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My period has been missing for 254 days. My mother doesn't want to take me to the doctor. She thinks that natural remedies will help. I'm 16. What do I do?

I will go even further . Not to alarm you, but while menstration (periods) in the first year after you start them can be erractic, after that they should be rather regular. The number one reason for missing periods is pregnancy. Yes, it has been longer than that, but you could have missed four months, then who knows. It would help to have more info. Are you sexually active? Do you use birth control? If so, what kind.You do have rights over your body and your health. You can go to any physician, and I recommend that you do. It would be confidential unless they needed to intervene in some way. However, if they felt it was expedient, they could ask one of your guardians, parents, to give consent. If they don’t, my sense is they would involve social services. If only to get permission. Of course, the best course would be for the provider to reach the parent and to have them come down. The mere fact that their daughter were that worried should go a long way.She could also ask a friend to talk to their parents confidentially. One things as adults, adults tend to know the options better than teenagers.YOU NEED HEALTHCARE. At the very least, walk right into an emergency room and tell them your story. They can’t turn you away. They know the laws. And, they should work to resolve it.Meanwhile get a pregnancy test from the drug store. If you have been sexually active with or without birth control over the past six to nine months.I wanted to add some information for you as I am very concerned about your health and well-being. The following is based on Maine state law and is directly edited by my attorney as I see this type of thing about four times per year. I will highlight important sections as not all of it will apply. Certainly, you are not talking about becoming emancipated, but attaining healthcare as a minor is a lot a like. Also, the word “incompetent” in the law is not calling you imcompetent, it is just a legal term for this statute.1) If a 16 year old were emancipated by court order would she be able to come to office appointments by herself without parental permission? Yes.2) If a 16 year old is not yet emancipated by court order, is she able to come to the appointment by herself without parental permission? Answer: No, unless: (i) she is a pregnant minor contemplating whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy, in which case she is authorized to receive information and counseling concerning public and private agencies available to provide birth control information and services, or (ii) she is a minor who may be treated as an adult on the basis that she has been living separately from her parents or legal guardian for at least 60 days and is independent of parental support.3) If the 16 year old is able to come to the appointment, is she authorized to start birth control without parental authorization? Answer: No, unless she is a minor who may be treated as an adult. In this case, only if: (i) she is emancipated by court order (which doesn’t appear to be the case), or (ii) she is a minor who may be treated as an adult on the basis that she has been living separately from her parents or legal guardian for at least 60 days and is independent of parental support.Keep in mind, that if you were to show up at my office, my staff would hopefully pick up on the fact that you were a minor. I would then note that I could not treat you without consent of a guardian (parent if that is the case). But, that does NOT mean I would say to you, “I can’t treat you. Bye.” I would then be faced with a medical situation that I would deem requires some type of intervention. Whether that means speaking with your parents or hopefully having them come to the office, I would like do that. My number one concern would be that you left and were lost to follow-up. At that point, I would feel completely responsible for your health and well-being. While a minor is considered unable to make prudent decisions for their healthcare, they are also by the same token, considered not to know when the lack of healthcare is not safe. One good thing about a solo physician is he or she will know the family. I would know your mom and how she would deal with this issue.BackgroundIn Maine, the person legally authorized to provide consent to treat a minor varies according to the minor’s legal status, the type of treatment or health care service being provided to the minor, and, in certain circumstances, the age of the minor. A minor is defined as any person less than 18 years of age.Generally, minors are presumed to be legally incompetent to provide informed consent for medical treatment or health care services. Accordingly, unless otherwise indicated, informed consent must be obtained from the minor’s parent or guardian.However, there are exceptions to the general consent rule for minors. Some minors have the same rights as adult patients to consent to medical treatment. Other minors have a limited right to consent to specific medical and mental health treatment services, depending on the type of care rendered, the circumstances in which care is provided, and, in some instances, upon the age of the minor. In all cases, the authority of the minor to consent is predicated upon the treating healthcare provider’s determination that the minor possesses decisional capacity to provide informed consent to treatment.1. Minors Who May Be Treated as Adults: The following minors are legally authorized to provide consent to all health care services:a. Minors who have been living separately from their parents or legal guardians for at least 60 days and are independent of parental support.b. Minors who are or have been legally married.c. Minors who are or who have been members of the U.S. Armed Forces.d. Minors who have been emancipated by court order.e. Minors who are residing in a correctional facility pursuant to a conviction as an adult.A treating healthcare provider should request appropriate documentation of the above circumstances (e.g. marriage license, Armed Service ID, emancipation order, etc.) prior to providing treatment to the minor.2. Minors Authorized to Provide Consent Under Certain Circumstances: A minor is authorized to consent to the following healthcare services:a. Treatment for Alcohol Abuseb. Treatment for Drug Abusec. Treatment for Emotional or Psychological Problemsd. Spiritual Treatmente. Organ Donationf. Sexual Assault Forensic Examinationg. Birth Control Information: A pregnant minor contemplating whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy is authorized to receive information and counseling concerning public and private agencies available to provide birth control information and services.h. Family Planning Services: The following minors are authorized to provide consent to receive family planning services:(i) Minors who are parents;(ii) Minors who are married;(iii) Minors who have the consent of their parent or legal guardian to receive family planning services; and(iv) Minors who, in the professional judgment of a physician, may suffer probable health hazards if family planning services are not provided.Family planning services include: ·Counseling with trained personnel regarding family planning, contraceptive procedures and the treatment of infertility;·Distribution of literature relating to family planning, contraceptive procedures and the treatment of infertility; and·Referral of patients to physicians or health agencies for consultation, examination, tests, medical treatment and prescription for the purposes of family planning, contraceptive procedures and treatment of infertility and provision of contraceptive procedures and supplies.i. Minors Who are Parents: A minor who is a parent is generally entitled to provide consent to health care services on behalf of his or her child in the absence of a guardianship, custody order, or other limitation on the minor’s parental rights, even though the minor may lack the authority to consent to the same healthcare services on behalf of his- or herself.A minor authorized to consent to a specific type of medical treatment or health care service is also authorized to refuse that same treatment or service.A minor who consents on his or her own behalf to healthcare services is responsible for the costs of such services, unless the minor’s parent or guardian has expressly agreed to assume full or partial responsibility.First, cost would not be an issue. As a minor, you would not likely be held responsible for cost, and hospitals would work with you anyway. For me, I would never turn away a patient for healthcare costs.Just like anything, things are not written in stone. If a minor shows up in an emergency room for an ear infection, they will not be treated without consent. But, if they show up with a major concussion, etc., they will receive a Cat Scan of the brain, because the physician will deem it emergent. He/She will try to get hold of your mother or father or other guardian, but they won’t wait longer than five to ten minutes.Keep in mind the following: The decision of whether or not you can give consent as a minor and be treated by a healthcare provider, is completely up to the provider. If I see an 11 yo walk in with a cold, I will not treat (although I would likely call social services to find out why an 11 yo is by himself. But, if I feel that by not treating you, your health is at risk, I can treat you, and if there is any legal recourse, it will be on me.The very fact that in your question you state 254 days and not a year reveals the level of concern you have. As a 16 yo, I am very proud of you for coming on Quora with this question. Ultimately, you are the one who has to advocate for yourself. I should say, knowing only half the story, that your mother THINKS she is doing the right thing. I would start with your FP or your pediatrician. You can always call them confidentially and see what they say. If you parents have any questions, let me know, and I will give you my phone number so I can help.Good luck. Please comment back if you need more info.

What are the psychological effects of a parent yelling at a child in a harsh manner?

The effects of even modestly harsh parenting can range from minor and temporary to catastrophic and life-long, depending on the susceptibility profile of the child.The go-to study to start with is the Ace Study: http://www.acestudy.org/.If you're asking as a parent or prospective parent, I'd just like to say that, in the absence of specific training and/or therapy, we parents tend to model our parenting on how we were treated as children ourselves; often with unfortunate and unnecessary adverse consequences. Again, start with the ACE Study, above.If you need services, the ACE website above has some links on their FAQ page.I speak as someone who has lived all sides of this question. Let me know if you need further references.[Original 11 Apr 2015; follow-up edit, 2 Dec 2015:]I just came across this highly readable and well researched essay. In it the author describes a couple cases showing the adult life consequence of adverse childhood experience (ACE), then moves on to the origin story of the ACE Study, following with some recent findings from the more than 15oo follow-on research projects, continues through a discussion of the costs of the too-slow dissemination of awareness and inclusion of these findings into the practice of physical medicine, and finally wraps with a little hope for the afflicted.How bad experiences in childhood lead to adult illness — Donna Jackson Nakazawa — Aeon Essays[Follow-up edit, 8 Dec 2015:]I just came across this 7 minute interview with Dr. Vincent Felitti, the founder of the ACE Study. It's pretty good.

Why are Americans failing to encourage boys to succeed in their education as much as they seem to encourage girls?

Looking at the grades for my 1st period class, I can see that 4 students who finished the semester with less than a 50%, all four of them are boys. Looking at my 2nd period, I see that 10 students will be finishing the semester with an A- or better; only 2 of them are boys.By almost every measure of academic achievement, girls are doing better than ever.And by the same measure, boys are falling further behind.The truth is that we are in the midst of what Dr. Warren Farrell calls a boy crisis. In fact, that was the title of his most recent book.The Financial Times put it this way:In Britain, a girl is 75% more likely to go to university than a boy. And the lower the economic status, the greater the gap between boys and girls. Why are boys failing so badly?I. Boys mature more slowly.The problems seem to start early. According to social-scientists in Britain, Girls really do mature quicker than boys. That means that on her 6th brthday a girl is far more emotionally and mentally prepared to do school work than a boy is on his 6th birthday.In America, the differences between boys and girls are compounded by other issues.Because our dominant Progressive Education model is failing kids on many levels, we’ve begun frontloading actual academics into kindergarten. So now we’ve got 4 and 5 year olds doing what 5 and 6 year olds did when I was a kid…or what 7 year olds do in Finland's very successful schools. Where a Finnish 5 year old boy is learning to play, cooperate and follow directions, his American counterpoint is struggling with developmentally inappropriate academics.II. Boys without fathers do worse than similar girls.In addition to what’s happening in the schools, there’s a lot happening in the homes that is negatively effecting boys. For a while now the overall fatherlessness rate has hovered around 40%Here are the common Psychological Effects of Growing Up Without a Father:More Likely to be AggressiveMore Likely to Be DepressedMore Likely to Have Low Self-EsteemMore Likely to Do Poorly in SchoolsMore Likely to Be Incarcerated and to Commit SuicideMore Likely to Use DrugsWhile both boys and girls suffer when a father is absent from the home, the negative impacts seem to hit boys harder.III. Boys often test well, but…Boys often do well on tests, but as our elementary educational system has moved away from tests and exams towards a more “holistic” method of assessing learning, boys frequently lag. The Huffington Post has asserted that starting in Kindergarten educational Bias Sets Boys Up For Failure.Christopher Cornwell, head of economics at the University of Georgia’s Terry College of Business, UGA’s David Mustard and Columbia’s Jessica Van Parys have published a study that they say shows “gender disparities in teacher grades start early and uniformly favor girls.”The researchers analyzed data from 5,800 elementary school students and found that boys performed better on standardized exams in math, reading and science than their course grades reflected. The authors suggest that girls are truly only outperforming boys in “non-cognitive approaches to learning” — defined as attentiveness, task persistence, eagerness to learn, learning independence, flexibility and organization — leading to better grades from teachers. The study is published in the latest issue of The Journal of Human Resources.What does this look like in the classroom?Boys brains tend to be hardwired differently than girls brains. The same characteristics that drive some boys to stare at an electronic game until they destroy their enemy, can also drive to want to dominate a test.This year I started doing all bellwork (warm up assignments) online. Every single boy who gets better than a 90% will announce it. If two boys get 100 percent they will high five each other. Even a lower performing boy with behavioral issues will feel some pressure to do better than their low performing peers.Put those same boys into a cooperative group to complete a project, and the boys who were high-fiving each other over 100 percents on bellwork will get almost nothing done. Meanwhile, even lower performing girls will put together beautiful projects. Over my 20+ year teaching career, girls have always excelled at working together. High performing boys can rally themselves to get a decent project done, sometimes. But when placed in groups, lower performing boys seem to fall apart. During group work assignment, the highest performing boys will take over and literally do all the work, making them resentful of their lower performing group mates.As schools have moved further away from individual work, boys seem to suffer. Many boys who would be motivated to be the best with individual work assignments, can turn into complete slackers when working in a group.IV. Schools have abandoned knowledge for emotionAccording to Chris Wolski, American schools have abandoned knowledge in favor of emotionalism. It’s certainly true that schools have abandoned the idea that transmitting knowledge is an important component of education.In the 1970s, sociologists Pierre Bourdieu, Basil Bernstein and Michael FD Young published Knowledge and Control, a work that argued that the traditional way of transmitting knowledge was actually an artificial construct by ruling elites designed to keep the working class down.The book raised questions rarely asked before about the basics of formal education: the curriculum, examinations, subjects, definitions of intelligence, the teacher’s authority. School knowledge, Young suggested, could be seen as a ruling-class construction designed to ensure working-class children failed and meekly took their places on factory assembly lines.The ideas expressed in Knowledge and Control appealed to a new generation of teachers who had gone to college during the height of the Counterculture movement. Young “hippie” teachers in K-12 and higher education were eager to implement something the opposite of what had been done traditionally.While every kid didn’t end up in a non-school, the de-emphasis on knowledge would end up harming the education of all students. Eventually Michael FD Young, The counterculture class warrior who opposed traditional education would join ED Hirsch in pushing for a a re-emphasis on knowledge.Today, its author has changed sides in the knowledge wars. Like the American ED Hirsch, Young has become a guru for the growing number of teachers who argue that children need knowledge and lots of it. He broadly supports the former Education Secretary Michael Gove’s curriculum reforms restoring academic subjects to pre-eminence. Some quote his book Bringing Knowledge Back In (2008) as a sacred text, just as Knowledge and Control was to their parents’ generation. Schools should teach things that children can’t learn elsewhere, Young now argues. There’s no point in them otherwise.I would assert that the de-emphasis on knowledge has hurt all students, but has disproportionately harmed boys. After 20+ years of teaching middle school and high school, I’ve found that bright young men engage strongly with knowledge. When they develop an interest in a subject, they can be absolutely compelled to learn as much as they can about the subject. Interesting facts can often be the gravitational force that pulls young men into learning.As a child I suffered with severe dyslexia that made reading difficult. But books and magazines that listed the specifications of cars, airplane and tanks would draw me in. Eventually, I would conquer my reading problem, but the gravitational force that compelled me to do so was the top speed of the 300SL and the combat range of the P-47.It also needs to be pointed out that a lot of the assignments students are doing in school these days emphasize social-emotional factors above knowledge. This is where a key neurological difference between boys and girls comes into play.Very small children process negative emotions in the most primitive areas of the brain. As girls mature, the processing of negative emotions migrates from these primitive areas to more advanced areas where speech is processed. But in males, negative emotions continue to be processed in the primitive part of the brain. That’s why my wife can ask me how I feel about a subject, and I’m left struggling for a response because it would never occur to me that I might feel anything about that subject. Or if I do feel something I might want to go in the back yard and punch a heavy bag, but certainly I don’t want to talk about it.Now think about a typical reading and writing assignment. Students will get a piece of literature about someone going through something unpleasant, then told to write about how they (the student) would feel if facing the same situation. To begin with the reading passage interest will hold no interest to boys. Then they are being asked to put words to something for which there are no apparent words. And if that isn’t frustrating enough, you also have to remember that 90% of problem readers are boys. Just try to imagine the level of frustration of a 12 year old problem reader, being directed to digest a passage of text and interpret that text into emotion and write about it.Assuming that you’re a pretty average person, I’d like you to think about this assignment. I want you to read the directions to some new piece of tech, but only read the French version of the instructions. Now write a message to someone explaining how to set up the the new equipment, but write them in Spanish. If you speak either of those languages, substitute in German for the language you speak. If that sounds frustrating, that’s exactly how a male problem reader feels when asked to read and write about emotional topics.V. Breakdown of DisciplineThis one is of great personal importance to me. In addition to being dyslexic, I was severely hyperactive. This was before anyone had heard the term ADHD. I was labelled Hyperkinetic and placed on drugs. To what degree my hyperkinesis was an actual biological disorder and to what degree it was a result of having no father and a particularly unstable mother, I cannot say. Additionally, I lived with my grandparents on a farm. Also living on the farm was my uncle, a man who saw being a criminal outlaw as a point of pride.I spent much of my childhood surrounded by his hippie, biker and cholo friends. After getting picked on in school, a member of a biker gang taught me the rudiments of boxing. Without going into too many details, I’ll just say that I had some serious behavior problems. Then something wonderful happened to me at the age of 12, even if it didn’t feel wonderful at the time.After getting sucker punched by an older gang member from my special-ed class at the County Fair and Date Festival, I was sent to the local Catholic school. Because of academic reasons, I was put back a grade, which meant I had 3 years of very strict nuns who saw habituating me to good behavior and general scholarship as the Lord’s work. During those 3 years, I developed the impulse control I needed to succeed in high school, college and grad school.But our current educational system, designed to appeal to boys as little as possible, also lacks the disciplinary controls needed to help those boys learn impulse control. When I was in public schools, if I had started throwing furniture I would have immediately had a very serious Hispanic woman grab me by the ear and drag me to the office. In Catholic school it never would have been a possibility. Now if a kid starts throwing furniture, there is a very different approach.And after the dust has settled, the student throwing furniture is unlikely to face much in the way of discipline. For smaller disciplinary problems like wasting time in class or defiance, there are no consequences.Part of the problem is that the Obama Administration put pressure on states to not suspend students for minor things, like telling a teacher to “f*** off.” The state of California responded with AB 1729, AB 420 and SB 419 which make it almost impossible to discipline a student for defiance. If the teacher and administrator are willing to jump through feces-load of hoops, the student might face a relatively minor consequence. Most administrators don’t have time for that because there are too many kids misbehaving. So mostly they get a slap on the wrist and sent back to class to repeat the behavior.But while American society has created a system where severe misbehavior has become tolerated, simply acting like a boy is treated as a problem. Males have been drawing pictures of war and fighting since long before Albrecht Durer ever picked up a pencil (or whatever they had in 1485).But now if a boy draws anything that looks like a battle scene he’s going to be hauled to an administrator and psychologist. Seven years ago a boy was suspended for chewing Pop-Tart into shape of a gun. Today you are more likely to get suspended for this……than for this.If you wanted to deliberately design a school system that would empower hyperactive boys to not study and not to work, it would look exactly like public schools in California…and much of the rest of the United States. Boys are more likely to have disciplinary problems than girls, so the absence of discipline in school particularly harms the academic opportunities of boys.ConclusionThe educational system is rigged against boys. Academic learning begins before most boys are developmentally ready, meaning that too many of them are starting off from a deficit. The emphasis on group work and social-emotional assignments above knowledge-based individual assignments — and opportunities to display mastery — conflicts with the learning styles of most boys. The breakdown of school discipline means that we have provided boys with an easy alternative to applying effort and gaining knowledge. A boy may see that easy alternative as having no bad consequences in the short-term, but it may have high costs for him in the long term. In the meantime, the disruptions impede learning for everybody in the classroom, and make teaching a less desirable occupation so that people who could have been effective teachers may apply their talents elsewhere. All of these factors severely disadvantage boys.

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