Family Friends Application: Fill & Download for Free

“Hey man, could you take a picture of me?” I ask a passerby, wanting to document this totally Instagrammable moment in India.“Sure, ma’am,” he says.I hand him my phone. He takes one photo, hands my phone back to me, and says, “Is it ok?”It’s not okay. He cropped my forehead.How is it so hard to get my entire forehead in the picture?!?! But, not wanting to take more of his time, I tell him it’s fine and he walks away.My shot at being an Instagram star is forever gone. Nobody else is around to capture this moment for me. I resign to taking a selfie that doesn’t get the whole background in.Tragic.I’m building an app!!!!!!!The purpose of this app is to bring a photographer to people for everyday moments, to open up the market for non-professional photography.This app is for dads who are usually the family photographer, but want to finally be in a photo with the whole fam. It’s for friends meeting up who want a photo together that’s not a selfie. It’s for solo travelers like me who want someone to take a good picture of them.The concept of the app is: you request a photographer to your location, a photographer comes to you, uses your camera phone to take as many photos wanted in that location for 10 minutes in exchange for $10.Currently, I’m crowdfunding to hire help to prototype the application and build a software blueprint to build the app.I would like YOUR help.You can donate or learn more through my website, Snapster.us :)

My coworker was fired because he failed to show up for work. He did not show up because he was in jail.The reason that he was in jail is the bizarre story.He worked in the cubicle next to me. Bob was hired to do IT help desk tasks. He helped employees with “computer running slow” or “network connection failure” type of issues.Bob gave me the creeps. He did not respect personal boundaries. I told him that I had a boyfriend and did not want to ride horses with him. He eventually stopped asking after the 5th time that I said no. I did not appreciate the overly friendly manner (coming up behind me and touching me).Fortunately I did not work with him every day, so I was able to mostly ignore him. And I tried to put my back against a wall, if he was around.Six months after Bob started at my workplace, the police showed up and arrested him.The news story on Bob’s arrest stated that he had just gotten out of jail for bank fraud. It turns out that my employer did not do any criminal background check. And his resume was probably 100% made up.He was charged with murdering his ex-girlfriend. She was found with one foot in a stirrup being dragged by a horse.After Bob was charged, the family of his wife started demanding information. They wanted to know where their daughter and grandson were. The family members were sure that he murdered his wife and son too.Bob said nothing.The family hired a psychic. The psychic said the wife and child’s bodies were underwater.The sheriff used a trained “cadaver dog” to search the rural area that Bob’s wife last lived. It was a trailer next to a pond. The dog smelled bodies and Sheriff planned to drain the pond.NOTE: I don’t believe the sheriff searched the area because of the psychic. I think the family was being very loud and getting interviewed by the media. And the family demanded to know why the sheriff was not doing his job. Bob has been charged with murdering one woman. Maybe he had murdered two women.Bob committed suicide in his jail cell after he was told that the pond was going to be drained.The sheriff drained the pond and found 150 year old Native American bodies. The wife and child were not found.Based on the news stories here is the timeline:1995 - Last time that anyone saw Bob’s wife and son1996 - Bob and his girlfriend fill out loans applications for cars, boats, houses. They lie on the loan applications. They faked their identity, references, jobs, etc…1996 / 1997 - Bob is in jail for fraudJan 1998 - Bob is out of jail. His ex-girlfriend (who testified against Bob in his fraud trial) is found dead after being dragged by a horse.June 1998 - Bob arrestedAugust 1998 - Bob dead from suicide

Eh, is “grandfather” close enough? If so, mine is Chuck Norris.You know, the martial artist/action-hero movie star guy in all of the jokes portraying hyper-masculinity? Yeah, that dude.My “Paka” in his Walker, Texas Ranger days with a 7-year old GabiI am his eldest grandchild out of nine.*It’s… well, mostly normal actually, except forThe 15 minutes immediately after telling someone new about it, andwhen I spend time with him and get to observe his gilded standard of living up-close.Do I tell outsiders? Not usually, because of the first point mentioned above. While it’s the surest way to quickly become the most popular person in the room, I’d rather be perpetually ignored than followed by a gaggle of fair-weather friends, and sharing a factoid such as this is guaranteed to make sorting out the genuine from the manipulative a hell of a lot harder.Do people ever guess? Never, but to be fair I don’t see why anyone would. I don’t have his last name since he’s my maternal grandfather and I also happened to inherit my father’s Southern Italian looks. (Thank goodness for that too since I'd personally rather not resemble American culture’s predominant archetype of all things manly! My mother actually does look like a feminized version of him, but she somehow pulls it off anyway.)Is it irritating? Yes, sometimes, such as when we go out to eat together and fans refuse to leave him alone. (Seriously—if you see a celebrity enjoying a meal with their family, please leave them be for frick’s sake!) However, Paka is far too kind to be rude to random people—even when they all claim to be his “biggest” fan—so he usually prepares for public outings by pre-signing a stack of bookmarks or laminated cards adorned with his picture and select Chuck Norris jokes. (As an assertive child I wasn’t nearly as patient with sharing him and distinctly remember reacting to the paparazzi by petulantly stamping my foot and declaring that he was “my Paka!”)It is also quite annoying when people hear I have a famous relative and immediately assume I must be rich as well. Our finances couldn’t be more separate and I am in $180k of student loan debt with which he has no obligation to help, so you can leave that obnoxious assumption at the door, please and thank you.Is it fun? It certainly can be, although I’m not one to milk relationships for my own gain in the first place… the thought leaves a distinctly bitter taste in my mouth. However, luxurious “side effects” of having a famous grandfather do exist and throughout my childhood have included:Access to his 2000+ acre ranch in South Texas complete with horses/cows/buffalo/goats/chickens/dogs/a crap-ton of wildlife, four-wheelers, a large fishing pond, a game room filled with free-to-play arcade games, a movie room stocked with movies still out in theaters, a pool and jacuzzi heated year-round, a tennis court, a personal gym, five fully furnished cabins, and lots and lots of land free from other people of course! This was practically my summer home growing up, and in Oct. 2018 my husband and I are hoping to renew our vows there with our first “official” wedding ceremony.Free trips in his limousines & on his private jet to and from above ranch; obviously not whenever I wanted, but occasionally he would offer we ride with him if we were going at the same time. And maaaan, those private planes were posh! Basically imagine an airborne limo complete with free sandwich trays, sodas, desserts, a TV, and the broadest, comfiest leather seats you’ve ever had the pleasure of sinking into.Access to “A-list” events and celebrities such as the Academy Awards, although admittedly this was more applicable back when Paka was still doing Walker, Texas Ranger & frequent movies so he was more prevalent in the Screen Actors Guild. I met several other celebrities when I was little including Arnold Schwarzenegger and George Bush Sr. at Paka’s black-tie fundraising events and various shindigs.Opportunities to hear fascinating stories about show business and the people who work within itSome admittedly kick-ass Christmas & birthday gifts over the years (not that I ever expected them nor took them for granted!)Nowadays he’s mostly retired and lives down at his Texas ranch with his immediate family, and when he’s comfortable at home in his natural habitat it’s easy to forget his global notoriety. Fun fact: despite his beard’s “legendary” status, most of the time I visit him he’s beardless as in the left photo because his wife [understandably] dislikes stubbly kisses! Of course, he obviously still grows it out for media appearances ;)At the ranch! Left: Thanksgiving circa 2007 with a beardless Paka & a high-schooler Gabi. Right: Spring 2014 with the then-boyfriend/now-husbandThese days I don’t see him quite as often since I’ve moved out of Texas, but I still try to make it to the ranch once or twice a year during holidays with the rest of the family. Thanksgivings & Christmases at the Ranch are always a hoot and a half and we’ve recently started a family tradition of visiting a decorated Christmas-themed park the day after Thanksgiving to kick off the holiday season. Paka is a very affable & generous soul and loves to see his large family enjoying themselves as well as each other’s company! :)Despite his considerable fame, I honestly tend to forget about it when I visit or think of him because to me he’s always just been my Paka—my kindhearted grandfather with the booming, knee-slapping laugh, the larger-than-life stories, and the prickly bearded cheek kisses.*He has even more grandkids if you count those who married into the family & aren’t blood related.