A Packet Of Procedures And: Fill & Download for Free

Ah, fine, I’ve been reading these forever so it’s time to chip in. I’ve mulled over several possibilities and ended up with this one.Barry goes to the doctor to complain of stomach pains. After an examination, the doctor says ‘I’m sorry to say that you have a tapeworm and most people would say it’s too big to remove without surgery. I do have a fairly radical new treatment, though, if you’re interested.’Barry acquiesces and so the doctor produces a boiled egg, a packet of Fruit Pastilles and a hammer. He inserts the boiled egg into Barry’s anus, and with three swift blows, hammers it all the way in. Then he takes one of the fruit pastilles and does the same thing. ‘Come back and see me in a week.’The following week, the procedure is repeated: Boiled egg (hammer, hammer, hammer); Fruit pastille (hammer, hammer, hammer). ‘Come back next week’A week later it’s the same thing: Boiled egg (hammer, hammer, hammer); Fruit pastille (hammer, hammer, hammer). ‘Come back next week’On Barry’s next visit the doctor says ‘This should be the final treatment’. He places the boiled egg (hammer, hammer, hammer) and then waits.A few moments later, a small worm pokes its face out of Barry’s arse and just has enough time to say ‘Oi! Where’s me fuckin’ fruit pastille?’ before the doctor whacks it over the head with the hammer.——Edit: A number of commentators have mentioned alternative versions of this joke featuring different foodstuffs. However, I still maintain that none of them are as British as a boiled egg and a Fruit Pastille.

Yes she did and not just Catherine but her whole family were vilified. The press followed them around for years trying to pick up on anything controversial. Here's a sample:“During a yet another night out at London's Boujis, Middleton was caught with a packet of cigarettes peeping out of her handbag.Middleton, who made sure her behaviour was always fit for a Queen during her courtship with William, has clearly dropped her guard - and squeaky clean image”. Daily Mail 2007After the couple broke up briefly in 2007, reports surfaced that some of William’s friends began mocking Middleton’s mother, Carole, calling the former airline stewardess “doors-to-manual” (a reference to landing procedure) and spreading rumors that she offended the queen by using the word “toilet” instead of “lavatory.”James Whitaker, considered Britain’s top royal correspondent, said at the time, “I just don’t think she had the breeding, quite honestly, and I’m not being snooty.”NYpost 2010"As if it wasn’t bad enough to be called Waity Katie for eight years, poor Kate Middleton is now known in the royal inner circle as Duchess of Dolittle! Though Kate has appeared at dozens of charity events since marrying Prince William last April, that’s not good enough for Queen Elizabeth II, who’s been complaining of her “laziness,” a royal source reveals.""speaks, it’s not like she’s ever blowing people away with her insightful comments or sparkling wit. She says things like, “I love chocolate. I think all girls like chocolate” and admitting that she doesn’t know how to make a cup of tea. And of course, there’s this video which highlights her lack of… something. Lack of preparation. Lack of concern. Lack of interest. Lack of ability to do anything but stutter talking points."Celeb 2012There are loads more as they went on for much longer than 2 years!

I was in India last month, and went to Axis bank for getting some document. While I was waiting for the work to be done, another man and a woman came for some work.Man said, “Sir ham dono kal bhi aaye the. Aapne aadhar card laane ko kaha tha. Aaj le aaye hai. Please ye hamara aadhar card bank account se link karwa do.”(Sir, we came yesterday too. You suggested us to get our original Aadhar card. We have it today. Can you please link it with our bank account.)The woman with the man was his coworker and while speaking to them I came to know that they were never accustomed to bank procedures and coming to bank was a chaotic for them earlier.When I asked him that what made him drag to bank now, his reply was, “ab to saral ho gaya sab. Banko me kaha itni bheed hai. Bank me direct subsidy aa jati hai cylinder ki. PF bhi har mahine directly katwa lete hai.”(Things are easier now. Banks aren’t as crowded and procedures are simpler. We get subsidised amount in the bank directly. Provident Fund is also auto deducted from our salaries every month now.)I was surprised to see that so many people, more than we imagine are aware of Government schemes now. I was never aware of all Government schemes in the past too, because either the schemes never got on the floor or were poorly marketed. But now, my India is changing and so are its people. Change requires a lot of efforts, patience and time. And things are definitely changing in India.Another beautiful surprise was when I went with my brother to get few things from the market. He then stopped to buy a packet of milk. He then took out his phone and transferred the required amount using an app called ‘ PhonePe’. Trust me, I could have never imagined it three years ago.India is changing… for good.