Verbal Cues In Spelling: Fill & Download for Free

Yes, and while much of what narcissists do no longer interests or surprises me, this aspect retains its power to fascinate. I call it the “harbinger moment” - that unexpected episode of vulnerability and full disclosure.It went beyond mere verbal cues, to detailed and explicit confession. She spelled herself out for me - full confession of what she was like, how hard she was on everyone, and so on.Why is such a moment unexpected? Consider the narcissist: Averse to letting her guard down for anyone, she spends her life from early childhood constructing a facade behind which she feels safe, together with a substantial toolset of aggressive-defensive techniques of manipulation and supply extraction. The facade may involve grandiosity or merely quiet detached superiority, but the primary goal is vulnerability avoidance: control everyone in your orbit at all times.Since the primary goal is vulnerability avoidance, how do such revelations come about?My personal theory is that there is a widespread urge, when building rapport or trying to establish intimacy with others, to disclose something about yourself. In the case of Nosferatu, it occurred during the peak of her idealization of me, at a time of a deep need to bond with someone. It’s so powerful an urge in humans that it overrides the narcissist’s security system, opening the doors for a few moments of disclosure, before they are shut again.But this is just one theory. Here’s the list of possible reasons I’ve pondered for these revelatory or confessional moments:A cultural or even instinctual drive to bond by showing vulnerability, as I mentioned above.Facades are impossible to seamlessly maintain. Narcissists, though skilled in that trade, still find the whole exercise exhausting, because they do it their whole lives, and so they may long to be released from living that way. At a moment of idealization and a desire to bond, they try to cast off that burden for one moment.“In for a penny, in for a pound” - It’s actually the narcissist preemptively excusing herself for how she will treat you. You have been granted access to the secrets of the inner temple, and are fully vested. Since you were fairly warned, you have thereby consented to devaluation and discard, and her hands are washed of all guilt. What is about to happen to you is your problem, not hers.The knowledge that you have been granted a privileged view grates on the narcissist with the passage of time. During the inevitable devaluation, it will be one more reason you are seen as a liability who must be decisively disposed of.Narcissists have a problem with your boundaries - they don’t like them and revel in trampling them - and there is something supremely transgressive about saying “I love you, I need you in my life, I feel so close to you, I’m an abusive or phony piece of shit.” It’s a powerful debasement of another human being: “Come down and stew in my darkness and evil.”My sample size is not large, but beyond Nosferatu, I have worked closely with two other narcissists, both of whom confessed, in one-on-one conversations, that they were monsters.Whatever the explanation for this tendency in narcissists, do not forget your responsibility to yourself: When someone tells you what they are, believe them, and act on that information. Do not sign the book of the devil.

Usually, they don’t. A person’s ability or inability to recite the alphabet backwards is not a good indicator of sobriety or lack thereof.BUT, some officers may ask a person to recite the alphabet backwards or sing a song or describe something in detail as a way of evaluating the person’s non-verbal cues and demeanor while that person is thinking about something else. Drunk or high or otherwise impaired persons often have trouble focusing on such a task while also standing up straight, standing still, keeping a straight face, etc. These nonverbal cues themselves are often not enough to determine someone isn’t sober, but they can tell an officer whether to go to the trouble of a breathylizer, blood draw, etc. A person’s reaction to the request can also be informative.Why do I think I know this?I acknowledge that I am not a police officer, but about 5 years ago, I participated in the training at our police academy for field sobriety tests. The academy brings in a group of volunteers on two successive friday evenings. Volunteers must come in pairs so that one can drink and one can drive the drinker home. Some of the (sober) academy instructors measure out the liquor, which the volunteers drink, and administer regular breathylizer tests throughout the evening. After a few hours of drinking and playing board games with senior policemen, the volunteers go out to the parking lot and do field sobriety tests for the police cadets.Personally, I had a great time! The Tequila I drank had been confiscated in a liqour smuggling case, and would usually have cost ~$200 a bottle. I also learned that I can be dizzily drunk and still stand on one foot while reciting the alphabet backwards without wobbling or giving any other indications of drunkeness. Apparently an ice skater’s ballance can survive a lot of tequila. They still knew I was drunk because of how my eyes moved when they did a periferal vision test (astigmas?), and a couple of small verbal cues. I also learned that the police threshold for considering me impaired is notably more drunk than the point at which I refuse to drive, which is good to know.

The brain reads words as a whole, rather than by letter. So often, we overlook indivdiual spelling errors (like the word individual above) because we know what word we are expecting to read. I can't recall the exact word for it, but its that process inthe brain that fills information automatically. The same one that lets us see an entire face in a shot even when the hair and chin are cropped out.When we review our own work, the sentences are already in our heads, the words on paper are only verbal cues - in fact we are not even 'reading' those words per se. When a fresh pair of eyes looks at them, however, because the words and sentences are their only source for deriving new information, they are likely to spot the error.If it's a very commonly used expression , however, even they might miss a typo. That, again, is the part of the brain that reconstructs new bits from past experiences. (Like that time you can guess the rest of a line of a song even when you hear it the first time)