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I was really young and naive when I met and married Prince Charming. I was 19 and in college and Prince Charming was 29 and still living at home with his parents (Red Flag #1).I should have known there was something wrong when he waited until the last minute to tell his parents we were getting married (Red Flag #2).Sadly, I still married him - even after I found out that he had a weird obsession with his mother (Red Flag #3).And I stayed married to him even after:him not paying the bills,calling his mom five times a day,telling me my family was trash,forcing us to move back in with his parents (3 times in 7 years),pushing me into a closest when I was 9 months pregnant,and telling me that he really wanted to sleep with my cousin.Even his parents thought I was trash because I came from a Working Class family. But I was going to stay married no matter what - because I didn't believe in divorce. Well, apparently I was the only one who thought that way. Even after he told me over and over divorce was not an option to him. (Yeah, he was really good at lying.)After my mother was killed in a car accident, the emotional abuse and gaslighting got worse. I felt like I was I was going crazy and had lost the only person I could turn to. I couldn't take care of my daughters. I was severely depressed and had turned to pills to numb the pain. It got to the point where I couldn't work or go to school because of mental and physical health reasons. I was totally dependent on his income.Well surprise! He wrote bad checks and had got our bank account closed (again). He stop paying the bills because gas, cigarettes, and his wants were more important. We were getting evicted (again) and this time I put my foot down. We were not moving back in with his parents! I wanted to live within our means and he ABSOLUTELY had to live in the richest neighborhood.So he pretended to rent a house. He even gave the person a small deposit in front of me and made plans to move our furniture out of storage. When moving day came, we droped our kids off at his parents and I was to wait at my aunt's house til he got off work (Big Red Flag).When the time for him to get off work came and went - I called him. I asked him why he was not on his way. His exact words were, “I want a divorce!”I said, “You can't take the kids from me!”And he goes, ”Watch me!”So yup, my marriage ended with a phone call. I was left with my old car and a few items I could get in my car. I had to beg my Aunt for a place to stay and she let me sleep on her couch.I tried to get Legal Aid, but my conniving ex-husband went and filed for Legal Aid first. He got approved before any of this happened. So when I went to them for help they told me ‘it would be a conflict of interest for them to represent me' and ‘since you had no way to pay, you wouldn't get approved anyways'. And the real kicker - his parents ended up paying for his lawyer. He never used the Legal Aid lawyer and I couldn't use them because of his application.I had to fight my divorce on my own and without any legal knowledge. I was spending lots of hours in the legal library looking up forms that I needed to fill out. (This was before they closed it off to the public).I had to fight to get overnight visitation. They tried to get just a few hours a day because I lived in a “bad and unsafe” area. But the judge laughed at them and said “I can not declare the whole city of Kansas City, Kansas as unsafe” and gave me the basic visitation schedule.In the end, I settled with him in court and gave him custody. In return, he didn't ask for child support. I did it because I had to start my life over and I had no support system to help me. My two older girls ended up the real losers of this divorce. They didn't get to see me much over the years because of the agreement. They were 2 and 4 when I was cut out of thier lives and now at 16 and 14 they want nothing to do with me and I don't blame them.This divorce has been a blessing in disguise. It was a huge wake-up call. I learned how to identity Red Flags in a relationship and how to take care of myself. As of today, I have been happily married to my current husband for 11+ years and we have two children together. I have gotten my life together and look forward to seeing my older girls someday.

That could be the worst nightmare. :(I am a toddler who is stuck to him like glue!To me better sleep happens only if he his next to me. I fall asleep like a baby in his arms…I’m soo obsessed to him… lucky charmBefore marriage me and my brother share a room. I never hugged a pillow nor my brother while sleeping. I love my space so much. I also have a incredible talent that is, I can sleep anywhere within seconds.After marriage, I became the baby orangutan and I consider my husband as the mother orangutan.I really mean it. I.e have you ever noticed a baby who wakes up immediately even after a small move made by the mother, the similar thing happens to me. I wake up immediately after he wakes up. (But this is only applicable till morning 6’ later I don’t mind where he is & I continue sleeping ;p)Life has made me insanely stupid. (Face palm)How badly we fight, we stay in the same room and share the same bed. May be the only change is we don’t sleep facing each other, but the warmth can be felt.We fight. We argue. But we stay together.And we find more comfortable being together.

My MIL is really the much needed mother at Sasural. She is very traditional and believes in religious things very much. And her progressive thoughts always surprise me :She feels happy when I drive car at Sasural and it’s surprising for me when MIL told my husband and father in law to sit on backseat and let me drive and MIL on front seat. It is to note that We live in a village where woman driving car is very rare.How She cared about the little things that matters to me starting from food to dresses to going in events. It surprised me how when I told her I don’t like sugar in milk ,it is not healthy. She stopped putting sugar in milk for everyone also when getting it boiled. I felt happy that my opinion matters.I am a late riser around on 07:30 -8 Am . And in a village generally everyone wakes up early ..so is my MIL and FIL. But till date she has never told me anything about why I sleep for so late…except when there is some Puja or something going on , my FIL calls us and wakes us.She knew I am not experienced in doing household chores and cooking so she didn’t pushed me for it, I did what i feel comfortable in doing and helped her . She told me to sit with family and enjoy TV, while MIL was cooking. It felt like Home.Also at my Sasural she tells chores to my husband also even when I am sitting idle,, and vice-versa. She just easily say it.. we both are working and living in a city and she totally support that he should also help me in doing household work .I feel respected and loved at Sasural .My FIL is also very chill person And I am very lucky to get such an amazing family, now i proudly call my Husband’s place my HOME. And my MIL helped me a lot Making me feel it like home.EDIT: In my personal opinion I think initial years of marriage are very significant ones and the generally deciding factor for which way relationships will go. And In laws family needs to take more initiatives to make Daughter in law feel comfortable. The bonding needs to be first created and than contribution needed from both side to develop it as applicable in any other relationship .