Couldnt Move A Mobile Home In And Wanted To Know Why: Fill & Download for Free

DISCLAIMER: Long answer ahead. Feel free to skip“A Phone call that wrecked my life”8:00 AM : Today is a good day. No early morning classes. I sleep till late and wake up in the comfort of my bed with my mother’s hand softly caressing my hair. My dog licks my face, probably the best way a person can be woken up. Perfect start to the day.8:35 AM: Okay, I am getting late for the college again. I am yet to braid my hair. I may get traffic on the way. Professor doesn’t give late entry to the class. I am back to the old me again. Mum comes up and set my Rapunzel hair. Just when she’s done, I get a phone call. Alia 2 calling flashes on the screen.I pick up the phone. A guy speaks on the other end.Guy: “ Movie today?”Me: “Let’s talk in college.”Guy:”Yes or no?”Me: “Bye”And I was stupid enough to set my call volume to the highest so that the person standing behind me can overhear whatever I say.Mom:”Who was that?”Me:”Alia”Mom:”Call back on that number”Me:”Mom that was Alia”Mom:”GIVE ME THAT NUMBER”And this was where hell broke lose. I lost my parent’s trust that day. I disturbed their life’s peace. They stopped believing in my decisions. They needed a verification where I was? With whom I was going? How much time do I spend with other people after class? If class ends at 5, I was supposed to be home at 5:15. No ifs, No buts.Everything started in August last year. I joined a new college. Everything was new. New place. New people. New things. I needed support and guidance. For an introvert me, This was challenging. I met a guy online. We went to the same school. He was an year senior. Anyways, He helped me a lot. He was an asset for me. Slowly, our talks moved from acads to non acads and everything in between. We became good friends. I started feeling for him. I confessed that to him one fine day. He didn’t reciprocate the same. This broke me but it went away quickly. Nothing changed between us. He remained the ever sweet guy that he was. Our bond did grow stronger over time. He was there to listen to my rants about each and everything and made a nobody like ‘me’ feel loved and cared for.Coming from an orthodox family, there were many no-no’s for me. My attire had to be decent. No open hair, no skirts, shorts etc. Since childhood, nobody in my family appreciated the thought of girls having male friends. Even though I went to a Co-Ed school, Guy friends were off the limit for me. I did not bond well with female friends and graduated high school with extreme introversion and less friends.College was a breadth of fresh air for me. Not only did I open up but bonded with people of both sexes including ‘him’. Still he wanted me to open up more. Come out of bonds that my family had set up for me. Change my clothing style and my general get-up. This meant going against my family in so many ways. I couldnt and remained the same.Though we were not in a relationship, It did feel like one to me because of the emotional vulnerability and bond I had with him. Coming to my family, I wanted to share with them, how my college was, who my friends are and about him as well. But I couldn’t because I knew they wouldn’t appreciate my male friends. My family nearly discovered some of the things about me, a pic with a classmate that was decent to the core wasn’t appreciated . Why ? how can you stand next to a guy? All guys are bad. Stay away. What he was. A friend. Seriously. How was that offensive in any way.It didn’t take me time to realise I had changed a lot. I was everything my Family didn’t want me to. I felt okay with guy friends. Being friends with guys. What harm can that bring. But I knew my family won’t ever accept that. I still feared of getting caught. Not because I did anything wrong but because I knew I can’t change their thinking. Even though I didn’t have anything with him, I did everything a girl in a relationship did. Ashish became Alia in my mobile. It did seem like a good deal but who knew that stupid would call me when I’m home. And this gave away everything.From a peaceful household, Ours became the one where nobody was happy. And who was the root cause of everything. Yes, The wisest daughter of the family, me. Something happened everyday, my fights with my parents became common. No matter how much hard I tried, The mess only got deep.Trouble started at my college as well. I had some scuffles with my college friends. To add to my misery, I drifted away from the only soul that kept me sane all this time, Ashish. Whenever I tried to talk to him about stuff, he would ignore me. I discovered him lying to me all the time. I gave him the space he needed but had a breakdown. I am wanted to remain sane but part of me craved for him, his attention and everything him. From being just a friend initially, he had become my lifeline. Somebody I knew I needed at every point of time no matter what. My problems, pain, fear, worries, tension all went away when I with him. If there was a best listener award, then he was the sole winner. However, I could never imagine he would leave when I was going through biggest crisis of my life, all of which had happened because of him.I started getting depressing thoughts. This was the time when I needed him the most but he started to avoid me as if he has nothing to do me. Thanks to him, My life was an emotional mess. Thanks to him, I had a pathetic emotional breakdown. I wanted to run away from everything.Sometimes, he makes me question my life’s choices. Was choosing him the right choice ?Was he worth the emotional breakdown I faced? Where did I go wrong? among thousands of other questions.I don’t know what’s right what wrong. Everything’s subsided for some time. I dont know if that indicates everything’s okay or if that’s peace before a deadly storm. What I know is he brought out the insecure me. Someone I need to face and handle alone.

I'm 34 years old. My Dad is 60 and three weeks ago I “sent" him to a care home / nurse facility, where he will remain for the rest of his new life.Why?Because he's lost mobility, he is unable to be left unattended due to the risks of him falling. His hands are no longer in his control and he has to be hand fed. He started wearing adult nappies a couple months before this as he would end up covered in his own faeces as he at first couldn't hold his need to urinate in long enough for him to make it to the toilet; now he can't get to the toilet in time. He can't sit down or stand up unaided. 3 months ago he could.He has Frontotemporal Dementia. The rarest form, yet the most common in 35 - 60 year olds.Signs (the more “obvious” ones) began in his early 50s but my sister and I put the symptoms down to depression after the loss of our Nan, his mother.He lived abroad so we were not with him day to day to catch on early. 2 years ago flew over to visit him and through mutual friends, learnt of some “odd" behaviours he was displaying.My sister and I went to 3 different doctors, and even sent his scans to a doctor in Germany through a mutual friend who's relative is a successful neurosurgeon/ doctor.At that time I had to break it to him that he is a danger to himself and others of he continues to drive, as his legs and hands were not always under his control.It led me to remember a visit 5 years prior to all of this, now almost 7-8 years ago, where we were in the car and his foot slipped of the clutch as he started the car up. We almost jerked into the car parked in front.I started yelling out of fear and his response was “it wasn't my fault I couldn't control it" My sister and I were in our early 20s when that happened. I think, I mean, I wish it was now, now that we know the signs. Maybe we could have delayed this another decade? Maybe he would be like this in 5 years instead of now? But then, what do a couple of twenty somethings know about dementia in a parent who is a martial arts expert in Taekwondo, 6th Dan in Chun Do Kuan?He was fit, sharp, athletic, always on the go, so creative. He was a martial arts world champion in his 40s.5 days ago I celebrated his 61st birthday, in his new world. We were surrounded by most people in wheelchairs and 20 years older than him.I had to blow out his candles. I had to hand feed him his birthday cake. I had to unwrap his presents for him. Just 6 months ago he could handle doing all of these things himself.He told me “it's time". That's when I had to accept he needed to go into care. Because he said so. And that takes a person all their strength to do. Out of respect, I had to listen. But I delayed it, until he suddenly could feed or bathe himself.He had a carer, come to visit him 3 times a week, but it wasnt enough, he accelerated so fast that the carer suddenly had to go from cleaning, to actually giving him a full on bath and change of clothes and help to go toilet, to then wearing nappies, to then having to actually change his clothes to then me having to feed him one day.2 years ago he was diagnosed. 2 years ago he still drove his car, brushed his teeth, washed his hair and body, could feed himself, could go to the toilet, could walk albeit lose control of his leg. But his memory, went round in circles, asking the same questions, his short term memory just disappeared.I held him as he cried over what's happening to him. He promised me he will fight it every step of the way.Three weeks ago I took him to a home. He needs 24 hour care. I took him to a home, to save his life. I took him to a home, so he can have a life. I took him to a home, because he was strong enough to ask me to do so. I took him to a home out of respect for his life.I spent a year in denial. His life would have been better if I put him in sooner, but I felt that while he still had some Independence I couldn't take that away from him. But soon he became a risk to himself.His life was at risk. This is why my Dad is in a home, and why I, his daughter, sent him there.************EDIT*************12th MAY 2020… my Papa passed away.Thank you for your comments and upvotes from the original post back in Nov. I wanted so much to respond but it took around 3 months before I could muster the courage and the words. Thank you for taking the time, as each of you gave us comfort and helped us in accepting and recognising other possible issues that could and very well may have occurred.Anyway, I digress; my father Andrea's Kareklas passed away 2 weeks ago.Tomorrow, on 30th May we lay his body to rest.It's been a strange time due to Covid-19; the nursing home closed its doors in March, just after my birthday where I managed to share some time with him. After the doors were locked down (I was relieved at the time as they are all high risk in the home) the weight of not being able to see him in person was overbearing, so on the 25th April I found and rented a place that opened up on the same road as where he was (thanks to air bnb no longer having customers)I moved straight in, and went to see him. As I stood on the pavement and the nurse wheeled him out in his wheelchair; I finally got to see finally see my Dads face, and tell him I would be coming everyday. He wasnt at all sure why I had abandoned him all this time…however, he was my Dad. I mean, he just snapped back into the Dad I grew up with… I should have known then really.I went to see him the next day, and then I fell unwell so couldnt see him for about 4 days. On the 5th day I wasnt able to see him, I was worried, but brushed it aside. He had taken a turn, as was becoming normal, where he would need PEG feeding (tube fed) … except this time I had no idea he wouldn't bounce back.It was approx 10 days since I had seen him last… even though he was a short few feet walk away from me. I got a call, he had taken a turn. They threw all the rules out, and unlocked the doors to let me in.“He has a few days, maybe a couple of weeks at most" I was told after I went through the doors, and was sanitized gloved and masked up... I didnt believe it. When I saw him, I started to realise this might actually be true.The nurse who was by his side the whole time, she had told me that he was no longer here, he couldn't respond. I didnt believe that.I said “Hey my Dad" but he didnt move his eyes, they didn't light up and he didnt have the most infectious smile he would always carry across his face… for some reason that didn't bother me as much as it should have. It just made me determined.I went to YouTube, and played Elvis Presleys Love Me Tender… see, my Dad had sang this to me as if it were a lullaby as a small child. I actually thought it was indeed a lullaby until I realised who Elvis Presley was.And there he was. He looked at me. Life came back into his eyes, and so I played that song on repeat for the next couple hours I was with him, and again the next day from 3pm until he passed at 9.30pm.In that time, he met all his friends and loved ones that he grew up with and got to hear well wishes from them via Video calls. He listened to my sister, brother and I natter away. He smiled, over and over. The man could not blink his own eyelids but somehow this smile spread across his face.The nurse, well, she realised I wasn't claiming him being present as a coping mechanism, he was actually there… and she spoke to him too. She told him we will still go for that icecream along the seafront. We planned to do this when I first saw him again, and she decided when Lockdown due to Covid was over, she would take him out with me.2 weeks after I moved to be by his side, he passed away.My brother in law says that my Dad passed knowing I had taken this step, and that he knew he could leave.I'm not going to lie here, my Dad, I rarely saw him look scared. And he looked scared for a while. So scared, that my sister saw it through facetime… he did, he looked terrified, and so we spent the next few hours, calling all his friends from childhood, his loved ones and my dad, well, he smiled. He even tried to talk when he spoke to a certain long time friend and Master. I'll never forget that moment.We got to say goodbye. We may have been apart, and I may have fucked up with my own depression and not been able to be with him as much as I could have been, or had the opportunity to be, and he may have been apart from us due to Covid (absolutely gut wrenching as he was through a video call, looking absolutely heartbroken not knowing why we were no longer there and hearing him ask each time… sometimes confused, sometimes hurt and angry, and worst of all, with tears of abandonment…) but we got to say goodbye. We got to be there.Sometimes in life we mere humans need a break because most of the time we don't deserve what happens. If we didnt get that goodbye, if I didnt get to lie next to him, hold him tight, I wouldn't be able to write this to you as I await his burial in the morning. So, I hold onto that goodbye.6 hours we were with him on that second day, on the phone to my sister the whole time and my brother and mother in the room with me towards the last few hours.And when I went to the bathroom because I literally had to, he took his last breath. He didnt want me to be there, and I knew it. I actually knew it. He departed when I was ready. I felt so ready to let him go because he deserved peace. (I'm not ready however, to live my life without him in it, day by day I guess)We got to say goodbye. We got to tell him that it is OK to let go because he deserved rest now. I promised him I was going to be okay. I wasnt OK you see. I was suffering from severe depression leading up to and after his diagnosis and prognosis. His only concern was me, on the day when he could suddenly no longer manage his fork to eat, his concern was still me.Ps… i didnt have an intention when writing this edit, only to mention his passing… thank you to everyone, because ultimately this raises awareness that dementia and alzheimer's are not what you see in the movies, but is a real and terminal disease that does not discriminate against age, nor has a preventative treatment and no cure. Not yet anyway.

Yes I do. My marriage to this guy changed me a lot from a sensitive person to a very cruel person.I got married while I was perusing my p.g. I was staying in the hostel at that time. When my parents asked me to get married as I have an younger sister who is just an year younger than me, I readily agreed. I said ok to the first person itself since everything seems ok to me from his side. Frankly I don't know what to expect from a person in the arranged marriage.There was almost 6 months of time between our engagement and marriage. This is the crucial time for anyone to understand the other person. But I couldn't understand him properly because whenever I tried to talk to him he cut the phone saying that he has an important oncall (office work). At first I got irritated with this behavior but later I got adjusted saying myself that I'm still studying and I don't know how busy a software person is. I tried to ask him about his past relationships to which he always escaped the very question. I don't have any love affairs before because I know about my parents who will never agree to such marriages.After 3 days of the marriage we had our first night. Though I tried to talk to him about myself he just denied it. All he wants is that thing to be done. From the 5th day onwards started my frustration.He didn't used his mobile much for those four days. But when he started using his mobile my instincts told me that something is wrong. On the new year night he just wished me and started chatting with someone.On The very day I came to know about his past. He told me that he had a girl friend who cheated him saying that she is unmarried. But later he came to know that she is a divorce with a daughter who is living with her parents. Hence he left her. but she blackmailed him by the call recordings and their chat messages. She asked him to be in contact with her otherwise she would show them to his father ( very strict). Hence he got married to get rid of her from his life. This all thing seems ok for me. I left for my hostel ( another city) to continue my 2nd year of P.G.But since then my life goes on like this.I unexpectedly found an email in his email box and found that they went to a movie just a day before the new-year day. They went to pizza hut after I left for the hostel. He went to her hostel before coming to receive me from the busstop when I came for sankranthi festival. In one of the recordings I found that he went to her hostel and asked her to come down saying that he would surely marry her with in 8 months of time.I asked him about the phone call and he told me that as she was blackmailing him he just did those things and promised me that he will not talk to her again.After that I understood that tjeycwere still in contact (I saw her number in his recent call list). I took his SIM on the minute itself and he blocked his number with in an hour. I left with no clues to prove this time. He changed his number and promised me that he won't give this number to her. I believed. I left for my hostel.I received few msgs from that woman. She warned me to beware of my husband. He told me that she just wanted me to feel insecure. In April I found screenshot of chatting msg between both of them. I enquired. Asusual he told me that it was an old chat.In may i went to my in-laws home for summer vacation. Just few minutes before his arrival she messaged me that he is about to get down the train. I asked him how did she knew ur schedule (its an unexpected journey). He told me that he posted about his plan in various whatsapp group and someone might have told her about him. I believed. But soon I got to know that she is using another number. And they both were in contact with their new numbers. What a fool I was.My in-laws planned honeymoon for us. Though my husband didn't like this idea at first he then accepted. As he wouldn't be in contact with her. He told her that he was going for onsite project work and he couldnt call her frequently.When she found that she we went to honeymoon she send few call recordings of them in the past 1 month. Hence our honeymoon was the worst memory of my life. We fought like anything. I still remember that i just wanted to die on the spot itself. He again told me that he won't repeat this again in the future. I left for my college.Whenever I asked him about his behavior he simply says one thing. “As we are not together we have this misconceptions. So stay with me. Buy a project and submit it in the college.” But I don't want to do that. I started doing my project work from home itself. My project completed in October. In this few months from June to October every minute of my life I suffered. That insecure feeling, that betrayed feeling the feeling that you have life your rest of your life with this person who cheated you everthing sucks.After my project we moved to Bangalore as he joined in another company. He told me that he won't be in contact with her anymore.As my mother in law was sick I left for my home town to look after her. Whenever I try to call him I always got “ out of coverage area” msg. But with in few minutes I got a phone call from him. I knew that it's possible by using 2 Sims and adjusting few settings. When I went back to him in November he fought with me that he never used 2 SIMs. I remain silent as I don't have any proofs to prove that my instincts are correct. In February I found another SIM in his laptop bag. I asked him what was that. He just told me that he don't know anything about it. In between those worst phases of my life I came to know that I was pregnant.I literally don't want this pregnancy. I was still in confusion about my relation. But I can't abort as I can't give the proper reason to anyone. We moved to Bangalore. All I had was doubts. I can't prove that he was still in contact with her. At the same time I can't prove that there was no contact. One of his elder sisters knew the war between us. Though she didn't support his brother completely, she won't agree that he was a wrong person.From January to June 2016 my monthly routine was like this.I traced one of his gmail account where they once used to chat with one another. He found that and deleted that email account.I found that he used another SIM for few months even after he came to Banglore. The SIM that I found in February belongs to him only and he used it for 4 months just to be in contact with her. He blocked the SIM.I tracked his whatsapp account and found that they do chat assoon as he left to the office daily. He deleted his whatsapp account.By knowing the last 3 messages and calls from his sim I found that he is sending messages continuously from his mobile. He stopped sending messages and making calls from his mobile. He started using his office land line phone for this purpose.I found that he saved few messages from her where she blackmailed him. And deleted the rest of their conversation just to be in safe margin.In may 2016 my in-laws and his sister's and their families came to banglore for summer vacation. He asked money to manage the household needs for that month. I gave him money by taking loan from a friend. He showed me that month bills. Everything seems ok. But later I found that his parents also contributed a lot of money in that money. As this seems somewhat confusing, I checked his hdfc card transactions.Ah!! I found the very fact that he sends a lot of amount to that woman every month from the past 4 years (2012 November to 2016 July). The account was created in 2012 November only. since 2016 January to 2016 July 6th he sent almost 1.5 lac to her.Yes it's all his money. I don't have right to interfere in his transactions. But mind u, he didn't bring a single fruit since the first month of my pregnancy. I used to manage the whole month with 3k. Whenever I asked for something to eat he showed me the debit he owed to his friends, to the bank. He even told that his parents took away all the money which was left with him.When I found about his transactions I couldn't taken it any longer. I want to abort the baby. But by then I was in 7th month and I couldn't do anything.I came to my parents home in July ending. He, this time, promised that he won't send any money to her account. And yes, he stand on his words. He sent money to her friends account. The same 7k (for her monthly expenses). This time he sent money from his city bank. He didn't knew that I was tracking that account also.But when he found that I knew that accounts net banking password he immediately changed the password. And argued that he didn't send any money to her. I asked for the account details of that new account to which he transferred the money. He gave me wrong account number.I'm in 8th month now. I know I have to stay cool and calm these days. But I can't. Every minute passes by I hate him much more. It's been a month since I talked to him. He now and then tried to talk to me. But all I get upon seeing his name on my mobile screen made me angry frustrated.I just want to leave everyone. But now I can't. I want to die but I have a new responsibility now. I want to tell it to my parents but as they are very sensitive I don't know how they'll react. I want to tell his parents. But they are already in their 60s and their health concerns me a lot. I want to divorce him. But don't know whether our govt. give divorces without having solid proofs. More over our baby will be the one who will suffer for the rest of its life.My suggestion to everyone who is going to settle in life.Don't cheat the person who left everyone and everything for you. You can gain anything back but not the trust.Don't conceive when you are having doubt on your relationship. It will worsen the situation.Edit1:Thanks to all for your suggestions. Some of u suggested me to file a case against him and some of u suggested me not to do so.Many times I wanted to reveal this infront of his. But every time he emotionally blackmailed me that he will commit suicide and I let go that idea. At that moment he cries like he never did any mistake in his life. For few months I believed that he is loyal because I never saw a man in his 30s crying like that.But now I decided to reveal it infront of his parents. I know that his mother won't believe me but I have a little faith on his father. I’ll think about divorce after talking to the elders. I don't know even when to reveal it. I stuck at my parents home far away from my in-laws town. When they visit me it's not courtesy to talk such maters. This is not a silly mater to be discussed over phone. So I'm waiting for the right time. Hope things would get settled soon.Because of this issues I didn't concentrate on my carrier in my final year. And this year also has it's ups and downs. At least Im expecting a better life next year.