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How does one write a high-quality résumé or CV?
the best and easiest way to write your resume is01 Add Numbers to Quantify Your Accomplishments•••Adding numbers to your resume is a great way to show employers what you have accomplished at work. Not all of your achievements will be quantifiable, but many of them can be. Review these tips to find your achievements that can be quantified, along with the best language to use to frame those accomplishments.02 Choose the Best Resume Format•••There are several basic types of resumes used to apply for job openings. Depending on your personal and professional circumstances, choose a chronological, a functional, combination, or a targetedresume. Use the one that's the best fit for your work experience, educational background, and skill set. Take the time to customize your resume - it's well worth the effort.03 Choose a Basic Font•••When writing a resume it's important to use a basic font that is easy to read, both for hiring managers and for applicant management systems. There are several simple fonts that will make your resume clear and easy to read.04 Do This to Get Your Resume Noticed by Employers•••Here are 21 quick and easy-to-do tips will help get your resume past the screening systems companies use and noticed by recruiters. A few simple tweaks can make a big difference.05 Include All (or Most of) Your Contact Information•••It's important to include all your contact information on your resume so employers can easily get in touch with you. In most case, include your full name, street address, city, state, and zip, phone number, and email address. If you have a LinkedIn profile or professional website or blog, include those links as well. There are some circumstances where you might want not want to include your entire mailing address.06 Add a Profile to Your Resume•••If you include an objective on your resume, it's important to tailor it to match the job you are applying for. The more specific you are, the better chance you have of being considered for the job you are interested in or consider using a resume profile or summary, with or without a headline, instead.07 Include Resume Keywords and Skills•••Your resume should include the same keywords that appear in job descriptions. That way, you will increase your chances of your resume matching available positions - and of you being selected for an interview. Also, include keywords in your cover letter because that will be screened to.08 Include These Words on Your Resume•••There are some words that can enhance your resume, and there are others that don't belong on it. Review which words to include, and which to leave out, when you want to impress the hiring manager.09 Jazz Up Your Resume Job Descriptions••• These easy-to-implement tips and tricks will help you make your resume job descriptions sound really impressive, and catch the hiring manager's attention.10 Put Your Most Important and Relevant Accomplishments First•••It's important to prioritize the content of your resume so that your most important and relevant experience is listed first, with key accomplishments listed at the top of each position.11 Write a Custom Resume for Every Job•••It takes more time to write a custom resume that matches your qualifications to the employer's job posting, but, it's worth the effort, especially when applying for jobs that are a perfect match for your qualifications and experience.2 Review Resume Examples•••Before you start work on writing or updating your resume, review resume examples that fit a variety of employment situations. Then select a style and format that best highlights your strengths and achievements13 Use a Resume Template•••Use a resume template as a starting point for creating your own resume. Add your information to the resume template, then tweak and edit it to personalize your resume, so it highlights your skills and abilities.14 Email Your Resume Without a Glitch•••When you're sending an email resume, it's important to follow the employer's instructions on how to submit your cover letter and resume. The employer may want your resume attached to the email message and sent in specific format, typically as a Word document or a PDF.15 Send Your Resume •••When you apply for jobs via email, you may need to send your resume and cover letter as an attachment. It's important to send your cover letter and resume attachments correctly, to include all the information you need so your email message is read, and to let the receiver know how they can contact you to schedule an interview. Here's how to send your resume and cover letter as an attachment.16 More Resume Tips•••Resume tips and advice for writing a perfect resume, plus resume tips for online job applications, choosing a resume writer, and tips for writing resumes and formatting resumes that measure up and secure an interview.
How do I start a business in Delaware?
You can form your Delaware LLC on your own. It’s best to first head over to the state website.In general you can follow these steps.1. Choose a Name for Your Delaware LLCTo get started, choose a unique name for your Delaware LLC. Head over to the Delaware State website and make sure the name you’ve chosen is available. Keep in mind that the business name must contain the term “Limited Liability Company,” either spelled out or in abbreviated form as LLC or L.L.C.The LLC naming can include the following:Any combination of capital and lowercase letters, including an uppercase letter in the body of the name. For example, "AwesomeBuys LLC."Numbers as well as letters. For example, "10 Angels LLC."Any of the following words in their entirety or in an abbreviated form: company, association, club, foundation, fund, institute, society, union, syndicate, limited or trust.Your name or the name of other LLC members.If the name contains any non-English words, a translation must be submitted along with the application for filing the formation.Also, the name you choose cannot contain words that might cause your business to be confused with a government agency (such as the FBI, the CIA, or the State Department).Additional paperwork might be required for the following:If you include words whose meaning is legally restricted such as bank or university.Words the Delaware Secretary of State deems lewd, racist, or objectionable.Your LLC includes a licensed individual such as a professor or doctor.You can reserve a name for 120 days for a fee of $75. Reservations are made on the Delaware Division of Corporations website.2. File a Certificate of FormationThe Certificate of Formation is the document that, once approved, creates your Delaware LLC. You’ll have to file a Certificate of Formation of Limited Liability with the Delaware Division of Corporations. This can be done by mail or in person.In order to file, you must include a cover sheet and a check or credit card number to pay the filing fee. In the cover sheet you also need to provide your information (business name, address, etc.) but don’t fill in the account number field unless you actually have one. You also need to enter the name of the entity and its file number (if you have it), and to choose the type(s) of certificate requests you are filing. Here are instructions on filing a cover sheet.This is a one-time fee of $90, for regular processing. If you want to speed up the process, you can pay the expedited fee of $100 for same-day filing or $50 for 24-hour filing. Consult the schedule of fees for the current filing fees. The approval time is typically one week, but it could take up to three or four weeks depending on whether the State’s office is busy.The Certificate of Formation must include:The name of the LLC.The name and address of the registered agent.The name and signature of a person authorized to form the LLC.If you need further assistance in completing the Certificate of Formation you can read our article on the 6 Steps To Prepare A Certificate of Formation for a Delaware LLC.After you file, the State will send you the LLC approval document that includes a copy of your Certificate of Formation with a receipt.3. Select a Registered AgentIn order to operate in the state, every Delaware LLC must have a registered agent for service of process or the delivery of legal documents, such as lawsuits or subpoenas. A registered agent is an individual or business that consents to accept legal papers on an LLC’s behalf if that LLC faces a lawsuit. Your registered agent must have a physical street address in Delaware, which means that PO boxes are not allowed.Can You Form a Delaware LLC If You Are Out of State?Are you wondering if you can form a company in Delaware even if you live in a different state or country?The answer is yes. An individual doesn’t actually have to live in-state to set up a business in Delaware. The only requirement is that your Delaware LLC must have a registered agent in the state.Please note that if you wish to set up a Delaware LLC, but you are operating in another state (ie. your headquarters is in another state), you’ll most likely need to register your Delaware LLC as a “foreign LLC” in that state. There are additional costs that come with this process. This includes filing a foreign LLC registration and paying the state filing fee. You will then have to make sure that your foreign LLC is in compliance with that state’s law.Still not sure if you are doing business out of state? Find out more here.4. Things to Do After Forming Your Delaware LLCOnce you’ve formed an LLC in Delaware, you should be aware of the maintenance fees associated with operating a business in the state of Delaware.All LLCs, domestic (those registered in Delaware) and foreign (those that are registered in another state, but that provide products and/or services in Delaware), must pay the annual franchise tax, which amounts to $300 annually regardless of your level of income and business activity. This is a requirement to keep your company in compliance.Delaware LLCs do not file annual reports. Instead, LLCs operating in Delaware are required to file an annual tax. Notices are sent to the registered agents every year. We recommend you set a calendar reminder because there is a $200 penalty fee for late and non-payments and 1.5% interest is accrued for every month that tax isn’t paid.You must pay this tax by June 1st of each year. Your first payment is due the calendar year following the year that your LLC was approved. For example, if your LLC was approved on February 5th, 2017 then your first annual franchise tax payment of $300 will be due on June 1st, 2018. You can pay this tax online at the Delaware Division of Corporations.Depending on the industry and business, additional tax and regulatory requirements may apply to your LLC, which may include:EIN: You must obtain an Employer Identification Number (EIN) by completing an online application on the IRS website. There is no filing fee. If you need assistance, you can take a look at our article on the 4 ways to apply for an EIN.Business Licenses: Your LLC may need to obtain other local and state business licenses. The easiest way to get all the necessary authorization is through the Delaware One-Stop Business Licensing and Registration Service.Sales Tax: Delaware does not have state sales tax.Gross Receipts Tax: This refers to the total amount received from the sale of goods or services sold by the business from within Delaware. Depending on your location and who you’re selling to, you may or may not be subject to this tax. For more information, head over to the Delaware Department of Revenue website.Is Forming a Delaware LLC the Right Choice For You?Overall, a Delaware LLC has minimal setup requirements, protects your privacy, simple to run, and is cost-effective.The main highlight is while all LLCs provide liability protection to their business owners, Delaware takes this form of asset protection one step further. The state protects the LLC from the creditors of its members. This means that if a judgement is filed against a member of the company, the creditor cannot acquire any part of the business’s assets. As a result, many startups create an LLC in Delaware to protect their assets from litigation.Other benefits Delaware provides are tax benefits to businesses that do business out of state. These benefits include, but are not limited to:No sales tax, provided the LLC doesn’t do business in the state. This makes it convenient for online businesses to maintain a competitive edge in the ecommerce space because they don’t need to collect taxes from customers.No tax on intangible personal property such as trademark royalties. Therefore, Delaware is an ideal choice for businesses that deal with intellectual property.No taxes on capital shares or stock transfer. This is particularly beneficial to startups that are anticipating venture funding.In conclusion, opening a Delaware LLC is one of the best solutions available if you are seeking to establish a startup with all the above benefits in mind.
What is the hardest thing to adjust to while incarcerated?
I went through adjustments basically in this order:(Formatted for “TL;DR” people to just read the bold points for a summary):Dignity, respect, civility/common courtesy differences. You are immediately treated as totally untrustworthy. Stripped naked, spun around like a spring chicken, lift your genitals, spread your butt cheeks, lose everything you own. The first facility even took my wedding ring away and it took 2 years to finally get approved to have it brought back to me. It is weird to adjust to sometimes having to use the bathroom with someone else a few feet away from you in the same room. Sometimes you are blatantly disrespected and overtly mistreated by staff. Some staff members were very good human beings worthy of great respect, while others really lived up to famous Mark Twain observation: “If you want to see the dregs of society, go down to the jail and watch the changing of the guard.” This highly respected and renowned man didn't tell people to go watch how terrible the prisoners are as the worst things you can possibly find in society. Also, Dostoevsky remarks: “The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.” Quite true. It is a big adjustment to be subject to such incivility when you are used to being treated with respect and courtesy both by people who know you and even by complete strangers.Living in a Bubble - Lack of access to information (especially Google). I was the type of person who referenced Google frequently to look up something or learn. People jokingly called me an encyclopedia and nicknamed me “Sheldon” (ie: from Big Bang Theory) both because I loosely resemble him and because I was really intelligent and educated so they'd come ask questions whenever they wanted to know something (they’d come to me because I was approachable and helpful). I suffered from phantom-vibrate for a long time (the sensation that your phone is vibrating even though it's not actually there). I had literal withdrawals not being able to look things up or even text people or read what I wanted. This was REALLY hard the entire time. This would be among my top reasons for hating prison. I could live with the indignity, rules, etc, but no access to information I wanted drove me crazy the entire time.Temperature Extremes. I know some prisoners have/had it way too hot. I'm jealous. For me, I was always freezing cold, especially at night. They always blew in cold air. In some facilities it was so cold I slept with every single article of clothing and bedding I was allowed and I was still freezing cold. In facilities where I was allowed a coat, I even slept with the coat on! In one facility, I slept in underwear, thermals, sweat pants, prison uniform, sweatshirt, hoody, coat, multiple pairs of socks on my feet, a pair of socks on my hands as gloves, a beanie on my head, towel around my neck like a scarf, eye-mask, bedsheet, 2 blankets (covered over my head too). And in that facility the dorm had a sky vent the guards sometimes left open, so it would sometimes rain or snow on us (our beds and property too) for hours sometimes, so we'd have to wrap up in garbage bags like a sleeping bag sometimes. It was ridiculous, but at least that particular facility let me buy some extra clothes. (For perspective, at home before and after prison my thermostat is kept between 68–72 depending on the day and I sleep in just underwear, so you can imagine the miserable temperatures if I had to bundle up so much there). If we tried to cover the vent, we’d get written up and probably have to do more prison time. Some people did it anyway at night and then would make it a routine to take the cover down during the day when they do cell inspections.Other places wouldn't allow more than 1 uniform, 1 pair underwear, socks, towel, blanket, 1 bed sheet. I used it all, I froze, struggled to sleep and was really, really, really pissed they made it so cold at night everywhere. Everyone says it's better to be cold than hot because you can always put more clothes on to get warm, but that is not true in prison. Most limit how much you can possess. You can't always put on more. After what I suffered, I'd take the heat boxes any day…I can always drink more water and sweat, but life just sucks when you're cold. Temperature extremes at both ends are inhumane. They should legally be required to keep it at a reasonable 70–80 degrees at all times. Still, no matter what the temperature was, you’d always have someone complaining about it one way or another. Even when it was in the 60-degree range there were still guys complaining it was too hot and demanding it be colder.Thin or lumpy “Mattresses”. The mattresses really are terrible. They are either lumpy rocks or very thin foam that does nearly nothing. I only weighed about 150lbs (6ft tall). I'm pretty skinny, but if I rolled into my side at night I'd wake up with bad pains in my shoulder and hip which basically were jammed into the metal or cement the whole time. Sometimes they were bruised. It was really bad, I don't know how heavier people survived. One facility I was in allowed those with preexisting medically documented back problems to pay extra every month to rent a second mattress. I don't know why this wasn't allowed for everyone, I would've done it too, they'd make some money for sure. I had some cellies who hated the mattresses so much they preferred to sleep on the metal or cement bunks or the floor, seriously. People would try to “buy” or “rent” their mattress from them, but guards would often freak out if they didn’t keep it in their own cell where their rack is, so usually they couldn’t profit off it, and would just push it out of the way at night. Consider that for a moment though, the mattresses were so bad that there were guys who preferred sleeping on cement or metal instead.Sleep interruptions - I usually slept pretty deep, and often we could buy earplugs, but sometimes things were ridiculous. Sometimes the problem is disrespectful, loud inmates (usually in Max where someone can be a “cell soldier” (acting tough and doing whatever they want because nobody is ever out at the same time as them to beat them up for it anyway). But many guards were also very disrespectful (sometimes intentionally, sometimes just ignorantly), even in general population housing. They would talk loudly, laugh, joke as they did walkthroughs at night. They'd slam the metal doors between sections. You'd be asleep and suddenly have an insanely bright mag-light shining directly into your eyes as you slept (a lot of people made makeshift eye masks with a sock wrapping around their head to block out this and the cell night lights). If it was cold, which it often was as described above, people often involuntarily and naturally pulled their blankets completely over their heads in their sleep. The guards would then start banging on the metal door and yelling at the person that they have to show skin at all times. Some people got write-ups for not showing skin at night. In dorms, they'd bang metal against the metal bed, walking up the inmate, his bunkmate and others in the dorm…sometimes inmates would even jump out of bed ready to fight (PTSD much?). This was insanely annoying. In some facilities it was hard to ever sleep straight through the night because they didn’t allow eye masks or covering your head or eyes, and would wake you up every single hour with a mag light in your face and extremely loud noises. It really was inhumane. Then some facilities get mad if you try to make up for it by sleeping in the day-time because you’re exhausted from them not letting you get a good night’s sleep (noise, mag-lights, extreme temps). It’s just crazy. Sometimes it was too dangerous to sleep with earplugs because if you don’t hear an announcement like “head-count” or meal or your name being called for something then there can be a serious negative impact.Missing family/friends. Why wasn't this listed first? Of course, this is the biggest, longest-lasting, strongest, and most important one. Consider though, if your spouse goes to the store, or to work, or to the bathroom do you suddenly and instantly have withdrawals that they are gone for 5 minutes? If you do, you have pathological codependence and need help. Of course, I missed my wife and daughter, parents, brothers, friends. I missed them A LOT, and I love them a lot, but it wasn't excruciating immediately, but within a day or so it became increasingly painful. It was especially devastating when we were only allowed visits through a window barrier…in nearly 9 years I got 1 single “contact visit” with my wife and daughter and the rest were all required to be behind glass walls or on a video tablet. That was ridiculous. Missing family/friends was super hard to adjust to, but not within the first few minutes, hours, etc like all the other things, even though this became a hard adjustment soon.Toilet paper adjustments - the toilet paper is absolutely terrible. Super, super, thin, usually 1-ply and very, very uncomfortable (sometimes sand-paper, sometimes so smooth it doesn’t have any friction to wipe anything off)! You have to use a ton just to get the job done (because it hardly even works), and they limit how much you can have. You also have to use a lot to wipe off the toilet every time you use it and before you sit because there’s no seat to lift up, so everyone just pees all over it…so obviously you feel the need to clean/wipe it off, etc. It varies by the facility, but some would give you 3 rolls per week per inmate, and there was one that was only 2 per week. Another gave 2 rolls twice a week. You have to turn in the empty core to get a new roll.Some people were so desperate for toilet paper they would pay people for extra rolls. A guy in one facility paid me 2 stamped envelopes (nearly $2) twice a week for an extra toilet paper roll (so I was making roughly $15/month selling a dude toilet paper he was so desperate for…consider that typical prison jobs paid about $0.40/hr and that’s nearly 40 hours of pay each month = a week’s worth of full-time pay just to give away an extra roll of toilet paper). It covered writing my family every week and having leftover currency to trade people to buy other things I wanted for myself without wasting my own money. I only used 1–2 rolls a week personally, so this was a great deal for me where we got 4 rolls a week. Most places I gave away extra rolls for free, but this guy insisted on paying me for them as insurance (that I wouldn’t give them to someone else instead) and as thanks that my extras would be reserved for him, and it worked out great for both of us.Headcount. My first morning in jail I was in a max/lockdown unit in a cell by myself. I didn't know anything about jail or the routine and had nobody to tell me. I was asleep when suddenly my door popped (a loud click of the door unlocking). Nobody said anything, I had no idea what was going on. I looked out the window and went back to my bed. After a while, a voice yelled at me through the intercom: “HEADCOUNT!” I had no idea what that meant or what this was or what I was supposed to do. I was totally confused and scared I was in trouble and that this would be used against me in my court case for being non-compliant, etc. I felt very stupid and insecure. I went to the door/window and they yelled at me again, I replied that I had no idea what that meant or what I was supposed to do because I'm new and didn't have a cellmate. They calmed down and were a little more empathetic, explaining that headcount meant that they needed to see our faces and count each of us, so every morning they will pop our doors one at a time, we need to come and stand outside our cell until they say okay, then lock ourselves back in our cell so they can pop the next cell open to count them. If we don't do this promptly then we'll get written up. I promptly did as instructed.Headcount was extremely annoying in every facility. Sometimes it interfered with your sleeping routine. So why not change our sleep routine? Well, see the sleep interruptions section above, then another problem is that headcount often wasn’t on a consistent schedule, and each facility did it differently. In addition, some facilities would require you made your bed in some special way. In one, the guards would walk past every bed and flip up the mattresses, and if there was anything at all in or under your bed (paper, anything) you'd get a minor write up. If your sheet didn't show at the top and everything tucked in just right, you got a write-up. Dressed in full uniform in specific ways, etc. Guards in some facilities would start to throw all your stuff around on the dirty floor, sometimes breaking things you paid for, and messing things up, sometimes just to get jollies off of being a jerk because they could.In one facility, in another section, a guard was so frequently purposely disrespectful with inmates’ beds and property like this that a bunch of the inmates made a bunch of shanks with a plan to all jump and stab the bully deputy the next time he walked through to teach the guards to stop being so needlessly blatantly disrespectful. Someone got a kite (note) out to warn the guards, and they rushed the section with flash-bangs, riot gear, etc (it shook the entire facility like an earthquake. I was working as a trustee at the time and my sergeant warned me an hour or two in advance what they were doing and told me to just stay in my office until further notice, she even showed me all the weapons confiscated afterward…they were hidden in holes dug behind bathroom tile). They found the weapons, etc…but in the end, the inmates’ plan got them what they wanted in that the disrespectful guard was disciplined for putting all the other staff members’ lives in danger just to get some jollies off torturing inmates (other guards should’ve also been punished for allowing him to keep acting that way for so long, but you know…blue wall of silence and all that…don’t hold your own accountable until it starts to personally affect you), and he was also banned from that half of the facility for years (should’ve been fired…but you know, unions and all that).To be clear, these “not holding each other accountable and standing up for what’s right” things are NOT prison guard or law enforcement specific issues, it is a natural human being social construct found among nearly every group, including prisoners (don’t snitch), let alone coworkers (everyone hates you if you tell the boss), and even as kids (tattle tell!), politics (TRAITOR! If you ever think for yourself, vote differently, whistle-blow, etc.), or military boot camp (jump and beat up the guy that gets the rest of the troop discipline). So of course people are afraid to stand up and do something. Guards are as human as everyone else and you will find amazing, incredible people there too. Several of the guards I worked closely with as an Inmate Trustee are some of the greatest people I know who I very highly respect and care about. The issues are mentioned here because of the extremes that occur due to a power imbalance of the dynamic of full dependents dependant on full power authority figures having greater potential for more severe abuses when such things do occur in these situations (so prison abuses when they occur are often much more severe than most abuses you typically see at work or other places), but it would be wildly incorrect to assume any of this means most are not good normal people, though psychological “rankism” makes all people try to see “the other group” of people as worse than us in some way to feel better about ourselves, rankism is a very deceptive slippery slope.There were countless ridiculous control issues during some of these headcount bunk inspections in some facilities. Some places would do cell inspections as early as 5:30 am, and some happened as late as 10:30pm while lots of people are sleeping. Still, most places did headcounts around breakfast, sometime in the afternoon, and again after dinner. Some distinguished between headcount and “stand up count”. Some made you show ID, some made you repeat your name and inmate number. Some made you line up by your bunk or cell, some didn’t care where you were, just that hold still (so you could continue playing a card game, or watching TV), some wanted you in your bed, some called out names and had you raise your hand or say here. Some required us to go sit at the tables in the day room. Some just did headcount during meals, sometimes they even made us line up in a specific order to get our trays, such as by name or by bunk order. The only thing they always did in common was to require that they could see skin. In my state they were required to have at least one “stand up count” each day to make sure we were actually alive.Snoring - this wasn't a big deal for me because I sleep deeply, but I list it because it was really hard for a lot of people, especially in a dorm. It was an issue causing a lot of anger and aggression, including throwing things like shoes at the snorer, threats, retaliation, etc. Lots of complaining.Insecurity pit. A lot of people are extremely insecure and deal with it in crazy ways. A lot people try really hard to convince everyone they are tough or cool or do a lot of acting and pretending (posing). There's a lot of false storytelling…I can't count the number of indigent “millionaires” I met in prison who owned a bazillion successful rich businesses making infinite amounts of money for them currently but never had a dime on their commissary account. Lots of people peacocking, strutting around with how hard they supposedly are, though many had never even been in a fight in their life. People think you have to be aggressive in prison, so many act that way. People trying to impress everyone else and trying to be things they aren't because they think they're supposed to, but one on one in a cell with a trusted cellmate, especially in lockdown, some will actually be real for the first time in their entire life. It was amazing to me being cellmates with some of the hardest, toughest gangsters in lockdown and having REAL conversations with these guys. At their core, most of these guys aren’t terrible people. Most people (not just in prison) are working through a life-long battle of cognitive dissonance, figuring out how to resolve conflicting values, prioritize and how to meet their underlying needs and desires (hopefully eventually in positive, healthy ways). You can read some good examples of how I found some of the worst “BAD” guys weren’t as “bad” as I thought they were in my answer here: JR Carver's answer to While in prison, you must have met quite a few “bad guys”. Did they have a bad influence on you in any way?Toxic Masculinity / Misogyny. You always hear all sorts of things about how prisoners hate crimes against women, etc., such as in movies, TV shows, and will even hear former prisoners claim this about prison, but the honest reality is that most prisoners don’t seem to extend any of that beyond rhetoric or repeating it just because the movies or repetition of others say it’s so. Misogyny is unfortunately openly practiced and accepted and represented among ALL racial groups there. The generally accepted culture is very disrespectful about women, talking about them very badly, treating them as objects, lots of disrespect, people treating them terribly, even extremely verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive to them through phone calls, letters, visits, etc., let alone the “war stories” they brag about and tell and the way they talk about women to each other, and abuses they did, enslaving them with drugs, selling them for sex for drugs, or even sell their teenage children for an eight-ball to the dope dealer or gang bangers shooting into homes with kids, there really was little to no empathy for women or children and nobody bats an eye and it’s so normal. I never got used to it. It was one of the most disgusting things in every facility I experienced. People complained nonstop about how terrible and inferior women are, how you can never trust any of them, they’re all the same, making women out to be all these terrible negative things that were the complete opposite of my experience with most women (my positive experience includes my wife for whom I have the utmost respect for, and who is perhaps the best person I’ve ever known in my life!). I can’t even describe to you how toxic and sad the general accepted culture is in there as it relates to women. Again, this is not something everyone participates in (I definitely didn’t, and I mostly chose to hang out with other people who didn’t), but the general accepted pervasive culture is definitely misogynistic.As a related note about prisoners supposedly (but not actually) caring about crimes against women and children, you’ll often hear that sex offenders are attacked or abused in prison as a general rule. That has not been my experience. Between the 8 facilities I experienced long term housing in (not to mention the ones I was temporarily in) in nearly 9 years of incarceration, only 2 of them kept sex offenders separate from other prisoners. The other 6 facilities left everyone mixed together in general population, including all sex offenders with everyone else. Almost never were any sex offenders attacked or abused simply for “being a sex offender.” Most of them made it through their entire prison sentence without any violence or abuse. At worst, some of the weirdest ones would get teased and clowned on a little for being a sex offender, but that was it, and most didn’t ever even get teased or clowned on. The only time they suffered violence was if some other factor was involved somehow and instigated it. For example, if they disrespected someone, or stepped on someone else’s entitlement in some way, or violated cultural norms in some way to upset someone…then the sex offender might get beat up and their charges would be used as an excuse by the attacker to everyone else to justify why the attack/abuse was okay and why nobody else should get involved in any way…because they’re a sex offender, so they deserve it. But the sex offense itself was never a real reason in my experience…something else was always the real reason. >99% of sex offenders, child abusers, woman abusers, cops, etc. made it through prison with no problems if they were simply respectful, minded their own business and used common sense. Seriously, it was that easy and that common for them to never have issues. Perhaps there are some few facilities that are different, or a few individual violent sick predators who just love the excuse to attack people unprovoked and use the person’s charges as an excuse or for attention or thinking they’ll be looked up to or something (maybe the sex offender abused someone they personally knew, and then it is an issue), but you really only need logic and use math skills to know that it is actually very uncommon for sex offenders to actually be hurt for being a sex offender (neither adult rapists nor child molesters). Consider there are roughly 1 million registered sex offenders, and hundreds of thousands of them are still currently incarcerated (not counting all the other crimes against women and children not on a registry, nor all abuses that came from drug dealing criminal sexual payments of women and children that were never prosecuted)…there are not hundreds of thousands of murders or stabbings of sex offenders every year, despite tons of them being housed in general population in many facilities. No, it is rare for a sex offender to be hurt just for being a sex offender (same with a cop just for being a cop). When a sex offender IS hurt, something else completely unrelated to their charge almost always instigated the attack, and the charges were just used as afterthought/excuse (or maybe a detective has problems with people he personally sent to prison…but the normal patrol officer or other law enforcement never had problems anywhere I was at, I was even friends with some). That’s the truth of it. People mostly care about how you act currently not what you did, at least in my jurisdiction.Weird Prison Cultural Norms. Prison is an entirely different culture where everyone’s cultural norms clash and everyone feels entitlement that their norms are better or more important than others’ are, and those of the biggest bullies usually get adopted or added into the mix (read: enforced). There are a lot of normal common sense things, and also tons of weird things, and some that don’t make a lot of sense. I started to make a list of rules a person should know in advance to survive prison culture here: JR Carver's answer to I am set to go to jail for a year in June for assault. What should I do and what should I not do? (Never been to jail in my life I’m only 19) I won’t rehash them all here, but I will address an example of one that surprised me:Growing up, my brothers and friends (all through high school and college) and I used to always joke around and call each other “you little punk” jokingly, especially during competitive games. Fast forward to one day at the beginning of my incarceration before I knew all the cultural rules. I was playing chess with my first celly in lockdown. We’d become good friends (you learn a lot about each other quickly when in 23/1 lockdown). My celly captured one of my chess pieces (a knight) and I didn’t see it coming. I jokingly said to him “Oh man, you little punk!” like I always did with people I was close to. He spazzed out, super angry, red face, trying to breathe and calm down and he explained to me that he knows I don’t know anything at all about prison culture, but in prison “Punk” is someone seen as super weak with no respect and is forced into a sexually submissive role…basically getting raped a lot and nothing they can do about it and can expect to be victimized, looked down on and disrespected their entire time. He said that since nobody heard me say it to him, he forgives me this time, but explained that is one of the few things you’re never allowed to say or be called without expecting violence, not even jokingly. It means completely different things in jail/prison than the non-criminal people I was used to being around. He said if anyone had heard me say that he’d have to severely beat me for it, even though he knew I had no negative intent and was trying to be friendly. It took him a long time to calm down even though nobody else heard it. I half wondered if it was just him…he’d served time in another state, so maybe it was just a thing in that jurisdiction. Come to find out that he was totally telling the truth about prison in general because this was the case in every facility I was housed in. I never made that mistake again, but I saw others who did... The point is that you can even tell someone “F*** YOU!” or any other profane thing (jokingly, frustrated, or whatever) and it can be forgivable, or even expected, but if you use a PBL (Punk, Bitch, Lame), even jokingly, then a fight is basically mandatory at minimum. That’s just insane, but in every facility, that was the case, lots of fights happened involving those 3 words. In a residential drug treatment program I completed in prison, PBL’s were one of the only 3 cardinal rules (the other 2 being no fighting and no tattoos). If you used a PBL under any conditions at all. Even if you accidentally said the word “lame” while reading a verse in the bible out loud, you were likely to be failed and removed with huge disciplinary sanctions and punishments lasting months or a year or more…but you could say “F*** You!” and still finish the program successfully. It was that ridiculously serious a thing.Even now, years after my release, I sometimes hear someone say “that’s lame” or call someone a little “punk” and I have a sort of mini PTSD panic attack with adrenaline and heart-rate shooting through the roof looking for the fight that’s about to break out, have cops swarming in screaming at us, get us all punished and locked down…some of my close loved ones think it’s really funny when people unknowingly use those words. I will tell you this, those words are no joke to criminals on the street or deep drug culture. I have had serious talks with my loved ones about using the words punk or lame, because it could endanger their life if they use it around someone who’s been to prison before or is in criminal or drug culture. Is it a stupid cultural thing? Absolutely! Is your pride worth your life or health or that of your family? Not for me. I never use those words anymore.There are a bunch of other expectation and entitlement issues, but I’ll leave all those in that other answer if you’re curious what rules and expectations people should make sure to know or follow to get through prison safely.Realizing that in many cases, there are many prisoners (not all, of course) who are actually just normal people and often better people than a large amount of the “free” people still in society. Prisoners (current and former) aren’t all evil incarnate like the general perception implies. A lot of prisoners made a mistake, or some have addiction issues (or were struggling with some mental health issues at the time), but at least inside, sober from those individual issues, there exist some of the greatest amazing and good people I've ever known who have my highest respect and admiration despite their mistakes…I couldn’t believe how “normal” and good so many people in there really could be. You’d be surprised at some of the genuine acts of compassion and selfless help I saw regularly. Again, you can read some good examples of how I found even some of the worst “BAD” guys weren’t as “bad” as I thought they were in my answer here: JR Carver's answer to While in prison, you must have met quite a few “bad guys”. Did they have a bad influence on you in any way? To say nothing of the many genuinely good people I met. Granted other people are just plain knuckleheads or infected with toxic masculinity, though it's amazing to see when some of those eventually mature and grow up to be great men, though certainly some never do.Bonus Point: As for how I handled coming back from prison after nearly 9 years in 8 facilities, see: JR Carver's answer to How did your first day released from prison go? What were your priorities, what had you been anxiously looking forward to doing and what did you do?Ever since, it’s been good. I got off parole about 2 years after my release from prison (fully compliant and having 0 violations the whole time), and we had another daughter born a couple of months afterward (13 years after our first daughter). We’re all doing well, just enjoying life together.
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