Gap Addendum: Fill & Download for Free

Boy - this had me sweating.On a Valentine’s day, 2007, My parents literally dragged me to a Doctor’s house to see their girl in a typical arranged setup in Thrissur Kerala.Background, I was a Software Engineer and at that point onsite in the US. We were based in Mumbai living in a 1 Bedroom Apartment in Malad.My house then. Couldn’t get a pic without me - though the revolting me was showing the same attitude towards the whole arranged marriage setup.In contrast, their house was like a mansion.I went to her house, she wasn’t there but a very stern and strict looking moustached Doctor with the most piercing eyes interrogated me. He asked me to write down my office address and I somehow fumbled. Been ages since I held a paper and pen and I managed to scribble something in the diary which made the doctor’s handwriting besides look ornamental.The lady was in college - 8 years my junior. I saw her pic and the first thought that flashed my mind was God, she’s a kid! I badly wanted to run from there, but managed to gulp a glass of tea and endure few more questions from her parents. They decided to bring the girl down for a meet up 2 days later.When we left from there, I made it aptly clear to my parents that this would not work. They however insisted to meet her. This whole alliance was setup by my Grandpa who was a very respected person among our community.So 2 days later, I was again dragged to meet the girl. Had myself forcefully shaved and touched up by mom and aunt with talcum powder. To date, I do not know the purpose of talc. Is it to make you feel fairer - cause I ended up looking like a clown. Still didn’t complain as I was just going there to keep my Grandpa happy, and the worse I look, the better.Couple of hours later, the prospective bride a slim girl looking almost like a teenager with big eyes and long hair was sitting opposite me. I was again itching to run away. In my best effort to remain in controlled aggression I decided to break the ice with a subtle insult.“Why are you so thin?”Never mind that me, myself was a walking coat hanger at that time.She just smiled and shrugged it off. She asked me about my job and I explained all I could about it - that I’m currently in New York, but plan to come back and settle in India soon. I also gave another subtle hint about our age gap and how I was not comfortable with it.To keep the conversation going, I then asked her about her studies and interests. Since most girls in Kerala took to interests in arts, I asked her if she could sing and dance the classical arts. She said that she had trained in her younger years in both of them. That mellowed me down a bit and realisation dawned that she’s an innocent girl and regardless of what I have in mind, I shouldn’t be rude to her. We talked for about 10 minutes or so and then left from there.While coming back, parents told me to take a call. An easy decision, but I decided to ponder over once again. Couple of things in favour - a simple, innocent, beautiful girl in this day and age who can sing and dance! Cons - difference in lifestyle (our tiny apartment vs their huge house), age gap, not to mention a doctor father in law who should really have been in the army.A year later,My new house in Thrissur, KeralaCouple of months later,Me, my doctor father in law and my wife10 years later,AddendumPost marriage, she told me that she didn’t mind about our age gap as her parents had a similar (or more) gap.When I asked her to perform classical music and dance, she shrugged it off saying had learnt them when she was like 6 or 7 and didn’t recollect anything anymore.Five years later she had a realisation that she should not have blindly said yes to the proposal, but should have carefully weighed the pros and cons. And she could have got a much better person.Ten years now and we have fights over doing the dishes, my addiction with mobile, my forgetfulness, priorities, me not taking enough care of the kids, etc. etc.But yeah, put me back the same day we met and I will gladly marry her again without blinking an eye.

This is a bit more than 20 years, but it is the closest I have to twenty years that are comparable to one another. Contrary to what most people think, there were no steroids involved in that first pic. I could just build lots of muscle back then.I got thinner with age because you just can’t build as much muscle as you get older, no matter how hard you workout and diet.And I have to throw this one in because you cannot find a more classic 80’s pic than this one…denim with fringes, mullet, stache, hairy chest; I had it all….for better or worse (worse mostly)… I have no idea what the hell I was thinking…what can I say:I’m working on slimming down again so when I get back to 160 (that’s my weight in the 2016 pic), I’ll add that one here unless I take the entire answer down.Addendum:So I said I would update this if I got down to 160. I’m 54 now, so that’s a 27 year gap from the first photo posted above. Here’s my latest pic, from today, 12–8-20, at 160 pounds:

The only way to explain the gap is honestly. However, you don't need to make the two-year gap sound like a failure. I'm sure that during those two years you learned many things.I suggest that you give some serious thought to what are the three most important things you learned during those two years. Then you can present an answer like, "I took two years off to try to prepare for the IIT-JEE, but was unsuccessful in achieving that goal. It taught me that one must pursue a goal for the sake of the learning along the way, not just for achieving the goal…" An answer like that, showing the wisdom that you gained in those two years, is probably the best thing that you can do, since the failure is obvious.ADDENDUM: I got an “out of date” notice; but this is still the best answer I have.