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There are two types of solutions.One, you adopt strategies that hide your anxiety, or trick yourself into not being aware of it, thereby minimizing its effects.Two, you deal with the root of the anxiety, and get rid of it, once and for all.I will suggest strategies for the second type of solutions, since I personally believe it is more helpful for you.So, the first thing I’d suggest is to understand the cause of this anxiety. Understanding it will allow you to make steady, deliberate progress in resolving the issues at its root. (incidentally, this is also good for the general psychological health of your mind and body)It is hard for me to pinpoint the exact incidents that caused the anxiety, for I have no information of your past, but generally, social anxiety is caused by a lack of genuine self esteem.The lack of genuine self esteem is in turn created byexperiences you make.Your parents, teachers, siblings, friends belitteling you.Traumatic (and also non traumatic) experiences that sap your trust in yourself. For instance, the grandma telling your mother: “she can’t do that, she is a girl”.Generally, any information that makes you feel less worth. This is especially potent if that information comes from people you trust, for instance family members.The beliefs you adopt.If you believe you are weak, that the world around you is unsafe, or that you are in some way not able to do stuff, (for instance eye contact) then your psychological structure will adapt your personality according to those specific set of beliefs. Thus, you will grow fearfull of everything and everyone, which in the long run, may create the psychological outcome that you describe.The archetypes you adopt.This is a bit complex, but it is the actual root of the problem. I don’t have the space to properly explain what archetypes are, but to cut straight to the punchline, the archetypes you adopt are mainly responsible for the life you lead. Archetypes are the basic, core ideas, on which you rely, even if you are not entirely aware of them, or in most cases perhaps not aware at all. If you want the fastest way possible to understand what archetypes are, and how they affect us all, I recommend reading the book: The Book of The Triumph of Spirit: Master Key. From Michael Sharp. Note that it is not necessary for you to do this, in order to solve the issues. However, it is the cleanest, most radical way to do it, so you can once and for all say goodbye to social anxieties, once you manage to control some of the fear and dissipate and change the archetypes you are operating upon. (god i know it sounds complicated, but it really isnt. it’s just about what is in your mind. What you believe is true. If you believe you are a god, a bright spark of consciousness, a wonderfull person, a great woman, a caring, loving, smart person, obviously, you will act totally differently. If you believe the oposite, obviously, you will not act all to open about the world.) Just to give you a taste of what this might entail: I personally, have the oposite problem of yours. I always try to establish eye contact, because I love having eye contact with my peers. The only problem is, that most persons are just can’t maintain eye contact, for they too, have anxieties of some sort. You are not the only one… I feel that a huge amount of the population across the west do have the same issue. Anyhow, what I want to say is that some years ago, before comming to understand lots of stuff, I, too was fighting with a severe lack of self esteem. It was really crass, to the point that I thought of myself as less worth than a bug. (I mean it) This, of course, manifested itself in a host of social anxieties, and even psychosomatic symptoms. However, as soon as I started to change my archetypes, and also acted upon that change, my world turned to the better.So, my first suggestion is that you push everyone that belittles you, that makes fun of you, that somehow, in any form, makes you feel less than, out of your life. You don’t need such people. Not if you ever intend to regain your genuine self esteem. (And yes, you have 100% the right - and in my eyes also duty towards yourself - to push these persons out of your life.) Keep in mind, no wound has ever healed if it got hit again and again and again.Second, change your beliefs. Scrutinize your beliefs, and especially their root (archetypes - the core beliefs) and push every single belief out of your belief system that in some form tells you you are not worthy, that humanity is weak and frail, that women are weak, that they need protection, etc. I hope you get the basic idea. Every idea that hints towards you not being able to do x, any idea that suggests that you, women, men, or humans in general are less than, should be promptly deleted. Simply detect what ideas imply “less than” messages and delete them from your mental sphere. Push it away, acquire other answers, that are not less than messages, answer which are more positive and supportive of your personal growth and the personal growth of the entire world.You will see, that once you do that, your genuine self esteem will return on its own. You can’t trick your genuine self esteem. It comes of its own volition, but only into a “house” (your body) that is comfy and welcoming, as oposed to one that envisions a pitchblack world. (regardless if you are right now aware of it or not, the archetypes I mentioned earlier, are working.)And with your genuine self esteem, life is sooo much fun. I mean… no social fears of any kind! If you see a person, and you like him/her, you’ll just go to him and say “hi!”, and look deeply in his eyes, and who knows what happens next :).In the hopes if having been of service,Cheers

Similar to what Kafka described in his book The Metamorphozis, there was a time when I genuinely thought my self worth is similar to that of a bug. This, however changed dramatically.You should know that “awakening” your self worth is very important. In fact, it is crucial for living. However, I would not say “awakening”, I’d rather talk about “regaining” it.Well, you can try the following:Analyze your surroundings. If your peers, parents, teachers, coworkers, etc. treat you badly, if they jest over you, if they bully you, if your parents or grown children or spouse abuses you in any way, then, my dear, you live in a toxic environment.I should note that living in a toxic environment prohibits you to regain your self worth. You see, self worth is not something you have to build up. Every human has it, and it comes from the inside, without external dependencies. This means, that your real self worth is not dependent on whether or not you achieve a or b, whether you have a hot spouse, nice car, respectable job etc. It just doesn’t care about that stuff. While it is true that you don’t need to do anything specific in order to get self worth, unfortunately, there is a heck of alot you can do to make it go away. For instance, you can live in a toxic environment. The chronic assault, the unfulfilled needs, the screamings, the tension, the treatments that diminish your self esteem … you get the picture. Such things have real hard consequences for your self worth.2. After you analyzed your surroundings, you should be able to tell where you feel fine, and where you feel uneasy. Part from those who make you feel uneasy, or make them change. If you happen to feel uneasy everywhere, try to change your environment by telling them that you want them to stop. If that fails after some repetitions, then cut the cords with all of them, and, even if it sounds harsh, find new friends and a new family. You will never heal in a toxic environment. Expecting to regain your self worth in a toxic environment is like expecting from the body to heal a physical wound while periodically stabbing it with a knife. This just won’t cut it. (:P)3. Analyze your thoughts.If you find thoughts swirling around your mind that in any form diminish you (or diminish other persons for that matter) then get rid of them. Here, the same allegory works. Your psychological wounds will never heal if you hit it again and again and again, and this is true regardless if the hits come from your surroundings - what has been termed as “environment” - or from yourself - which mostly occurs through your thoughts.You get rid of your thoughts by simply stop using them. Push them away. Say “shoo!” to the thoughts that make you weak and powerless and fearful. There is no need for them. Just push them away. If they are persistent, be persistent as well. Push them off persistently, and they will stop comming after some time.There is a well developed theory behind what i’m telling you, if you wish to read parts of it, here you go: Articles - The Lightning PathI inserted a more general link for all sorts of articles, but in this specific case, the article about “E” for Environment, and perhaps also “A” for Addiction will be of use. You will know why I suggest reading the article about Addiction as well when you do. (It gives you more insight about how the psychological apparatus of your body works)Cheers,

Certainly.I speak of personal experience here, but also theoretical knowledge.Here’s some stuff you HAVE TO know.First, realize that (real/genuine) self esteem is not something that you gain by attaining x or y.You see, there are three states to the self esteem of a person.a) genuine self esteemb) dependent self esteemc) lack of both kinds of self esteemYou may be able to gain dependent self esteem if you attain x or y, for instance, have good grades, get lots of money, have a hot spouse, etc. However, that is not real self esteem, as that kind of self esteem disappears as soon as the thing which it relies upon vanishes. Take the money away from a millionaire, and you will see how he stops acting high and mighty, and that he is not so self-confident after all.Thus, you will want to gain genuine self esteem.The good news is, that it comes from alone, if you let it. The bad news is, that there is a host of stuff you and your surroundings can do to you in order to shoo it away.So, why does it go away?The lack of genuine self esteem is created by the experiences you make. Your parents, teachers, siblings, friends belitteling you. I know its obvious for you, but I write it nonetheless.Generally, any information that makes you feel less worth, or any information or experience that suggests that you can’t do something diminishes your self esteem. The effect of this toxic socialization process, who every single one of us endures, is especially potent if that information comes from people you trust, for instance family members.The beliefs you adopt also play a crucial role. If you believe you are weak, that the world around you is unsafe, or that you are in some way not able to do stuff, (for instance talking to people) then your psychological structure will adapt your personality according to those specific set of beliefs. Thus, you will grow fearfull of everything and everyone.The archetypes you adopt also play an important role. This is a bit complex, but it is the actual root of the problem. I don’t have the space to properly explain what archetypes are, but to cut straight to the punchline, the archetypes you adopt are mainly responsible for the life you lead. Archetypes are the basic, core ideas, on which you rely, even if you are not entirely aware of them, or in most cases perhaps not aware at all. If you want the fastest way possible to understand what archetypes are, and how they affect us all, I recommend reading the book: The Book of The Triumph of Spirit: Master Key. From Michael Sharp. Note that it is not necessary for you to do this, in order to solve the issues. However, it is the cleanest, most radical way to do it, so you can once and for all say goodbye to social anxieties, insecurity, etc., once you manage to control some of the fear and dissipate and change the archetypes you are operating upon. (god i know it sounds complicated, but it really isnt. it’s just about what is in your mind. What you believe is true. If you believe you are a god, a bright spark of consciousness, a wonderfull person, a great woman or man, a caring, loving, smart person, obviously, you will act totally differently. If you believe the oposite, obviously, you will not act all too open about the world.)So, my first suggestion is that you push everyone that belittles you, that makes fun of you, that somehow, in any form, makes you feel less than, out of your life.You don’t need such people.Not if you ever intend to regain your genuine self esteem. (And yes, you have 100% the right - and in my eyes also duty towards yourself - to push these persons out of your life.)This includes yourself, too. Don’t allow yourself to belittle yourself in any way. You are not “weak”. You are not fearfull. You are not stupid. Anything along these lines should be promptly discarded. Keep in mind, no wound has ever healed if it got hit again and again and again.Second, change your beliefs. Scrutinize your beliefs, and especially their root (archetypes - the core beliefs) and push every single belief out of your belief system that in some form tells you you are not worthy, that humanity is weak and frail, that men can’t be sensual or emotional, that women are weak and powerless, etc. I hope you get the basic idea. Every idea that hints towards you not being able to do x, any idea that suggests that you, women, men, or humans in general are less than, should be promptly deleted.Simply detect what ideas imply “less than” messages and delete them from your mental sphere.Note that a whole lot of existential “answers” give us a deeply negative messages. Messages that contribute towards the destruction of our genuine self esteem. In truth, there’s barely anyone out there with a genuine self esteem. Anyhow, push it away, acquire other answers, that are not less than messages, answers which are more positive and supportive of your personal growth and the personal growth of the entire world.You will see, that once you do that, your genuine self esteem will return on its own. You can’t trick your genuine self esteem. It comes of its own volition, but only into a “house” (your body) that is comfy and welcoming, as oposed to one that envisions a pitchblack world. (regardless if you are right now aware of it or not, the archetypes I mentioned earlier, are working.)You might also want to seek psychological help. But if you do, make sure it’s a real professional. You must know that most “professionals” have no idea whatsoever what they are doing, and how they hurt their clients without even realizing.Greetings, and good luck!