Motion For Change In Child Support Medical Support Tax: Fill & Download for Free

This is a great question. In the jurisdiction where I practice family law (Utah), the Utah Code tells you exactly what kind of parental income a court considers in determining child support:78B-12-207. Obligation -- Adjusted gross income used.Adjusted gross income shall be used in calculating each parent's share of the base combined child support obligation. Only income of the natural or adoptive parents of the child may be used to determine the award under these guidelines.78B-12-204. Adjusted gross income.(1) As used in this chapter, "adjusted gross income" is the amount calculated by subtracting from gross income alimony previously ordered and paid and child support previously ordered.(2) The guidelines do not reduce the total child support award by adjusting the gross incomes of the parents for alimony ordered in the pending proceeding. In establishing alimony, the court shall consider that in determining the child support, the guidelines do not provide a deduction from gross income for alimony.78B-12-203. Determination of gross income -- Imputed income.(1) As used in the guidelines, "gross income" includes prospective income from any source, including earned and nonearned income sources which may include salaries, wages, commissions, royalties, bonuses, rents, gifts from anyone, prizes, dividends, severance pay, pensions, interest, trust income, alimony from previous marriages, annuities, capital gains, Social Security benefits, workers' compensation benefits, unemployment compensation, income replacement disability insurance benefits, and payments from "nonmeans-tested" government programs.(2) Income from earned income sources is limited to the equivalent of one full-time 40-hour job. If and only if during the time before the original support order, the parent normally and consistently worked more than 40 hours at the parent's job, the court may consider this extra time as a pattern in calculating the parent's ability to provide child support.(3) Notwithstanding Subsection (1), specifically excluded from gross income are:(a) cash assistance provided under Title 35A, Chapter 3, Part 3, Family Employment Program;(b) benefits received under a housing subsidy program, the Job Training Partnership Act, Supplemental Security Income, Social Security Disability Insurance, Medicaid, SNAP benefits, or General Assistance; and(c) other similar means-tested welfare benefits received by a parent.(4)(a) Gross income from self-employment or operation of a business shall be calculated by subtracting necessary expenses required for self-employment or business operation from gross receipts. The income and expenses from self-employment or operation of a business shall be reviewed to determine an appropriate level of gross income available to the parent to satisfy a child support award. Only those expenses necessary to allow the business to operate at a reasonable level may be deducted from gross receipts.(b) Gross income determined under this Subsection (4) may differ from the amount of business income determined for tax purposes.(5)(a) When possible, gross income should first be computed on an annual basis and then recalculated to determine the average gross monthly income.(b) Each parent shall provide verification of current income. Each parent shall provide year-to-date pay stubs or employer statements and complete copies of tax returns from at least the most recent year unless the court finds the verification is not reasonably available. Verification of income from records maintained by the Department of Workforce Services may be substituted for pay stubs, employer statements, and income tax returns.(c) Historical and current earnings shall be used to determine whether an underemployment or overemployment situation exists.(6) Incarceration of at least six months may not be treated as voluntary unemployment by the office in establishing or modifying a support order.(7) Gross income includes income imputed to the parent under Subsection (8).(8)(a) Income may not be imputed to a parent unless the parent stipulates to the amount imputed, the parent defaults, or, in contested cases, a hearing is held and the judge in a judicial proceeding or the presiding officer in an administrative proceeding enters findings of fact as to the evidentiary basis for the imputation.(b) If income is imputed to a parent, the income shall be based upon employment potential and probable earnings considering, to the extent known:(i) employment opportunities;(ii) work history;(iii) occupation qualifications;(iv) educational attainment;(v) literacy;(vi) age;(vii) health;(viii) criminal record;(ix) other employment barriers and background factors; and(x) prevailing earnings and job availability for persons of similar backgrounds in the community.(c) If a parent has no recent work history or a parent's occupation is unknown, that parent may be imputed an income at the federal minimum wage for a 40-hour work week. To impute a greater or lesser income, the judge in a judicial proceeding or the presiding officer in an administrative proceeding shall enter specific findings of fact as to the evidentiary basis for the imputation.(d) Income may not be imputed if any of the following conditions exist and the condition is not of a temporary nature:(i) the reasonable costs of child care for the parents' minor children approach or equal the amount of income the custodial parent can earn;(ii) a parent is physically or mentally unable to earn minimum wage;(iii) a parent is engaged in career or occupational training to establish basic job skills; or(iv) unusual emotional or physical needs of a child require the custodial parent's presence in the home.(9)(a) Gross income may not include the earnings of a minor child who is the subject of a child support award nor benefits to a minor child in the child's own right such as Supplemental Security Income.(b) Social security benefits received by a child due to the earnings of a parent shall be credited as child support to the parent upon whose earning record it is based, by crediting the amount against the potential obligation of that parent. Other unearned income of a child may be considered as income to a parent depending upon the circumstances of each case.78B-12-205. Calculation of obligations.(1) Each parent's child support obligation shall be established in proportion to their adjusted gross incomes, unless the low income table is applicable. Except during periods of court-ordered parent-time as set forth in Section 78B-12-216, the parents are obligated to pay their proportionate shares of the base combined child support obligation. If physical custody of the child changes from that assumed in the original order, modification of the order is not necessary, even if only one parent is specifically ordered to pay in the order.(2) Except in cases of joint physical custody and split custody as defined in Section 78B-12-102 and in cases where the obligor's adjusted gross income is $1,050 or less monthly, the base child support award shall be determined as follows:(a) combine the adjusted gross incomes of the parents and determine the base combined child support obligation using the base combined child support obligation table; and(b) calculate each parent's proportionate share of the base combined child support obligation by multiplying the combined child support obligation by each parent's percentage of combined adjusted gross income.(3) In the case of an incapacitated adult child, any amount that the incapacitated adult child can contribute to the incapacitated adult child's support may be considered in the determination of child support and may be used to justify a reduction in the amount of support ordered, except that in the case of orders involving multiple children, the reduction shall not be greater than the effect of reducing the total number of children by one in the child support table calculation.(4) In cases where the monthly adjusted gross income of either parent is between $650 and $1,050, the base child support award shall be the lesser of the amount calculated in accordance with Subsection (2) and the amount calculated using the low income table. If the income and number of children is found in an area of the low income table in which no amount is shown, the base combined child support obligation table is to be used.(5) The base combined child support obligation table provides combined child support obligations for up to six children. For more than six children, additional amounts may be added to the base child support obligation shown. Unless rebutted by Subsection 78B-12-210(3), the amount ordered may not be less than the amount which would be ordered for up to six children.(6) If the monthly adjusted gross income of either parent is $649 or less, the tribunal shall determine the amount of the child support obligation on a case-by-case basis, but the base child support award may not be less than $30.(7) The amount shown on the table is the support amount for the total number of children, not an amount per child.(8) For all worksheets, income and support award figures shall be rounded to the nearest dollar.78B-12-210. Application of guidelines -- Use of ordered child support.(1) The guidelines in this chapter apply to any judicial or administrative order establishing or modifying an award of child support entered on or after July 1, 1989.(2)(a) The guidelines shall be applied as a rebuttable presumption in establishing or modifying the amount of temporary or permanent child support.(b) The rebuttable presumption means the provisions and considerations required by the guidelines, the award amounts resulting from the application of the guidelines, and the use of worksheets consistent with these guidelines are presumed to be correct, unless rebutted under the provisions of this section.(3) A written finding or specific finding on the record supporting the conclusion that complying with a provision of the guidelines or ordering an award amount resulting from use of the guidelines would be unjust, inappropriate, or not in the best interest of a child in a particular case is sufficient to rebut the presumption in that case. If an order rebuts the presumption through findings, it is considered a deviated order.(4) The following shall be considered deviations from the guidelines, if:(a) the order includes a written finding that it is a deviation from the guidelines;(b) the guidelines worksheet has:(i) the box checked for a deviation; and(ii) an explanation as to the reason; or(c) the deviation is made because there were more children than provided for in the guidelines table.(5) If the amount in the order and the amount on the guidelines worksheet differ by $10 or more:(a) the order is considered deviated; and(b) the incomes listed on the worksheet may not be used in adjusting support for emancipation.(6)(a) Natural or adoptive children of either parent who live in the home of that parent and are not children in common to both parties may at the option of either party be taken into account under the guidelines in setting a child support award, as provided in Subsection (7).(b) Additional worksheets shall be prepared that compute the base child support award of the respective parents for the additional children. The base child support award shall then be subtracted from the appropriate parent's income before determining the award in the instant case.(7) In a proceeding to adjust or modify an existing award, consideration of natural or adoptive children born after entry of the order and who are not in common to both parties may be applied to mitigate an increase in the award but may not be applied:(a) for the benefit of the obligee if the credit would increase the support obligation of the obligor from the most recent order; or(b) for the benefit of the obligor if the amount of support received by the obligee would be decreased from the most recent order.(8)(a) If a child support order has not been issued or modified within the previous three years, a parent, legal guardian, or the office may move the court to adjust the amount of a child support order.(b) Upon receiving a motion under Subsection (8)(a), the court shall, taking into account the best interests of the child:(i) determine whether there is a difference between the payor's ordered support amount and the payor's support amount that would be required under the guidelines; and(ii) if there is a difference as described in Subsection (8)(b)(i), adjust the payor's ordered support amount to the payor's support amount provided in the guidelines if:(A) the difference is 10% or more;(B) the difference is not of a temporary nature; and(C) the order adjusting the payor's ordered support amount does not deviate from the guidelines.(c) A showing of a substantial change in circumstances is not necessary for an adjustment under this Subsection (8).(9)(a) A parent, legal guardian, or the office may at any time petition the court to adjust the amount of a child support order if there has been a substantial change in circumstances. A change in the base combined child support obligation table set forth in Section 78B-12-301 is not a substantial change in circumstances for the purposes of this Subsection (9).(b) For purposes of this Subsection (9), a substantial change in circumstances may include:(i) material changes in custody;(ii) material changes in the relative wealth or assets of the parties;(iii) material changes of 30% or more in the income of a parent;(iv) material changes in the employment potential and ability of a parent to earn;(v) material changes in the medical needs of the child; or(vi) material changes in the legal responsibilities of either parent for the support of others.(c) Upon receiving a petition under Subsection (9)(a), the court shall, taking into account the best interests of the child:(i) determine whether a substantial change has occurred;(ii) if a substantial change has occurred, determine whether the change results in a difference of 15% or more between the payor's ordered support amount and the payor's support amount that would be required under the guidelines; and(iii) adjust the payor's ordered support amount to that which is provided for in the guidelines if:(A) there is a difference of 15% or more; and(B) the difference is not of a temporary nature.(10) Notice of the opportunity to adjust a support order under Subsections (8) and (9) shall be included in each child support order.

“This time I did what you said and followed the bubbles!”My step child, Anna, was about 5 or 6 when Mommy first tried to drown her. ‘Accidentally’.It went like this - she still couldn’t swim so Mommy, during her weekly visits, would take her to a friend’s pool and make her go in without a floaty or leave her on a lilo without a floaty. Then Mommy would watch from the side. Sooner or later Anna would be in trouble and go under.Mommy would rush over and pull her out and be a hero. Each time, Mommy would take longer and longer, according to Anna, who, one time remarked on how long Mommy watched her, still underwater, just staring at her, not moving as Anna fought for her life. Eventually she reached down and pulled her out.We are not allowed to criticize Mommy in front of Anna. Judges make rules like that to prevent parental alienation, and I expect those rules work well most of the time, with people of good will - but what do you do when you have a toe-rag for an ex?My work-around was to teach Anna to let a little air out underwater, then open her eyes if they were closed and swim after the bubbles. Swim as hard as you can, I told her. I told her if, one day, she really couldn’t make it to the surface she was to look for the light that would come for her. Then I went away and I cried and I cried.That is not something I ever thought I’d be saying to a child.I drilled it into her that no matter what anyone says you REFUSE to get into anyone’s car without a child seat (Mommy drives like a lunatic) and you REFUSE to get into anyone’s pool without a floaty.This is harder since Mommy told her ‘You don’t have to listen to what your Stepmother says’. Yeah, accidentally caught on video, that little nugget was.. Stepmoms are to be ignored and teachers are stupid, she has been told. The more problems she has, the more likely to be removed from our custody, Mommy thinks.Mommy ‘promised to rescue her if anything happens in the pool’ though and what child can refuse a pool? How is a child to know one person is trying to save her life and the other one has Munchausen’s by Proxy? How am I supposed to keep the kid alive without ‘alientating’ her from this mother who seems to think no further ahead than how much attention and sympathy she will get at the poor child’s funeral, and how this ‘accidental death’ will destroy her father?You should have seen her little face, bursting with love and pride about how Mommy had saved her. Then seen it the next time after Mommy left her completely unnattended except for some bully kid who pushed her in. By the third attempt she was bursting with pride at having saved her own life, which is a result, I suppose. Not the pool party we would want for her, but not the one Mommy planned either.For some odd reason our lawyer has never mentioned these incidents to a judge. I suspect once either child testifies, as the eldest has been begging to do since he was 9 she will lose all parental rights (the eldest is alternately outraged and depressed at being refused by our lawyer. He is 16 now. All he ever wanted was to tell a judge about his awful mother. He feels abandonned and betrayed by a society he increasing feels less a part of).According to the children’s lawyer, the GAL (Court appointed children’s lawyer that I paid for) I’m ‘just the stepmom’. I’m allowed to cook and clean and pay the bills and I’m allowed to watch as someone tries to kill my whole family, but I don’t get decision making power over so much as a hairstyle. (The youngest was devastated by one botched amateur haircut and another time mommy crept in as she was sleeping and just cut a huge chunk off right from the top of her head, then called Child Protection and claimed I’d burned it off with lice treatment, when you could SEE THE SCISSOR MARKS GOING THROUGH IT.)Another time the eldest went on his visitation as a natural blond and came back a patchy cerulean blue, which he liked very much, but he liked it better when I stripped it out, did the pre bleaching properly, then dyed it a nice even blue, in time for his next visitation. As in, if he’s going to come home looking like an office desk ornament, he’ll be looking like a quality one on my watch :). The time after, I sent him there with the most gorgeous rainbow, each color blended to perfection into the other, and that was the end of the hair dyeing by Mommy.But, officially, I am to put up, shut up and pay up. I am “not their friend, not their counsellor, not their parent” the GAL said. I “get no say whatsoever”. I can take in homeless children and care for them as I see fit, but not these children. I am to stand by as they are abused in a way I wouldn’t have to if these were neighbor kids. The Guardian Ad Litem woman was so awful we moved house. I couldn’t stomach being in it after she’d been there going through everything, judging me on my admittedly inexperienced housekeeping skills. That was the first and only thing me and Mommy ever agreed on - this woman was awful. She damn near destroyed my home, family and marriage - and she was on our side, in the end. There is a Special Hell for women who make a good living going into the homes of other women and telling them they have to pay through the nose to make a human doormat of themselves and another Special Hell right next to it for the husbands who don’t see what the Big Deal is.The sum total of my rights is I get to be told, by an appointee of the court and thus of the state, that I am to work as a free skivvy, obey my husband in every particular, watch my family be denied their right to life and audience before a judge, and - rather than getting paid for this - I am to pay for the privilege? Whether I pay the GAL directly or pay hubby’s mortgage while he pays her I smell taxation without representation here.Yeah.. no. I am not going raise a female child whose primary role model is a human doormat. It’s psychological and aspirational suffocation and just as bad as trying to drown her.I even paid $7k for the eldest’s transgender surgery myself. The GAL would have had a hissy fit. What am I supposed to do? Watch as the poor kid goes through life like a bad drag act, giveaway feminine hips getting wider every week? Would I have let that happen to a neighbor kid? No.Hubby didn’t have the money, health insurance always wriggles out of it for trans treatment and we couldn’t ask Mommy to come up with her share because being asked to pay would likely send her over the edge into another murderous psychotic rage.Child protection know all about Mommy too but they never do anything other than tell her to quit wasting their time. She’s always sending them and the police here on one bogus call after another. They know plenty, but until she kills one of them or leaves physical bruises it seems there is little they can do. Abuse of process isn’t under their purview.Among other highlights.. Mommy was caught on video trying to run hubby down in his own garage and lied to a doctor to get a prescription for Respiridone then mixed an overdose with apple sauce then chased him round and forced it down the throat of our eldest. It could have killed the child or left him drooling, twitching and lip-smacking with Tardive Dyskinesia for the next 70 years. He’s a beautiful child, to disable him in such a horrific fashion is beyond unconscionable. Of course, you’d need a conscience to realize that.She used to park her car outside Granny’s house in Oklahoma and watch and watch. When she smashed Granny in the back with her fist after surgery, a terrified Granny came to live with us, too scared to be left behind when we moved to Georgia.Thanks for that, Mommy.There I am a brand new bride of two or three months - never had to run a household before and the next thing I know I’m told the GODDAMNED MOTHER-IN-LAW IS MOVING IN. With all her gigantic fake antique brown furniture in our tiny house, her full volume America’s Fattest Dumbest Model Housewives she was happy to expose the children (indeed, the whole block) to, her junk food demands at 10pm and her thirty - yes, thirty - I counted, plastic Santas.I have a five year old screaming “Mommy says I don’t need to listen to you” all day, a nine year old with a surprisingly lasting hatred of me for pointing out he needs nutrition and education, I’m living in a fake brown antique nightmare, under house arrest (with no car) in a brand new country WHERE I KNOW NOBODY and a hubby who thinks I’ll be just fine once I get to bond with the other housewives over a shared love of polishing, or something.I grew hydroponic tomatoes mostly so I’d have something to talk to.We’d moved after Mommy cost hubby his job by being variously early/late/no show with returning the children, when he got another job and we moved away from Tulsa to Roswell, GA, we had a few months without Stalker Mommy then she followed us and now lives 5 minutes away - and works at a local private school, which just goes to show how much background checking goes into their hiring process. Her mugshot from the time the judge told her not to even think of getting our utilities cut off and she went straight from the courthouse and did exactly that - the mugshot from that should have shown up in a simple Google search.Of course a judge should have known better than to tell a sociopath to not do something they hadn’t thought of. It puts ideas into their head. Except how was he to know she was a sociopath? He didn’t order her to be evaluated. When I asked the lawyer about it, he pointed out we were having enough trouble paying his bill, let alone funding Mommy’s mental health treatment.The very first time I ever clapped eyes on the woman was a security camera video of Hubby-to-be’s house. She delivers the children to the front door and on her way back to the car she takes time to pause on the garden path and casually rip three or four plants up from the ground, drops them, leaves them where they fall, and continues on her way.She sent Narcotics after my hydroponic tomatoes too, and I must say I felt a little sorry for the officers who, having likely expected an exciting marijuana farm and possibly crack den found nothing but Anna, and Granny in her dressing gown and slippers. Plus some tomatoes. To be fair, I was apparently the only person on the hydroponics forum who really was growing tomatoes. (I get that impression by the fact I didn’t feel the need to put the word ‘tomatoes’ in quotes) but Mommy had gotten the eldest to photograph my plant room “Oh, your Stepmom likes plants, does she? Can you get me some photographs? The closer up the better”. The nine year old child, delighted to be the means for his Stepmom and Mommy to bond at last, complied. Then Mommy, who presumably thinks she can credibly claim she doesn’t know a cannabis leaf from a tomato leaf, called it in to Narcotics, anonymously, then admitted doing so in court. Nothing happened to her, not even an order for costs. We were raided by armed police, with all the risk that necessarily entails and what happens to her? Zilch, nada, nothing, niento.One day hubby came home to find her taking a shower in his bathroom.She pushed our eldest in through Daddy’s doggy door to burgle the house when he was 9 (eldest passed out only stuff known to be broken ‘so Mommy’s car was so full she couldn’t steal our doggies like she wanted to’). Smart child. He thought he would go to jail for stealing, and still he had the good sense to fill Mommy’s car with so much trash there was no room for the dogs. She just couldn’t resist the endless stream of hubby’s pilfered junk the eldest passed through the doggy door.Who goes round to someone’s house to steal their doggies and DOESN’T EVEN PUT THEM AT THE TOP OF THE LIST?? A living creature, even in the midst of your latest crime, should not be an afterthought, you witless dufus.The judge did have a few words to say about that one even though it wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever done (likely wasn’t even the worst thing she’d done that day). He said “short of crack-addicted mothers you are the worst mother I’ve ever encountered in my courtroom”. Personally, I wouldn’t be so quick to rule out the crack but she did get into trouble for ‘contributing to the delinquency of a minor’ which I feel is a sad reflection on the minor here who showed a moral sophistication, by, in his mind, risking jail to save the dogs - a level of interpersonal ethical development well beyond that attained by his supposed mother. He could have run and hidden at a neighbors and called the police, but he knew Mommy would find a way into the yard - he risked his freedom because, he said, ‘I knew how upset you and Daddy would be to lose the doggies’. Who Mommy ‘used to kick anyway when Daddy was at work’.You can frequently spot the morally challenged by how they treat animals. I told the kids repeatedly not to accept any new pets Mommy offers. But they’re kids. Its a losing battle.From the male chick belonging to the eldest that was ‘sent off to a farm to learn to lay eggs’, to the hen belonging to the youngest who was ripped apart in front of her eyes when Mommy let the dog out ‘accidentally’, to the dog we think she gave away (it wasn’t listed on a single missing pets website) then had the youngest making ‘lost dog’ posters for, to the rabbit and guinea pig she texted to say she’d abandoned in sub freezing temperatures one November in Tulsa so we had to rescue them off her front porch at a moment’s notice (“Daddy took all my money so I can’t afford the pets” she told the children about it after she lost another round in court, and no, Daddy didn’t get any money - the judge simply failed to award her the children and child support she’d counted on when she invested in the pets).She gets the pets to encourage the children to tell counsellors they ‘want to live with Mommy’ - then she disposes of them as soon as a judge rules against her. Always. They are disposable props in the disaster movie that passes for her life, just like the rest of us are.When we tell the children ‘no more pets at Mommy’s please’ yet can’t tell them why, who do you suppose looks like the bad guys? When one party is a predator, this not being able to explain things drives a wedge between us and the children and puts the mental and physical wellbeing of the children at serious, increased, unneccessary risk - because we cannot alert them to this threat or any other. Wouldn’t you think you had a right to know about a serious threat to your life, so, like, maybe you could manage a little extra vigilance? I’m no expert, but I thought a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness was in your constitution. Not if you are a child, seemingly. The constitution doesn’t apply to you. Children are, perhaps, the last of the disenfranchised. I did get the eldest a car escape kit though, with a thing to cut seatbelts and a hammer to break car windows. Told him to keep it with him during car rides while with Mommy.And then there is the endless stream of well-meaning professionals who think all we need to do is sit around with Mommy and have a nice cosy little chat.Then we all group hug while Daddy reads aloud from the House at Pooh Corner, or whatever your cultural equivalent is - Little House on the Prairie maybe? and we realise that what we thought were enemies were really friends in disguise all along.. Yeah..That idea tends to last until she puts the well-meaning professional on her stalking list too.Balance bias. I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten more counsellors killed.What, you think she gets less dangerous because you have a certificate??Are you planning to fend her off with it and hope she bleeds out from a paper cut? And, we are PAYING WITH OUR SAFETY and our money for your education. You think she won’t be alert for every last detail she can plausibly or implausibly spin into a tale of woe then its police, CPS and another 5k in court to fend off her crap again, with the counsellor in the middle of it this time and me, muggins here, paying for the counsellor (and the lawyer the counsellor has to engage to fend off Mommy’s attempts to get the privileged private information the eldest child - who is now, and quite reasonably, refusing all counselling - wrongly thought was sacrosanct)?So my child is denied his right of audience, denied even a counsellor, not supposed to confide in me - and if Mommy gets her way - will be driven to suicide in a body he finds monstrous because the meal ticket she tricked into marrying her deserted her when he realized she was destroying his kids.Enough already. What does it take? We are not your Disney movie. We are not in Kansas any more and I’m sick to the back teeth of fending off her flying goddamned monkies!The long and the short of it is - we are under no legal obligation to so arrange our affairs as to hand a narcissistic sociopath the longest possible knife to stick in our backs.Yes, I did just misquote Lord Hailsham. And the fact I’ve had to do so might mean its time for me to start picking the lawyers.We’ll invite her into a group therapy session after we see you accept an invitation to a cookout from Jeffrey Dalmer.I understand there is no public provision for the incurably mentally ill in the US. I understand it very well. To the tune of $130k and counting, we understand it. She’ll never get to see a doctor who could help or or at least reign her in a bit. And I’m beginning to realise it’s not the right to bear arms that causes mass shootings, its thinking public mental health provision is only for those Commie Pinko Lefties in Europe. That and the Prozac the shooters invariably turn out to be on anyway.$130k with no order for costs and no end to the torture in sight, it costs HER a lot less however - if all the lawyers she previously stiffed are anything to go by. I’ll tell you how bad it was - when the eldest belatedly came to me and said he was transgender and asked if I would break the news to his father - my first thought wasn’t ‘oh poor kid, that’s going to be a tough road’ but ‘OMG she is going to bankrupt us now’.Its corrupting, its all-pervading, its neverending. Never. Ever. Ever. I haven’t got a husband. I’ve got an ex-wife I never even married and HER husband, barely.Our eldest delayed for years telling me he was transgender, fully KNOWING his body was changing irreparably because he’d done his research (its important to stop puberty and do it FAST if there is to be any hope of a totally convincing result) the eldest knew what I knew - Mommy would round up religious nutters and hate groups, give them the Poor Me, land us back in court and try forcing the eldest to live in a body he hates till he kills himself, and bankrupt us in the process. Because she can. The children’s college funds are long gone. All their joy, all their potential, sucked dry, and our child’s transition forever rendered incomplete.She talks a good game, but her lawyers frequently make one court appearance, realize they were lied to, dump her, she finds another, she starts again. 7 years of this. She’s on her 19th or 20th lawyer now. We are on our second. Which might, now I think on it, be a mistake.Our first lawyer was newly qualified and chosen by hubby. He kept putting off and putting off asking for attorney’s fees from Mommy. (Being awarded attorney’s fees in a divorce is unusual, but Mommy had been so flagrantly abusing process and creating havoc that the attorney said he was sure hubby would get them). Then he made a mistake in his instruction to hubby when it came to splitting assets. I said it was a mistake as I was in court at the time and I have a near ‘eidetic’ memory for spoken words. The judge made a mistake in his calculations then corrected himself and the previous order said hubby could cash in a fund for expenses too. Then the judge forgot and thought hubby acted in bad faith when his lawyer, who was confused by all this, told him to do so to pay his legal bill.End result judge made no award for costs as he thought hubby had acted in bad faith. I had to watch all this. I saw it coming after the judge started contradicting himself, said so, was overruled by hubby and the lawyer who both told me to stay out of it.Hubby followed the lawyers advice to not challenge the judge for fear of upsetting him, not my advice to politely point out the oversight. It cost hubby over $100k of money he didn’t have and has been looking at me for.Thankfully, during the newby lawyer’s next blunder, hubby was ill in bed and couldn’t speak.There IS a god.He had no choice but to deal with me. The lawyer rang up and told me to tell hubby we were in trouble. Mommy’s lawyer was after hubby’s pension, they had forgotten to split it like the judge had ordered and could I ask hubby to send $50k right now please.I told him hubby was ill but, if he would kindly recall, she’d gotten all the mutual funds in lieu, plus he’d paid her massive credit card debts so they could all kiss my Particulars.Yeah, they’d split the assets in two, she’d gotten a new lawyer, lied, come after half the rest, and our own lawyer would have had hubby on the hook for it.Fair or unfair, she sees potential, she’s on it. In fact, I’m beginning to wish Mommy WAS our lawyer. Either I’ve got Stockholm Syndrome, or Mommy missed her calling there.This is who she just set on us.. ‘The American College of Pediatricians”.Sound OK, don’t they?Well… not so much. Type that name into Google and before you click on a single result Google warns us that..“The American College of Pediatricians Is an Anti-LGBT Group. ... A small anti-LGBT group called the “American College of Pediatricians (ACP)” created a name that is easily confused with the AAP, the largest pediatrics organization in the country. May 8, 2017”There is no way her initial Googling didn’t find out this was just some Electrocute the Gay Away scam. The guy in charge isn’t even a neurologist or psychiatrist - he’s an endocrinologist!God give me strength. Even I knew, before the trans thing ever came up, that trans brains respond to adult images the exact same way as the experienced gender, not the biological gender do, because I am scientifically literate, that’s why. How can someone purporting to cure the gay away not know this? Maybe because they studied endocrinology and the bible, not neuroscience and the DSM-VI?This is Georgia, Mommy’s thinking. It took the supreme court to tell them not to put ‘evolution is only a theory’ stickers on the science textbooks. This pseudo-scientific claptrap might actually get a hearing in Georgia, she thinks. At guess who’s expense, again?The trans thing had Mommy really busy. She had Child Protection take the youngest out of class to be questioned about us ‘forcing the eldest to live as a boy’. The youngest said ‘no he wants to be a boy’ of course, pretty much like they must have expected, but what the heck - why not throw public money after ours. Never costs Mommy anything.What we have, is, I think, a malignant Narcissistic Sociopath with Munchausen’s by Proxy. But it’s hard to be sure as no court I know of ever ordered her to be evaluated, and even if they do in future it’ll be me footing the bill and I’m NOT EVEN AMERICAN. I’m British, and here I am still subsidizing the colonies 250 years after they supposedly declared independence.I found hubby a $19k tax refund his accountant missed after he became unemployed, I pay for phones, trash collection, house maintenance and vacations and hand over large sums from my life savings from time to time for the mortgage. My savings from when I had a life, that is - and my name isn’t on the deeds to the house. I even homeschooled the eldest for two years after he slid further and further behind at school and all he does is grump because I work instead of playing homemaker.It has to be said the eldest isn’t going through his ‘grateful’ phase right now though. The GAL isn’t the only one thinks I should be a cross between Wilma Flintstone and Scarlett O’Hara (I am thinking the testosterone treatment might need dialling back a little). He was furious when I made him give up his all-sugar diet and when I found out that, at 9, he couldn’t add 2+3 and I taught him math and let it be known ‘slacker’ isn’t a career option “but I PREFER not to learn stuff” he’d say (this is what happens when you don’t set limits on your kids) like he was stating a color preference. So, not going to win any popularity contests there, even though now, he’s on track to enter Georgia Tech and he’s throwing hints out about what kind of car he’d like.Still, you don’t do it for the gratitude do you?At 6 years old though, the youngests’ teachers sent a letter recommending remedial reading class. Three days later I emailed a video of her reading fluently like a 9 year old. Her astonished teacher asked me at a parent meeting how that happened. (“Wait till she’s hungry, get a big pile of jelly beans, give her a bean for every three new words learned.”)At least she was grateful and soon discovered a real love of books and learning. Once a child finds a love for learning, not the worst parent in the world can hold them back.Anyway, Mommy is not the biggest lunatic I have encountered - having fought off Mark Dixie with my bare hands while being a single female living in London, but she is the most dangerous - AS WE CANNOT SIMPLY FLEE. If we want to move, we have to ask a judge, then it all starts up again. Then starts up again in the next state when she follows us and never an order for attorney fees. Never. The kids have us pinned like butterflies unless she loses all parental rights and so she stalks us by proxy.She is free to take swipe after swipe at us. No consequences of note befall her ever. She’s that most piteous of sights - a childless mother, literally reduced to threatening her children till they grin like maniacs on the forced photos she posts to Facebook, and that’s her life right there in a nutshell. Validate her delusions, or else!Each bogus motion costs an average of $5k to get dismissed. My husband was laid off after his employer closed a whole division and after a year got a new job paying much less. So, we cannot escape and I am not inclined to pay for one more ‘victory’ and I think she WILL kill us if we ask for her to lose parental rights.Running over hubby, drowning the youngest, forcing the eldest to endure the wrong body knowing the suicide statistics on that, overdosing him. As for me - Immigration didn’t want to throw me out - yeah, she called them too. Narcotics didn’t want to arrest me for tomatoes. Child protection aren’t interested. She’ll have to break in again. Maybe stage a robbery gone wrong. I dread that scenario. Hubby is the sort, who, upon hearing a mysterious noise in the night is up and charging around switching lights on willy-nilly confident his good nature will protect him - that is - presenting the BROADEST POSSIBLE TARGET HE CAN, so I’m sort of on my own with this. I’m the sort who switches the lights OFF when I think there might be a predator about.One time during one of Mommy’s more active stalking periods, we heard a noise outside. I switched the lights off, told hubby to secure the house and stay there, then, heart in my mouth, went alone, silently into the darkness outside to see what was there. I crept up to the shadow of the car, waited to see what would happen next and held my breath. What happened next was some godawfull SCREECHING WAIL and LIGHTS FLASHING in my eyes and I’m stood there IN THESE TWO GLARING HEADLIGHTS - night vision ruined and lit up like a christmas tree!!!People in passing planes would have had no trouble whatsoever locating me, should they be curious as to what that COLLOSSAL DIN might be about.Hubby, bless his innocent little heart, had thought around then might be a very nice time to set off the car to see if he could scare off whatever was lurking outside - so we had a little Discussion about our Differing Philosophies on Security (well, OK, I ripped him a new one), a discussion still ongoing, as it happens, but there is a reason I went out there instead of him (hey I can’t be Feminist only when it suits me). One, the children will survive without me. Without HIM they are back with Mommy. Two - I have a reasonable chance of coming back alive if someone is out there intending to kill us. He hasn’t. He came from a cozy home to university to job to suburb. He doesn’t have the life skills. This is his very first experience with a stalking predator. I spent several decades as an attractive female insomniac living alone in the center of London. Its not even my 7th. I’m still here.Is my life really worth more than a man’s life? Is it less of a tragedy if hubby dies instead of me? If I die its a tragedy. If HE dies its a tragedy and an effing DISASTER.I despair, I really do though. I am hard pressed to envisage a scenario whereby an armed ex-wife sneaks in and we don’t mostly end up dead because not only will I have to get the kids out and deal with her, I’ll have a husband with no tactical wherewithall whatsoever blundering around making targets of the lot of us :(Not much to look forward to, is it? I used to have horizons, dreams.. now all I can hope for is to take an honor guard to hell with me.We try to give the kids as normal of an existence as we can. The only unusual aspects, I would say, is the care I have taken to teach each child self defence and situational awareness.[Update April 2018]I recently discovered my liver enzymes, GGT and Alkaline Phosphatase have been gradually climbing for four years. No virus or cancer can be found. No autoimmunity markers, no heavy metals. I’m not taking any herbs or medication and still they climb and climb. The Liver transplant doctors at Piedmont are puzzled even after my biopsy. Today it occurred to me to consider the possibility of a non-accidental toxin exposure, but I can’t imagine how it is being administered and I can’t exactly ask the youngest ‘did Mommy give you special vitamins to put in my milk?’[Update July 2018]The brand new Guardian ad Litem just asked Hubby about why Mommy wasn’t included in the transgender counselling sessions with the eldest’s doctor. <Sigh..>Thank you everyone, especially Gabriel, whose comment meant the world to me! I too am on the spectrum. Our friends have links to this post and we shall share Google Drive links to the supporting evidence, in case the worst should happen.She’ll get away with it though. She generally does. However, this entire post will then have its own website and real names will be used for everyone mentioned.[Update August 2018]The new GAL is a distinct improvement over the old one. Didn’t even ask me about housework. Perhaps there is hope.[Update August 10 2018]It IS the milk. I’m the only one in the house drinks lactose free. I’ve been throwing up after drinking tea these past few days. I took a good whiff of the half full milk carton. It smelled very faintly floral. I asked a friend, Nick, who has a really good sense of smell and he said it was soap. There was a residue of it running down the outside of the carton. I left a message for my liver doc to see about getting it analyzed. I can see no mechanism whereby soap elevates liver enzymes, but this has been going on for four years. Maybe it wasn’t always soap.

The single factor that would change my life, my happiness, my career , the amount of money I make, the friends I have, and the car i drive is this :That the world we live is not what you think it is and it is designed to keep you very encouraged but ultimately make you fail.Once I understood that my entire life changed in an instant / a flash and I woke up the next day a completely different person.Let me give you examples :High School was not designed as much to teach you but to accumulate those that will fail miserably and weed them out slowly, prepping most with encouragement to go thru the motions of getting into college thank full that they made it in , but to know end..High School Sports was not designed to create world class athletes but designed to weed out the weak and break those that were strong, and leave the rest to luck.College was not designed to prepare you for a job but designed to keep you encouraged in the hope of getting one. That encouragement can keep you in there for a very very long time as you become a Doctor of art.Getting a Motorcycle license is not designed to create a brilliant rider but to make sure that a certain number of people will fail.Tax forms were not there to help you , but designed to confuse you so you would have to seek help and therefore provide full disc closure to the goverment.Doctors are not here to cure you but to always be there to put a bandage on with medication and rehab.Resumes are not designed to show your worth , they are designed to give the employer reason to not hire you or even choose you for an interview.Look before I became a world class combat expert , I was a child 8 years old taking Tae Kwon Do and I needed to learn how to fight.I remember thinking as I was a blue belt and what belt will I really learn how to fight, and than I was a brown belt and I thought this might be it , this is where they are going to teach me how to confront and negotiate fear.However that was not the case, and when I started testing as a black belt at 11 years of age I thought this is it, this is the grail , the only place in the world that when you get here you learn the secret of how to fight.I was so wrong and all those years of agony , trust and commitment not just from me but my parents was a farce and so at an early age I was very aware that the world was designed to endlessly encourage you but to ultimately make you fail.At 12 years old I saw the world in a different light.That Motorcycle I am buying at 16 that can go 160 mph designed to make me fail, so be damn careful with that temptation and try not to kill yourself as I did.That Hotrod mustang I got for my 16 th birthday, its obvious my dad was jealous of me and so he wanted me to fail. Dad setting me up to fail, is a JOKE.The drugs going around school that might get me laid with a stoner chick, definitely designed to make me fail, stay far away at all costs.That hot prostitute on the corner always waving at me on friday night , filled with disease , for sure to make me fail.Not getting out of High School , that would be a failure.Getting drunk so I puke over everyone , total failure, total DUI,, total loss of respect from my parents and friends and possibly kill someone by accident , nope going to pass on that one as some kids already dead at school.Despite everything I knew I still landed myself into some traps, lucky for me I got out of them , but they were always setbacks nothing serious but stupid..But once you realize the design of the world , than you have more patience, your cautious and you know exactly what it takes to get what you want and need.When my $2000 drone flew away after having it for 3 days I had to write to the company to see if they would replace it under warranty.I was way ahead of the game knowing that the entire refund process is going to be rigged with traps designed to make me fail and give up, and so the process began:7 phone calls to china , always trying to speak with the same customer support team, 21 emails back and fourth with a 2 day wait for each response, and providing them with video of where I was flying, how high, how fast, and what electrical components I was flying by and 45 days latter , i got a % 100 percent coupon for a brand new DJI Phantom 4 Pro drone.Could not have done it without the 12 year old child having the flash to what the world was really is about and than mastering of a new set of skills needed to get past all of it..My hope is that everyone who reads this gets the flash or awakening as i did and it changes every single element in your life.Than just make a list of how many things are designed to make you fail in your life , the one you live in.any substance abuse, no brainer.bar at the cornercar that goes over the speed limitMotorcycle that is designed for incredible speed and tricks.College , and the encouragement that never endsWindows computer - A pile of shit that can turn blue or get a virus at anytime.Resumes, - Tiny shit form that barely give you room to print in very tiny print, what a joke ,Math class, the ony ones they care about are those that are math prodigy, as for the rest , what a complete waste of time .Casinos, relying on luck is ground for failure , sometimes big failuresFriends who are always victims, they can take you down all to easy.The list is never ending but knowing that the world wants you dead, and that it is designed to make you fail and to do with lots of encouragement can change your life.Now you can provide a gentle smile, a nod of your head, as you start to find all the ways you are tested and once you really get it, its hard to fail anymore and the decisions you make will be better than before and challenges that before seemed so painful and agonizing will be doable.That is the change I wish for you.