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PDF Editor FAQ

Is it considered inappropriate for male teachers to pat female students on the back?

I’m a high school teacher. Earlier this year, I had a student come to me with a major problem. She’s failing my class. She’s failing all of her classes. She isn’t a behavior problem, but she just isn’t getting any of her work done. I ask her to step outside to talk to me. My students are working on an assignment while I talk to this girl in a public hallway. We’re chatting for maybe a minute before she breaks down sobbing. Apparently her home life is a major mess. Parents are divorcing, mother is looking at being homeless, etc.So what do you do? Do you pat her on the back? Do you like having a job? This may sound callous, but you can’t afford to do it. On the other end of things, she didn’t ask you for it. You are putting your hands, uninvited, on another person because you thought it would solve their problems? Because you thought it would comfort them?I’m a nice enough guy, but I don’t want people touching me. The only people I want to touch me live in my house. I’ll shake hands, high five, etc. I’ve had administrators who think it’s okay to rub your shoulders or stroke your upper arm. It bugs me. Honestly. It is so damned unnatural, yet you don’t really want to look like a jerk. How can you know your student doesn’t feel the same way? Do you think a young woman wants you pawing the part of her body where her bra strap runs?A friend of mine and I were having a conversation via text the other day:Me: Now Molto Mario is a rapist. Or something. Wtf? Why can’t people keep it in their pants? It isn’t that hard.Him: I think it’s everyone but me. Seriously.Now… aside from the very obvious joke someone could make about my last statement in there, I think it makes a solid point. Many men are pigs and worse. Many men are shocked at what other men do. It made me physically ill when I found out that Bill Cosby was a sexual predator. I mean… it’s BILL COSBY. Don’t do something innocently which can get you lumped in with the many, many cases of actual sexual assault. Imagine you were a parent and saw someone manhandling your daughter.It is tempting to try to soothe a troubled child with touch. We are flesh and blood. Teachers are helpers. We want our students to be able to learn. Maslow taught us that people need to see to their psychological and basic needs before they can really set themselves to the task of learning. You also wouldn’t be the first teacher to make the mistake of doing something which could be questioned and used against you to terminate your employment and career, resulting in a loss of your place in society, dissolution of marriage and family, etc.Anything you wanted to do as a teacher should be done with words. You have a fancy, college vocabulary, right? Use your words. I’ve found them to be more powerful than anything else in my teacher’s arsenal. They haven’t failed me yet.Thanks for the A2A, Kelsey Johnson.

How would you (personally) react if Melania divorced Trump?

Personally, I would feel sorry for Barron Trump as the twin traumas of being moved to the White House and having his father excoriated in media would then be joined by the circus that would surround his parent’s divorce. His life would go spiraling downward, regardless of the fact that he’s the offspring of wealthy people.As for Donald and Melania, I couldn’t care less. She chose to marry a man old enough to be her father, who had a well-publicized history of adultery and infidelity. That her marriage is now failing is an easily foreseeable event for which she should have been prepared. If she isn’t, then she needs to become so very quickly.Donald, on the other hand, probably doesn’t care beyond the fact that yet another divorce will cost him money. He certainly didn’t use the greatest judgment in choosing the woman with whom he decided to break his marital vows, so it can be assumed that he also won’t bother doing so when it comes to the dissolution of his marriage. If he doesn’t care about his personal relationships, why should I?Again, I feel sorry for Barron Trump. Even though it’s clear that his parents are in a loveless marriage, the end of that marriage is still going to be traumatic for him. That it’s going to be played out in a media spotlight is going to make it even more so.

Why is polygamy illegal in the U.S.?

Polygamy is a much, much larger can of worms than same sex marriage. This country is still wrestling with the notion of two people of the same gender having a legally established marriage, getting the country's legal head wrapped around legal Polygamy will take much, much longer.The first legal step for Polygamy will be legal cohabitation. After that... who knows? On the top of my list of things we need are:Spousal Benefits: Currently, non-legally recognized spouses are not eligible to be added to healthcare plans as partners which can complicate benefits in a poly family.Recognition of community property assets. Non-legally recognized spouses have very little protection under the law at dissolution of a relationship. Unless they maintain a strict "my money vs your money" approach to assets, at the dissolution of a relationship they can have very little claim to community assets. This only adds to people becoming "trapped" in a poly relationship as they may have a very real fear of having nothing if they leave.Clear understanding of child custody in poly families. Custody isn't as simple as biology, you don't need a genetic relation to a child to be their parent, so at the dissolution of a poly marriage, how is custody handled?In many ways, when we look at the legal status of marriage, we're looking a lot more at what happens if it ends than what happens when it's going on. Right now, the elements of law that pertain to child custody, community property, and divorce in general are not set up to handle poly families. These are BIG legal cans of worms, and even if we use the precedents of same sex marriage to establish a moral imperative to open the door for poly marriage, that moral imperative doesn't provide a practical road map to resolving the logistical issues of implementing the decision.Do I think it's important? Of course I do. Do I think it's shameful that polygamous families have to go through all sorts of legal hoops to voluntarily build the kind of binding agreements that are automatic with a simple marriage? Of course I do. Do I think it's reasonable to expect this to get resolved in the next twenty years? Not even close.

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