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PDF Editor FAQ

What is the most ridiculous thing you have heard a teacher say?

When I was in middle school, my history teacher wanted to show the class a WWII film that was rated R. The class was elated; as a bunch of eleven year olds, we rarely got to see PG-13 movies, much less R movies. That also meant we had to get permission slips signed by our parents.On the big day, everyone brought their permission slips and lined up outside the classroom door.Everyone, that is, except for my friend Jason. When he realized that he’d forgotten to get his permission slip signed, he began to relentlessly holler a single word.“F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK”…directly behind the classroom door.I quickly told Jason: “Dude, you’d better shut up or the teacher’s going to hear you and you’ll get in trouble.”As if on cue, the door swung open and there stood our furious history teacher.“Did I just hear someone tell another student to shut up!?”Everyone looked at me.Stunned, I tried to explain the context of the situation, but whatever I said fell on deaf ears.“I heard a ‘shut up’ and that’s all I heard, so you’d better start walking to the Principals office NOW!”I ended up getting lectured for an hour about needing to control my anger and watch my language. Jason, on the other hand, didn’t get into any trouble.By the time I returned to class to apologize for my behavior, as requested by the Principal, I’d missed the movie.I’m still salty about that. I heard it was a good movie.

As a teacher, has a student ever given you a note 'from their parents' where it obviously wasn't from their parents?

Sort of.I once had a student who was absent the day I gave out field trip permission slips, so I gave him his the next day. About ten seconds later, I collected the parent-signed forms from all of the students who got their permission slips the day before. As I checked them in later that day, his was in the pile, “signed” by his mother.He was so used to signing things for her that when he saw everyone else turning their slip in, he forged her signature and put his in the pile, forgetting that I literally just gave it to him.

How do you justify your consumption of meat?

Eating meat requires no more moral justification than eating vegetables or drinking water. The cosmos doesn’t issue permission slips. Animals eat other animals. Their capacity for pain has no bearing on me eating them. Their capacity for pain only governs how quickly I believe they should be dispatched and how comfortable their existence should be PRIOR to being slaughtered.

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