He would also make me jealous by saying he liked someone else already, right after giving him all the help I can give.At that time, I felt my self-esteem was at rock-bottom already. I felt like a total crap. Lucky for me my friends were there to offer me consolation when I was full of hate with the world for being so harsh to me.He was able to get into the Big 4 and I didn’t. After that I felt like he was looking down on me. He was so full of himself when he got accepted. I can just feel it in my bones. After he asked me for help with the requirements for the job application again, I stayed away from him-again. Yeah, I know I was an idiot for still helping him but I just can’t stand it either if I refuse to help someone especially when I know I can help.I was an achiever before I met him and so I haven’t felt so disgraced and that degraded in my life before. I wanted to change my life for the better after that. But he would still call me. I felt like he doesn’t want me to move on but at the same time doesn’t want to get back with me.After a while of emotional abuse from him, I finally changed my number not intending to talk to him anymore.I have always seen myself as this sweet, innocent, and kind-hearted girl who would love truly with all her heart but ever since that emotional abuse, I have realized that sometimes your innocence won’t help you at all times. Sometimes, you have to learn things the hard way to get stronger mentally and emotionally. And sometimes you have to learn the tricky stuff some people do to get what they want so you can protect yourself.I have also learned to be more cautious now with people especially those who would just take advantage of my innocence or kindness. And even though sometimes being honest with myself and standing for what is right seemed like the hardest thing to do just to please the people around me, I chose to hold on to my values now. The people around me may not like me as much anymore but I feel like I love myself more.Sure, I still feel lonely at times and still cry from the pain of the past and sweet memories but I choose to go through the pain. I may feel alone today but I know somewhere within this planet, there are people who share the same belief as I do. I strongly believe that. And someday I know I won’t feel as alone anymore because I know I will meet the right people for me and maybe the right guy too. :)

There are soo many…Credit card. I have a friend who earns Rs.20,000 and spends lavishly with credit card. He buys expensive stuff just because its on OFFER. By the end of month, he calls other friends for money to pay debt. That’s utter stupidity. When I ask him, he says he is living life.Think about it, why do credit card company exists? Its not because of people who use credit cards carefully, its because of those who spend more than they can afford and end up paying a huge interest.Buying apartment with home loan. As soon as someone starts making decent money like Rs.50,000+, they start thinking about buying apartment. They get blinded by marketing strategies like “don’t pay rent, pay EMI”, like EMI is same as rent. Home loan is a biggest liability and you will get trapped for the next 20 - 30 years while Artificial Intelligence eats your job.Till you pay the loan, it is NOT YOUR HOUSE. It is bank’s house. Agreement may have your name but it is legally owned by bank. You are the tenant who is renting bank’s home. Don’t agree? Stop paying interest for few months, you will understand.Appreciation. If you buy individual house its value may increase in future but we can't say the same about apartments. And stop saying that I bought an apartment for 30 lakhs, 10 years ago and today its worth is 1.5 crore. Unless someone is ready to give you 1.5 crore RIGHT NOW for your apartment, it won't worth much. Its all just some fancy numbers you keep saying to yourself.If you want to buy house, buy with your own money. My current salary is not enough to buy house, what should I do? Well, then make more money. Who is stopping you?Buying home will put you in endless spiral of expenses. Wood works, decorations, big size LED TV, surround system, sofa, dining table, cot, etc., Believe me there are people who buy car just because their apartment comes with parking spaces.Another reason i hear for getting home loan is to reduce tax. There are so many ways to reduce tax. Most of those options give you amazing returns like investing in ELSS (more than 10% return). But many choose home loan, here you are giving return to bank. Of course you can reduce tax, but there are lot of limitations and you are still going to spend a lot of money in interest. Other than taking risk on home loan why not take risk in investing in small cap funds which gives more than 20% returns? If you invest wisely you can buy home with your own money (may take some years of course) without breaking your back.Buying car. Unless you are a millionaire or if you travel A LOT, car is a worst financial mistake. In long term, you are going to lose a lot of money in car. And driving car in metro cities is worst nightmare and don’t get me started with parkingI have a family with 2 kids. Car is necessary. Well, my grandparents had 13 children, guess how many cars they had? ZERO. We are not living in 1800’s. Its 2017, there are so many transport options like cycle, two wheeler, cabs, metros, volvos, trains, flights, etc.,Buying expensive gadgets. I know a guy who makes Rs.30,000 per month and bought a headphone for Rs.23,000. People this stupid shouldn’t be allowed outside. If your colleague bought expensive phone, it is not necessary for you to do the same. If your salary is 2 lakh/m, it is OK to buy iPhone worth 60,000. But if your salary is 30,000/m and if you buy iPhone worth 60,000, you may call it as living but I will call it as being stupid. We all know phone these days are made to last for 2 years. After that it gets heavily outdated, battery backup goes down, phone will become slow, etc., now you think about buying another phone. It is like rat race.Health, health, health: This is not exactly a financial mistake, but health has big impact on finance. Lets take a successful IT employee. He own 3 BHK apartment worth 2 crore and drives high end sedan. This will be his daily routine. He wokes up at 7.30 AM, brush, bath, breakfast, get ready, take lift and gets down to parking, get in car, drive to office, take lift, go to his cabin, sit in his chair and start working, eat lunch, work, drink tea/coffee, work, by 7 PM he winds up his work and takes lift, gets down to parking, get in car, drive back to home, take lift, get inside home, sits in sofa, watch TV, eats dinner, social media, goes to sleep. Next morning, same routine. He may be successful in this job, but health wise he is doomed. Many successful people live their life without even a tiny amount of physical activity. Worst, Physical activity is just a part of the story. Another part is junks we put inside our body. Pizza, burgers, chemical filled foods, fried foods, fast foods, etc., They are nothing but poison. We put them inside our body without second thought.Your money may buy car or house but not a healthy body. Take care of your health now or end up paying crazy hospital bill. One thing I can say with 100% guarantee is that Sedentary lifestyle + Junk foods = Cancer, heart disease, diabetes, BP, knee pain, etc.,More points:Rs.1 lakh invested today in small cap mutual fund will become Rs.30 lakhs in 20 years.If you invest the money you spend on car or home loan interest in Small cap mutual fund (return more than 20%), in future you can use that money for your children education and wedding.To reduce Tax invest in ELSS, not in home loan.Start a mediclaim insurance as soon as possible (things we eat these days without doing any physical activites).Remember, every year thousands of people default their home loan and banks put those houses for auction (you will find that info in newspapers).Home loanEveryone needs roof over their head. I want a house too. Everybody does. But I prefer buying it with my own money so that I won't be putting myself and my family in financial risk. Though it may take some years, I personally find it as the wisest thing.Liquidity. A house may be a good asset but when comes to liquidity it is the worst.Interest rates are going down and my salary is increasing. Well your expenses also increasing. To be exact your expenses are also increasing a lot, like parent’s medical expense, children’s expense (and their future), inflation, your health, etc., To give you an example when you are 25 years old you need to pay Rs. 5000 per year for mediclaim insurance (5 lakh coverage). But for some above 70 it is 25,000 per year.Sorry if i hurt anyone’s sentiment…UPDATE:I am getting many comments disagreeing with my points. Someone even justified buying Rs.23,000 headphone. First of all, this article is mainly written for a majority of Indians who earns average money (Rs.30,000 to Rs.50,000). If you are making more than this, some points (or any points) may not be applicable to you. For someone who is earning Rs.2,00,000/m, they can easily afford home loan with Rs.40,000 interest. Its all about your income.I would like to thank everyone for taking some time to read, upvote and comment. Thank you very much.Happy investing…Thank youAshok Ramesh

It’s a feeling that will pass!In 2012, my husband and I, came to US. He was going back to an ivy college for a management degree and I thought living in US, was my ultimate dream.The first thing I noticed was the boredom, he was on F1 and I as his spouse was not entitled to work. I had just left a job in India to join him in US. He was busy all the time with coursework, and I had to entertain myself. We knew nobody in the place we lived, so no one visited us for months together. I used to contrast this with my stay in India, where at least my maid would visit me everyday. Some human touch, any human touch on a day to day basis.Since we were on a student visa, it meant that we had a short financial leash. We couldn’t spend freely, go anywhere we wanted to and eat anywhere we felt like. It was a constant month on month of scrimping and saving.Then came the disaster in the form of visa troubles. No matter what my husband tried most companies he cleared interview at were not interested in sponsoring his Visa, those that were interested in sponsoring we're not cleared. He must have given some 180 applications. None clicked. Finally something happened in Bangalore. A famous consulting firm hired him and flew back to the city we had left with just one month worth of finances left for staying in US.I cannot describe the feeling of joy the moment I touched down at Bangalore airport. I felt that I had just escaped a prison sentence. My stay in US was mostly confined to a small studio apartment, with a constant nagging worry about our future.Life was tough in India intially owing to the financial setback we had received, but I got a job. Then some months later I broke my leg. My help at home took over cooking, managing the house. A couple of relatives came over to help us in these times. Couldn't imagine that happening anywhere in US.Five years later we are back in US today on a completely different visa. I can work now but I am taking my time to start that. I look at US with a different, satisfied perspective now, coz I have a home of my own in Bangalore now. A home which has the best from the world. A home waiting for us, in a gated community where strangers have become family.And here when random strangers ask me if I plan to go back to India, I take great pleasure in telling them that I am waiting to go back to India. To my home, where u can get a hearty meal for 2$, where u can take a tuk-tuk for 2$ to the heart of the city, where u can get people to help you, where strangers take better care of u sometimes than family, where we have festivals that celebrate life, where you can choose to never feel lonely, where you can get stuffs from all over the world-a German furniture piece, sitting next to a Japanese one, where there are a million problems and a million opportunities to solve them.Sure we are not a super power yet, but people like us are going to bloody well try to make it one in our lifetime!!P S: I hope my answer, a tad long, has helped you realised that the country you live in is great.PPS: Thank you so much for the upvotes. Had no idea that I would get such an overwhelming response.Just wanted to add: Its 2021 and to all those guys who said that I would not be back in India, now that I am in US, thank you for your concern. I came back to India in 2020 just before all hell broke lose with the pandemic and all that. I can safely reiterate that I have no intention of moving to US again ever. I love the country I was born in, warts and all!