Monthly Report Cover Page: Fill & Download for Free

My friend’s paper was given a Turnitin plagiarism score of 95%.In my last semester of university, my Philosophy professor announced that we would be submitting our midterm papers through Turnitin. My professor was extremely strict and required his students to submit papers with a uniformed cover page. Failure to abide by this would result in huge demerits.We were given a three-day window to submit our midterm papers. My friend, being the organized and assiduous student that she is, submitted hers on the very first day. Me, being me, wasn’t even halfway done with mine.The next morning, we were having lunch when the topic of the midterm paper came up. I was somewhat unfamiliar with Turnitin as it had been more than a year since I had last used it so I asked her if anything had changed with the platform.“Oh I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve never used it before too. I was so stupid last night, though. I forgot to add the cover page when I submitted so I had to re-submit my paper. I put ‘final version’ on my re-submission so I hope he accepts that.”For all you Turnitin experts, you can maybe guess where this was headed.Once the three-day submission window ended, our professor asked to talk to my friend. Her Similarity Report had come up in the red with a score of approximately 95%.My friend was pale and near tears as she explained to our professor what had transpired. Since this paper was a main requirement, it counted for a huge chunk of our grade and there was a risk of her not graduating if she didn’t pass the class. Our professor was an old, stodgy man who was known for his strictness. He didn’t seem to be the type to chalk it all up to an honest mistake.But, he did.He told my friend to go down to talk with the university’s Library Director who oversaw the professors using Turnitin in their classes. The library had been responsible for setting up the system and the platform so they were the ones troubleshooting any and all problems experienced by professors and students alike.My friend then went and spoke with the Library Director who informed her that it would take a while for them to fix the issue. I’m not extremely well-versed in what had to happen, but apparently, our university library wouldn’t be able to fix it themselves. They would have to escalate it to the Turnitin main offices in the United States. They could offer no guarantees as to how long it would take the main office to look into it and with graduation less than two months away, to say that my friend was nervous would be a huge understatement.Thankfully, my friend received an e-mail from the library several days after her appointment notifying her that the issue had been resolved.And a few weeks later, we stood together in line to receive our diplomas.Take a look at my personal blog Kayla Auf Denglisch where I write about my passion for languages and other random life experiences.

Don’t know if it’s a true story, but it was told to me by my programming instructor back when most programmers worked with mainframes, trees were tall, and I was still in college…A COBOL/JCL programmer in one of the large financial companies had one task — he was supposed to maintain the code for generating an elaborate monthly report of some sort (hundreds of pages, from what I was told). He was very diligent, the report was always accurate, always on time. The guy was always at work, never took a vacation, hardly ever took days off. Finally, after 5 years or so, HR told him he had to take a vacation or the company would be facing a fine from OSHA or something. While he was on vacation, another programmer was assigned to cover for him. In the very first day, it was discovered that the report generating code contained only the printed layout, and no logic whatsoever — they guy did all calculations manually, on a calculator, and hard-coded them into the layout. It took him about a month do do this, just in time to generate the report. When they checked his desk, they found that he took all his personal belongings with him when going on vacation — he knew he was not coming back.

If Obama was president on 9/11, then he should have been president a month earlier, when Bush was handed a report entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike Inside U.S.” You may recall that Bush merely glanced at the cover page and told the courier, “OK, you’ve covered your ass,” and went back to clearing brush on his repurposed Texas chicken farm. (Bush liked to call it a ranch, but it had neither horses nor cattle. A real Texas ranch has at least one, if not both.)Obama would have read the report. Then he probably would have convened a meeting ASAP with the heads of the FAA and CIA, the Secretary of Transportation, and a few airline CEOs and hashed out some ideas for new safety measures to prevent hijackings, such as impregnable cockpit doors and no knives or box cutters allowed in carry-ons.Possibly the hijackings would have been thwarted. But if not, and Obama had been visiting a school, after the initial shock wore off, he would not have sat motionless like a deer in the headlights, a la Shrub. Instead, he’d calmly tell the kids that something important had come up, as it usually does more than once in a president’s day, and excuse himself to leave. No-Drama Obama, remember.