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Well UPSC life!Background: Till 2014 I was that kind of a person who was in a top Delhi University college, knew every party place in Delhi. Used to stay in a hostel. Had the chill life with hostel mates and college friends. Used to pass exams with a decent score as well (and a lot of last minute studying haha). Had a huge friend circle. And by huge I mean I used to be very active in societies in college, used to be invited by people from other courses as well, headed a crucial placements department of college, had more than a hundred friends and acquaintances. As I was playing cricket and represented my academy and college cricket team, I had my own set of cricket mates too. So life was pretty cool and to be brutally honest, those were the best times I had. Also, at one point of time I seriously thought to pursue a career in cricket as I was quite decent at it but then an injury delayed my sporting opportunities. Had to take extra care with that injury otherwise an operation would have been on the cards. Well, life’s interesting right?Till 2014, I did not even have an iota of understanding about what the UPSC Civil Service exam is all about. Though I had heard about the IAS before but only had a very faint idea of what roles and responsibilities one has being an IAS officer or for that matter as any other civil servant. I also got ‘nearly’ placed with a decent package of 6 L.p.a only to be sent home at the last moment because they had to select only 1 out of the last 2 shortlisted candidates. It was unfortunate but I took that in my stride as I had always been a happy go lucky kind of a person.As I love travelling and meeting new people, I was lucky to meet an IAS officer one day during a trip of mine to the North East. I spoke to her at length. She actually ignited the spark in me. She motivated me to the hilt so much so that the very next day I went to the stationery shop to buy some NCERT books. Haha.She was very inspiring. I saw her real work and how she was actually making a difference around her. Though I had been working with NGO’s before during college days but the scale and scope of work she was undertaking for improving the lives of people especially in the remote regions of North East was something else. Something I had never seen before. I was so inspired that I put myself to take this upon me. I gave myself a challenge. I was only 20. I had already been rejected for a job. I had age on my side to give it my all. I took the plunge.Post 2014: No social media, no outings. First couple of months were very difficult to be honest. But as I had taken a challenge, the last thing I wanted was me backing out of it. I took a room on rent. Only went out for classes. Had NO friends at all. Only had a few people whom I would go down with after class to have tea. That’s it. No discussion about anything else. Only study talk.2015: Failed in Prelims 2015. Cut-Off was 107.34. Failed by a good 40 marks. Felt heartbroken. I had worked hard but after the result I told myself that I haven’t and there’s room for more hard work. Came out of that failure. I made sure I work very hard in the next attempt.2016: Appeared in Prelims again. I had worked very hard this time. Got 110. Was very happy initially as I had got 2.67 marks more than last years cutoff. But alas, the cutoff skyrocketed to 116! Perils of being a ‘General’ candidate! (Though I have nothing against reservation). Heartbroken yet again.This was the first time I felt very lonely. Did not read a single word for two months straight. Went into a cocoon. I had absolutely no one to talk to, no one to share my grief. Though my family was concerned but I kept a smile on my face always to reassure them that all was well, which actually wasn’t. Few friends who had bothered after I left social media, soon became busy as most of them picked up good jobs, few started studying at top B-schools. And I was here with nothing. I used to feel guilty that I’m being a burden on my family. But after all, I was following my passion right? This motivated me to start studying again and one fine day I picked up a book to go at it again. Lonely yet determined I was.2017: I made sure to leave no stone unturned this time. I worked my arse off like a workaholic. Put in the hard yards, day in and day out. I could sense that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I have to get out of it no matter what! I had absolutely zero outings during this attempt. Prelims results came and I cleared the cutoff by 15 marks! That was a very happy day for me in a very long time. I started preparing for mains. I studied for hours and hours at a stretch. As I had always been a bright student I had a habit of sitting for long hours at a stretch, I used to clock 16 quality hours a day without fail. I started losing a bit of hair and my health also went for a toss in the process too but I always kept telling myself that this sacrifice is necessary and if it requires so, so be it. Mains results came and I was on cloud nine after seeing my roll number in the list! It was one of the most satisfying day for me which literally had my sister in tears when I broke out the news to her. My parents were happy and so was I. For a moment I felt that all that loneliness was there for a reason. I was determined to do well in the final phase i.e. the Interview. I had a decent interview and expected to see my name in the ‘holy pdf’ of UPSC. Come result day and I waited with bated breath. As soon as the final result came out, I dared not to press the CTRL+F button. I scrolled through the whole pdf slowly and with each scroll I had a flashback of my 4 years of preparation. With each scroll I had a trembling sensation in my nerves with my palms sweating like anything. I skipped a few heartbeats for sure. At the end of it all, I had a numbing sensation. I couldn’t feel my tears dripping down my cheeks. I DID NOT FIND MY NAME IN THE LIST. I was shell shocked. I felt like a total failure. I felt so bad that I did not even eat properly for days. It was one of the saddest days of my life. It was like getting crushed to the core. I literally felt so sad I that I slept crying. I just wanted this day to end.I somehow gathered my inner strength as the next prelims of 2018 was only a month away. I gathered the broken pieces of my failure and thought that if I’ve been able to come this far there must be something in me. I worked hard and appeared.And you know what? I was greeted by failure, yet again. This time in Prelims itself. This was the loneliest I have felt ever ! It was like destiny was standing in front of me having a hearty laugh. It was like going down into a deeper abyss. I was so lonely that I had no energy to do anything at all. I felt like total failure, a loser. I felt like a complete disappointment.I used to only look out of my room’s window. That was the only thing I did for the next few weeks. No books, no studies. I no longer had the motivation to get up on time. I slept most of the day, mostly drowned in my own thoughts. I stopped following and watching the game I loved the most. I stopped keeping track of any news. I stopped reading the newspaper which is a quintessential part of UPSC preparation. I didn’t try contacting any of my friends. I was so lonely that I couldn’t get a sound sleep at night, drowned in my own thoughts I used to rethink about the glory days, the days when I cleared the prelims and mains, the day of the interview. I sometimes used to have bad dreams. My body used to lay in bed for hours but my mind used to keep thinking about such thoughts keeping me mentally awake.Peeping outside from my window, I used to see people roam around, kids going and coming back from school, birds chirping, dogs barking at a distance, puppies playing around, children playing. Sometimes I gazed at the stars, lucky enough on some clear nights (one hardly gets clear skies in Delhi) to see the constellations which I used to find with ease when I was a child. Maybe it was nature that calmed my inner thoughts a bit. I started to realise that in the realm of this universe, UPSC isn’t even 0.000000000001% of it. Clearing this exam is just a means to an end. And also there’s so much in this world to do apart from clearing an exam where the odds are really not in anyone’s favour. I accepted the fact that ‘luck’ does play a huge role in this. And though I don’t want to open a pandora’s box on reservation, but being a general candidate is very tough to be honest. I happened to score 150 odd marks more than the last ranker in the final list but still didn’t find my name in it. But I have no qualms about it. I have nothing against reservation and I’m only laying out the facts.Thereafter, I realised that I only have a few certain things in my hand which are ‘controllables’. These are the ones which I can control. I started to realise that I can only control what I can control and something that is out of my control is what I shouldn’t be even thinking about. You can say I matured a bit.Sometime later, we had a neighbour shift in with a really cute dog. Maybe looking at the dog do funny things and playing around was bit of a therapy to me. I became more practical with time. I started to enjoy small things like making a cup for coffee for myself, taking out my camera to get some amazing shots, and seeing that funny dog do tricks all day playing.I have been struggling though, but now I know that there is more to life than just an exam. This calmness has helped me get that laser focus back. I am lonely still, but my view of life has changed. I may be alone most of the times, but I know I’m not alone with many who are alone like me. I may be alone, but I understand that being alone is not a disadvantage but can certainly be an advantage. I may be alone but my thoughts don’t tread on the negative. I may be alone, but I’ve somehow started to enjoy my own company. I have more clarity of purpose than I’ve ever had.I have appeared yet again this time, but I know for a fact that this is going to be my one last attempt at it. If I succeed, well and good. If I don’t I know I’ve given it my all.I am 26 and a half and no longer the person I was when I started out at 20. If not for this loneliness, I would have never known that I am a fighter and not a loser and a total failure that I thought myself to be. :)Life is one. Enjoy and make the most of it. Cheers everyone! :)EDIT: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this far and more so to the nice people who’ve commented. I’m truly grateful for your kind words of encouragement. More power to you all! :)

“[T]he history of the Soviet Union's entry into the Second World War continues to be a "painful" topic for Russia. A striking example of this is the commercial success of the extremely tendentious book by Suvorov (Rezun) "Icebreaker."One of Suvorov's more important opponents since the mid-1980`s is the author of this book (The Icebreaker Myth), the historian Professor Gabriel Gorodetsky, director of the The Cummings Center for Russian and East European Studies at Tel Aviv University. Polemizing with Suvorov, Gorodetsky proves the insolvency and provocativeness of Suvorov's versions on an extensive factual material.”(The Icebreaker Myth)Back to the title question.Did Stalin know Germany was going to invade the Soviet Union before Operation Barbarossa?Part I.Yes, of course, he did. Everyone did know that sooner or later, the Nazis will invade USSR. More than that - the future allies did whatever within their power to make Hitler headbutt Stalin, the commies, the bolsheviks. It is trivial.It is much more important to know, what Stalin did know else — about the geopolitical constellation before Operation Barbarossa, for instance, about the state-of-art of the MIC, about the Red Army’s state of preparedness, and about many more suchlike vital matters. We too often encounter answers by dilettante psychologists about Stalin’s paranoia, armchair strategists blabbering away in the spirit of Leo Tolstoy’s satire ‘... die Erste Kolonne marschiert. . . die Zweite Kolonne marschiert. . . die Dritte Kolonne marschiert...’ and autodidact historians who seek and find their info in cheap ersatz-historical waste paper like Suvorov's Icebreaker, lecturing about the enormous impact the lend-lease contributed up to denying any role the Soviet Army played in the defeat of Nazism. See for instance that masterpiece below — Commemorative medal in honor of the victory in the Second World War. What flag is missing on it? Right - the USSR.The topic is inexhaustible. I will limit myself to the opinion of Professor Jorge Ganzenmuller. You can read it here. I used a online interpreter to translate from Russian.“[S]talin knew that Hitler would sooner or later attack the Soviet Union. He counted on the fact that if Hitler embarks into a war with Western states, he, given the experience of the lost WWI, would not dare to wage war on two fronts. Stalin was confident that in case Hitler attacks Poland and the Western countries declare war on Nazi Germany, it would be a protracted war. And while Hitler will "sort out" the Western countries, the Soviet Union will remain on the sidelines of hostilities and will be able to strengthen its armed forces.”We need to explain now why Stalin was sure that Hitler would get engaged in a prolonged war against Poland and France. The answer we find in Liddell's study of World War II.“[T]he Poles and the French together had about 130 divisions against 98 German divisions, of which 36 were virtually untrained and understaffed. Poland and France had an even greater advantage over Germany in terms of the number of trained soldiers. The only positive factor for Germany with such an unfavorable balance of power was the fact that France and Poland terrestrially were separated.And yet, even numerically, the Poles had enough strength to hold up the 48 regular divisions thrown against them.”We know how all that ended. The France and Poland collapsed like a house of cards under the first strikes of the Wehrmacht.And that was the most morbid surprise for Stalin and his companions-in-arms.Here, from this point on, begins the story of the mass evacuation of the population, of the industrial enterprises and their personnel with or without families to the East, the story of the Perestroika of the army under fire, and terrible battles of the Great Patriotic War.But this is a topic for another day.Part II. Edit.There is an interesting document in front of me [[PDF] Barbarossa: Planning For Operational Failure | Semantic Scholar].It looks like a dissertation, in which the author, after a rоw of scholarly reasoning, concludes:In summary, it was not the plans which were defective, but the ASSUMPTIONS which were maintained by the planners which resulted in the failure of the process (sic!). Most certainly there were other factors such as disunity among the command organizations, but German beliefs about themselves and their enemy were the primary factors which resulted in their demise. This is an extraordinary example of how inherent beliefs and assumptions can affect the thought processes of military planners. A close look at the major plans which were discussed earlier, reveals that although objectives and force deployment projections differed, the underlying assumptions remained similar. Therefore it can be concluded that the misapplication of the Principles of War, was directly related to the maintenance of faulty assumptions. In this instance we are afforded the luxury of historical analysis. It is imperative for future planners to clear their minds of inherent prejudices and attitudes while they go about their task.Well, except for the first sentence, which appears somewhat strange to me, the rest of the text seems to meet the standards of scientific rigor adopted in the Navy. It is particularly noteworthy that the author does not mention Rezun (Suvorov), which indicates that he is not looking for easy ways in life.And yet, even though the whole professor guided the work, it fails to stipulate why in the last count, the Nazis lost the war.Look at the chart below. You can find one like that on every door of any hotel room. It is an Evacuation plan to be implemented in case of a fire.A smart reader has already understood the hint. Can you imagine a madman who would delay the preparations of such a plan until the fire breaks out? No, of course, not.From July to November 1941, over 2743, included 1523 large scale (employing over 1000 workers) industrial enterprises on their machinery, personnel, their families other civilians, the total of approx 10-12 million people, thousands, and thousands of tons of cargo were evacuated to locations out of reach of the Nazi bombers. The paperwork that preceded that Cyclopean work was of such detail and precision that in time when they loaded the last piece of equipment in the place of origin, the relocated factory started to send tanks, aircraft, you name it to the front. By the end of 1942, the industrial output had increased over twofold its 1940 level.It was at this time when it became clear whose side was winning when the Americans started the Lend-lease deliveries.Only a man, who drives nails into а place with a screwdriver, and the screws - with a hammer, a man who never has seen an industrial factory from the inside can think that it is possible to prepare the documentation for such titanic breakthrough in a day or two. I wouldn't trust such a man to solve the wolf, goat, and cabbage transportation problem, not to mention having him lecturing what and why the Soviet won the cruelest in the whole written history war.Nobody doubts the engineering know-how of the Germans. That is why, I think, they were sure that such a mission, such a transfer is impossible. The Germans knew it. No, they must be thinking, it’s impossible, we will destroy the Red Army in the blitz, take Moscow, and as a bonus, we will have their whole industry, food reserves, cattle, you name it in our hands abandoned by the Untermenschen in a stampede.We don’t know at which stage Stalin decides that they need plans of evacuation — was it before they sign the MP Pact or after, but turns out that Stalin knew better. The evacuation plan worked like a clock, and supply lines to the front never ceased operating only continuously increased the flow. The Germans, so to say, failed to tear off the Russian Antaeus from the Motherland. That was the main reason why Hitler lost, and Stalin won the war. The rest is history.Illustrations at Эвакуировать Советский Союз: как спасли промышленность (Evacuate the USSR: Save industry)

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