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1Fundamental Techniques in Handling People........1.1)" if u want to kick over honey don't kick over there believe"don"t judge others or criticize other it makes them down and sad try to think in their point of view and make them realise why they are wrong e.g(construction site hat story, Abraham Lincon behaviour at teenage fight at river how he realise and it shown in war issue with journal he don't scold him ,an aircraft problem ,air craft was fall bya technical issues was done by mechanical engineer the pilot don't scold the engineer he say like this u are a great engineer don't repeat this again I know you don't do that I gave my next flight you to make technical analysis)1.2)"the biggest secrets of dealing with people "..........all are eagerly waiting for apperation,give a genuine apperation which make them happy and put more effort towards their work and they want to prove that they can do more better,and to see more apperation from you.which makes them happy and more over they will always remember you the way of your encouragement,and make them they. Where loyal to you.(eg: office boy dustbin issue he don't work properly all office staff scold him about the work one day one officer say u are a great person u can do anything from the next day he starts doing well and office staff also starts giving apperation towards his work, 2)officer sends a bouquet to his wife how create his doing work in the home written on a paper and send it to it to his home)1.3)"he who can do this the whole world was with him"..... . try to create curiosity about the other person of your Idea by thinking in there perception don't say all things in your way about your perspective and your ideas in your way make them think in your ideas to how it was write and create a perception to to make your work ok for you and there for them also.Eg:( a shopkeeper selling their products to the customer, don't make selling try to make them to purchase the product create curiosity about the product how the product is used to fill to them 2) how to make ek to control the kids in samll age think what they want and what you want it can do by what they want to do by saying if you do that try this I will do that for you it like creating mutual benefit ex: oill station an old man inspired by the other advance station make home to upgrade his station also like that and increase his sales with an upgrade )Chapter 2Ways to Make People Like You.2.1)How to make love towards you by others1) try to be curious and love about other don't think always about You think about others also ex : magic man he love his audience,and feel their emotions give more entertainment when he start magic he say thank you ,I love you all for attending this show then he start the magic show.President shows love even to a cook also,Try to some thing to others , don't be selfish , wishes them on there birthday,2 a reporter want to get information from the president one day but the president was not willing to give because his son collects stamps on that day he don't receive any stamps so he was out of mood ,next I understand his problem and collect all the stamps from our bank ,and went to him to give these stamps , president was so surprised and after some time he start giving all the information what I want to get without even asking him he call so many people and get some files regards the topic and give me in simple terms it was jackpot to me.2.2)How to influence others quickly?Facial expression was the most important think is smille (it shows love towards others)"Who can't smile they are not eligible to open shop or a business "2.3)If u don't do this u will fallen in trouble?Recognition of the other person name or remember the other person name every person love the sound of his name.2.4)" an easy. Way to become good conversation list ? "Be a good listener, try too encourage them to say about themself... Listening about pain, sadness, knowledge,...make the opponent to feel better because of your listener.2.5)"how to create interest to others ? "Talk in terms of other person intrest it makes them to curious and shows interest towards you....2.6)" How to make people like you instantly? "Make the other person feel important__ and do it sincerely.. try to applaud their work, it make them feel happy...Chapter 3How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking..3.1)"you can't win with the argument "?If u want win argument then don't argument with others because it will create negative walls between you and other ,may be their points are right, argument leads to break the relationship.3.2)" A sure way of making enemies how to avoid it ?"U can argue with eyes, face expressions as words but don't use your words , other person feel like you are punching with words and he starts either defending or starts punching creates a negative walls between you.Try to be smart than others but never let them to know your smartness try to keep it as a secret by using the smart Ness. A famous writer says "I know only one thing, that is that I know nothing"Say like this "well,now ,look ,I thought otherwise , but it may be wrong. I frequently am,if I was wrong, I want to be put right,let me examine the facts""Show respect to the other person opinions, never say you are wrong"3.3)" If you are wrong admit it "If you are wrong, heart fully accept it3.4)A drop of honeyWe can solve everything in peace way, pleasing way ,in a requesting way it makes your work done as soon as possible.if you ask others like harsh it hurt others also so he don't do your work.Air and sun story about removing coat in a bet.Start in a friendship way." A drop of honey attracts more fly's than a gallon of poison" .3.5)The secret of Socrates" Get the other person say yes, yes immediately "3.6)The safety valve in handling complaintsDon't speak about your greatness give a chance to others also" Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. "3.7)HOW TO GET COOPERATION ?Ex : takking feedback from customers to make products as per their interest ." The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountainstreams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all themountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself belowthem; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though hisplace be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them,they do not count it an injury.”- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.3.8)8 - A FORMULA THAT WILL WORK WONDERS FOR YOU"I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours beforean interview,” said Dean Donham of the Harvard business school 🏫an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I wasgoing to say and what that person - from my knowledge of his or her interests andmotives - was likely to answer.If, as a result of reading this book, you get only one thing - an increased tendency tothink always in terms of the other person’s point of view, and see things from thatperson’s angle as well as your own - if you get only that one thing from this book, itmay easily prove to be one of the stepping - stones of your careerPRINCIPLE 8 - Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.3.9)9 - WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS ?Dr. Arthur I. Gates said in his splendid book Educational Psychology: “Sympathythe human species universally craves. The child eagerly displays his injury; or eveninflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy. For the same purposeadults . . . show their bruises, relate their accidents, illness, especially details ofsurgical operations. ‘Self-pity’ for misfortunes real or imaginary is in somemeasure, practically a universal practice."So, if you want to win people to your way of thinking, put in practice . . .PRINCIPLE 9 - Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.3.10)AN APPEAL THAT EVERYBODY LIKES...“Experience has taught me,” says Mr. Thomas, "that when no information can besecured about the customer, the only sound basis on which to proceed is to assume that he or she is sincere, honest, truthful and willing and anxious to pay the charges,once convinced they are correct. To put it differently and perhaps mare clearly,people are honest and want to discharge their obligations. The exceptions to thatrule are comparatively few, and I am convinced that the individuals who areinclined to chisel will in most cases react favorably if you make them feel that youconsider them honest, upright and fair."PRINCIPLE 10 - Appeal to the nobler motives...3.11)11 - THE MOVIES DO IT. TV DOES IT....WHY DON’T YOU DO IT?“Last week I called on a neighborhood grocer and saw that the cash registers he wasusing at his checkout counters were very old-fashioned. I approached the owner andtold him: ‘You are literally throwing away pennies every time a customer goesthrough your line.’ With that I threw a handful of pennies on the floor. He quicklybecame more attentive. The mere words should have been of interest to him, but thesound of Pennies hitting the floor really stopped him. I was able to get an orderfrom him to replace all of his old machines."PRINCIPLE 11 - Dramatize your ideas.3.12)- WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS, TRY THIS...“How is it,” Schwab asked him, “that a manager as capable as you can’t make thismill turn out what it should?”"I don’t know,” the manager replied. “I’ve coaxed the men, I’ve pushed them, I’vesworn and cussed, I’ve threatened them with damnation and being fired. Butnothing works. They just won’t produce.”This conversation took place at the end of the day, just before the night shift cameon. Schwab asked the manager for a piece of chalk, then, turning to the nearest man,asked: “How many heats did your shift make today?”"Six."Without another word, Schwab chalked a big figure six on the floor, and walkedaway.When the night shift came in, they saw the “6” and asked what it meant.“The big boss was in here today,” the day people said. “He asked us how manyheats we made, and we told him six. He chalked it down on the floor.”The next morning Schwab walked through the mill again. The night shift hadrubbed out “6” and replaced it with a big “7.”When the day shift reported for work the next morning, they saw a big “7” chalkedon the floor. So the night shift thought they were better than the day shift did they?Well, they would show the night shift a thing or two. The crew pitched in withenthusiasm, and when they quit that night, they left behind them an enormous,swaggering "10." Things were stepping up.Shortly this mill, which had been lagging way behind in production, was turningout more work than any other mill in the plant .PRINCIPLE 12 - Throw down a challenge.Chapter 4How to Change People Without Giving Offense...4.1)1 - IF YOU MUST FIND FAULT, THIS IS THE WAY TO BEGINBeginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. Thepatient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing. A leader will use . . .PRINCIPLE 1 - Begin with praise and honest appreciation .4.2)2 - HOW TO CRITICIZE....AND NOT BE HATED FOR IT .Charles Schwab was passing through one of his steel mills one day at noon when hecame across some of his employees smoking. Immediately above their heads was asign that said “No Smoking.” Did Schwab point to the sign and say, “Can’t youread.? Oh, no not Schwab. He walked over to the men, handed each one a cigar, andsaid, “I’ll appreciate it, boys, if you will smoke these on the outside.” They knewthat he knew that they had broken a rule - and they admired him because he saidnothing about it and gave them a little present and made them feel important.Couldn’t keep from loving a man like that, could you ?Don't use but word instead use andPRINCIPLE 2 - Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly4.3)3 - TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN MISTAKES FIRST“Naturally, I didn’t want David to smoke,” Mr. Zerhusen told us, “but his motherand I smoked cigarettes; we were giving him a bad example all the time. I explainedto Dave how I started smoking at about his age and how the nicotine had gotten thebest of me and now it was nearly impossible for me to stop. I reminded him howirritating my cough was and how he had been after me to give up cigarettes notmany years before."I didn’t exhort him to stop or make threats or warn him about their dangers. All Idid was point out how I was hooked on cigarettes and what it had meant to me.“He thought about it for a while and decided he wouldn’t smoke until he hadgraduated from high school. As the years went by David never did start smokingand has no intention of ever doing so.“As a result of that conversation I made the decision to stop smoking cigarettesmyself, and with the support of my family, I have succeeded.”A good leader follows this principle:PRINCIPLE 3 - Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person .4.4)4 - NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE ORDERS...Don't give orders just guide others...When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa, the general manager of asmall manufacturing plant specializing in precision machine parts, had theopportunity to accept a very large order, he was convinced that he would not meetthe promised delivery date. The work already scheduled in the shop and the shortcompletion time needed for this order made it seem impossible for him to accept theorder.Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work and rush the order through, hecalled everybody together, explained the situation to them, and told them how muchit would mean to the company and to them if they could make it possible to producethe order on time.Then he started asking questions:“Is there anything we can do to handle this order?”“Can anyone think of different ways to process it through the shop that will make itpossible to take the order?”“Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel assignments that would help?”The employees came up with many ideas and insisted that he take the order. Theyapproached it with a “We can do it” attitude, and the order was accepted, producedand delivered on time.An effective leader will use . . .PRINCIPLE 4 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.4.5)5 - LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE..Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy egoby causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and authorAntoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: "I have no right to say or do anything thatdiminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but whathe thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”A real leader will always follow . . .PRINCIPLE 5 - Let the other person save face .4.6)6 - HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON TO SUCCESSPRINCIPLE 6 - Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”4.7)7 - GIVE A DOG A GOOD NAMEOne morning Dr. Martin Fitzhugh, a dentist in Dublin, Ireland, was shocked whenone of his patients pointed out to him that the metal cup holder which she was usingto rinse her mouth was not very clean. True, the patient drank from the paper cup,not the holder, but it certainly was not professional to use tarnished equipment.When the patient left, Dr. Fitzhugh retreated to his private office to write a note toBridgit, the charwoman, who came twice a week to clean his office. He wrote:My dear Bridgit,I see you so seldom, I thought I’d take the time to thank you for the fine job ofcleaning you’ve been doing. By the way, I thought I’d mention that since two hours,twice a week, is a very limited amount of time, please feel free to work an extra halfhour from time to time if you feel you need to do those “once-in-a-while” thingslike polishing the cup holders and the like. I, of course, will pay you for the extratime.“The next day, when I walked into my office,” Dr. Fitzhugh reported, "My desk hadbeen polished to a mirror-like finish, as had my chair, which I nearly slid out of.When I went into the treatment room I found the shiniest, cleanest chrome-platedcup holder I had ever seen nestled in its receptacle. I had given my char-woman afine reputation to live up to, and because of this small gesture she outperformed allher past efforts. How much additional time did she spend on this? That’s right-noneat all ."There is an old saying: “Give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang him.”But give him a good name - and see what happensPRINCIPLE 7 - Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.4.8)8 - MAKE THE FAULT SEEM EASY TO CORRECT...principle 8 - use encouragement. make the fault seem easy to correct.4.9)9 - MAKING PEOPLE GLAD TO DO WHAT YOU WANT...The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it isnecessary to change attitudes or behavior:1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about thebenefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other personthe idea that he personally will benefit. We could give a curt order like thisPRINCIPLE 9 - Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest .