Going Home - A Parent'S Checklist - Preemiecare: Fill & Download for Free

Most likely they call CPA . They feel your not responsible for the care of that child. They don’t care you have a sick child at home. You can call a cab in your area ask if they have a woman driver. Tell them you need your child picked up at the school. Then call the school and tell the principal you got a sick child and a cab will be at the school to pick your other child up. In some schools the principal will take the child out and get the child in the cab. This way your protected you took care of your child.

As many (excellent) answers have said… it’s not easy. I won’t repeat the advice already given, all and any of it worth a try - some will help I know, but I’ll add something that helped ME and my Dad when “that” time came:By the time Dad went into care, he NEEDED to be there. He was physically very frail, prone to falling, with mobilisation issues but far worse, his dementia had developed at an alarming rate. The first thing to go is reasoning… hence he couldn’t see the reason behind him being in care. What helped me was ME knowing that he needed to be there, I could see the reasoning that had led to this situation.It sounds so simple but once I accepted that as an absolute, the need for him to be in care, I could be a lot more pragmatic about it. This helped me to help my Dad. Once I was more ‘confident’, for want of a better word, he felt more confident in me, and my efforts at comforting him were better received. I stopped second-guessing the decision and could in all “good” conscience (not that I feel “good” about any of it, just accepting) assure Dad that it was indeed sad, that he had every right to be angry and that if he could go home, we would be taking him there in a heartbeat…. but sadly he just was too frail, living at home an impossibility.In his heart, he sometimes knows this, even before he says anything. Sometimes he really, genuinely doesn’t know… he doesn’t think he’s old, or demented, or frail. All I can do is assure him that I always have and always will do the best I can by him. I do what I can to make his “new” life as comfortable, interesting, familiar and nice as I can, but I don’t (well I try very hard not to!) get offended or insulted when it’s not ‘enough’In short I suppose I’m saying that the main thing is that YOU know “it is not safe for her to live at home anymore”, YOU know that you are doing the hard thing for her sake, just as she did the hard thing for your sake when you were growing up. I still get (three years on) anger and disappointment from my Dad, but now I don’t feel the guilt that drove my response earlier, now I don’t try to reason with him… I agree with him; it is indeed sad that he cannot go home, but he cannot go. I too would be angry that my health and life had changed so very much… but that doesn’t negate the fact that they have changed. When Dad asks why he has to be there I tell him that sadly his body and his brain have just let him down. Sometimes he “gets” it, sometimes I just have to stroke his arm and assure him that when he is “better” we’ll go home. It is not a lie, but it is ‘true’ in different ways for each of usSomething else I think helps US to help them adjust is to realise that “home” may not be what they miss… my Dad wanted to go home desperately when he first went into care; we took the advice of staff and didn’t take him home for the first couple of weeks… when we did take him, he didn’t even recognise the house - the house he’d lived in for over thirty-five years. He didn’t recognise his life without my Mum in it. The things we thought he’d miss when he went into care turned out to be of little or no import for him - the garden and workshop he’d spent countless hours in were of no interest. I think we had projected what we would missHe longed, in truth, for his younger self, the life he had when he was young and whole. He still longs for that, I cannot help him. But nobody else can either, so I do what I can… I make sure he’s safe, and assure him that what I do I do from love. And I accept his anger, share his sadness and try to give him small victories in his life to offset the defeat I know he must feelIf your mother does not have dementia she will think and feel betrayed, all you can do (apart from the practical, like visiting often and making her environment homelike) is empathise, if she does have dementia it is very much a moveable feast… what works one day may or may not the next. Again remember WHY your Mum is in care and it will help you to comfort her… if you are less anxious she will be tooThis is a horrible ‘place’ to be with our parents, but it is what it is… the angst reduces over timeGood luck

For me, keeping an exhausted child in stores, etc, was because I was limited on my time out, and I needed to get groceries, fill the car with gas, pick up dry cleaning, etc, etc…No parent likes keeping a child out so long that they get exhausted and cranky, but children tire out faster than adults do, even tho all they do is walk in, then ride in the cart, or sit in a carrier. It’s still exhausting. And if you live where the weather gets cold enough to have to dress the child in thick, movement restricting garments, you probably have an upset child to begin with. Which tires them out even faster. So having a child have a tantrum for any reason is often dealt with in a not very good manner… a swat, a yell, but what they should, and some do, is put there cart where a cashier can keep an eye on it and remove the child from the store, and put them in the car to scream it out, or if they came by bus, just go outside and let them finish, then tell them you have to finish here, or (put the reason here.)I learned early on to ensure I had some extra items with me. Baggies with snacks, like dry cheerios or other dry cereal they like, a cup of milk or juice, a bottle of water, and some toys that if they threw them away and lost them, could easily be replaced. Or I would buy a helium filled balloon, tie the string to the wrist and that would keep even a baby of 6 months up occupied. They were only a buck for the plain ones, so I could afford it. To children old enough to understand, they were given the ability to choose a special food, one that they wouldn’t have to share. I encouraged a choice of dry cereal, a box of cookies that we couldn’t make at home, a box of some kind of bars, a jar of nuts, or something they loved that would take a few days to consume, so it could be drawn out over the month. I also explained, when they were young, that they couldn’t touch everything, and if they did, they had to walk with their fingers laced together in front of them. And it worked.Now, if your infant is still very young, be sure to know where you can sit to breastfeed or bottle, whichever is your choice, with your cart nearby. Keeping your baby fed and warm or cool enough, and if your child is in a seat and covered by blankets and the zippered cover, PLEASE remove it when in a store. I have been witness (and I was the only one who knew infant CPR) to try to revive a baby who died in the winter of heat stroke from being kept totally bundled in the store. She had no fresh air, and she got too hot, and stopped breathing. By the time Mama discovered it and started screaming, it was too late. She’d been deprived long enough that her entire face was dark blue. I did try, breathing and CPR, stripping her out of her blankets and clothes, and having others bring water to pour on her in the hopes of dropping her temperature. By the time the ambulance got there and took over, they pronounced her dead, which of course, devastated Mama - and me. It was horrible, and I always ask parents to unzip the baby and let her breathe freely and have a better body temp. So please, remove some of the covers and keep checking on your infant!Good luck.