Guide To Responsible Family Drug And Alcohol Testing: Fill & Download for Free

My boyfriend (we’ll call him Adam), the father of our 9 month old twins, overdosed on bath salts almost two months ago.We didn’t see it coming. He just came home one night in the middle of the night, frantic, muttering under his breath half the time and telling the names of random people we knew the other half. He stripped shortly after, ripped his hair out in handfuls, and began to destroy everything we had in our little apartment.I wrestled with him for half an hour before help arrived, desperately trying to keep him out of the babies’ room where he thought there were people hiding from him trying to pillage our home. Shortly after that, he’d lost the rest of his coherence and it was nothing more I could do than to keep him from running outside like he repeatedly did, screaming at the top of his lungs at 2AM.My mother arrived (I’d called her before I understood the gravity of the situation), and I leaned out the front door as he was crouched on the floor, gnawing on my leg, and instructed her to call the police.I had never seen someone tweak before. We had smoked weed, but drugs of that nature had never permeated our lives.The police arrived as I ran one baby, my son, out to my mother. The officer heard him smashing things inside and didn’t bother with me, he didn’t even hear me say that my other child was still in there. That’s when the second officer arrived and tried to divulge information from me, but I was frantic, trying to tell him my baby was still inside. He wouldn’t let back in.Shock was setting in, my heart was racing and I felt like I was suffocating. He insisted my baby was out here, paid my words little heed, until my mother interjected that this kid had a twin, still trapped in the house with him, and that Adam was having “what looks like a bad trip”. The officer inside called for help and I heard Adam scream. The cop and I bolted towards the house, and he didn’t stop me. Adam was in the walkway that led back to the bedrooms, one officer on top and the other flanking him. A sofa was between them and myself, and I jumped it, running straight back and grabbing my daughter. She had never stirred over all the commotion.My mother, my babies and I waited out in her freezing car for 20 minutes as more cops arrived and the hurricane inside continued. Screaming, yelling, banging. I was shaking, and my kids were wrapped in a half wet towel. I don’t know if I dropped in on the ground, or I’d just been crying that much, but they were oddly calm even though I’d woken them at 3AM and our home was falling apart, the yelling and the lights everything. They shivered in my lap.The deputy ran out huffing, demanding to know what he took, cursing at me, telling me there’s no way I didn’t know, that Adam would die if I didn’t spill the beans. “What is it? Bath salts? PCP? That’s the only shit that does some fucked up shit like that.” I cried harder. He balled his fists and shook his head at me, “Have it your way,” and went back into the carnage.Soon, EMTs arrived. They administered two doses of tranquillizer, and the apartment got quieter. Ten minutes later, Adam came out on a stretcher in restraints looking livid, but dazed. His toes wouldn’t stop wiggling erratically, and I was just glad he couldn’t see me hiding in the car so I didn’t have to look whatever that was in the eyes. Whatever was behind them was no longer human.~There was so much more to this story that I couldn’t tell, a lot that I’ve blocked out and a lot that I don’t wish to relive. There was a point of coherence when he did speak to me, but I refuse repeating what he said because it damaged me permanently.He was in a medically induced coma for four days. Nothing showed up on his tox screens, but designer drugs usually don’t, because they’re always changing the concoctions.The police and EMTs all began to trip after coming into contact with his skin. The compounds were excreted through his sweat. His life flight crew was unaware and they had to cycle everyone transporting him into the ER.He lived. He shouldn’t have, it would have killed almost anyone, but by some miracle he did and suffered no brain damage. They used his case as a research study because no one else had survived this reaction of such a scale. He was petrified when he’d learned what happened.It was supposed to be acid, his first time trying it. And now, I’m confident his last. But our lives will never be the same from the consequences he’s going to have to suffer.DON’T. DO. DRUGS.Your first time will likely be your last.EDIT:I’ve decided to speak more on the subject, shedding as much light as possible to help anyone who may experience this.Bath salts often don’t show up on tox screens. Check your facts. The compounds change often. They’re sold in headshops and gas stations legally, because of a label that reads, “Not for human consumption”. Legislators try to keep up and outlaw these compounds, but effects are easy to reproduce by changing the type of toilet cleaner they add. (Exaggeration, but it really is that simple.£The substance was research chemical 25-i nBOME. We discovered this because his father (well-networked in our town) used my boyfriend’s phone to make contact with the “dealer”. I think that guy knew something was up, because he messaged him on Snapchat saying, “Hey you ok?” This was after there was a sufficient amount of time for rumours to fly. My boyfriend was in a medically induced coma at this point, transported to a major hospital about three hours away. His father sent him a photo of Adam, with the response, “Yeah, having the time of my life with that shit you gave me.”Dealer began freaking out, “Dude I swear I tested it, it’s real, I wouldn’t sell fake shit!!! I’ll show you the tester just please don’t mention my name, I just got off probation”.He sent an image, and we pored over it. We couldn’t believe what we were seeing. A family friend of ours had a similar experience with the same drug and took to educating himself on substances and reactions, he was very close with Adam and had been trying to make his way to the hospital. We sent him the image to confirm what we saw. The colors were close, if you’re color blind they could have been misconstrued, but it was simple to tell for us. These tabs he was selling were 25-i.25–i is one of the most potent and dangerous compounds under the bath salts umbrella, a cathinone. It only takes about “a few grains of table salt” at purity to achieve a high. It’s easy and cheap to manufacture, and on the dark web sells much much cheaper than real LSD, while supposedly is able to produce the same effects. In high amounts/purity, it causes your nervous system to short out and your heart rate to skyrocket. You experience paranoid hallucinations; many people who OD on bath salts describe a “dark hell”.Adam said it felt like he was running backwards down dark tunnel, looking at the real world receding away. He doesn’t remember much else, thankfully, because that chilled my blood to hear. I told him not to tell me anything else, and instead consult another family member or his therapist. I don’t want to know what else he was experiencing. Watching his body react was enough. That night was my own dark hell.As far as our relationship goes, yes, we’re still together. He’s not evil, or selfish, at the time he was just careless and frustrated with his life, he was looking for something to break up the monotony. This was in fact, his first endeavor with drugs beyond cannabis. Dealer confirmed that, and confirmed the peer pressure involved (though, unfortunately, by Adam’s admission, it didn’t take much).I didn’t plan on staying with him, but I couldn’t leave him in such vulnerability during his recovery. Maybe I should have, but when your life turns upside in one night and the person you’ve spent day and night with for three years is down…I didn’t have it in my to turn him away.Though it took only a few days, he had to relearn to walk, read, and regain fine motor control. Initially when he opened his eyes, he was disoriented and temporarily blind (cause undetermined). He was missing years from his life, recognized but didn’t know me, and didn’t recall having children. This cleared up in about two days, and he regained his bearings quickly, but he was still very weak. He’d endured a lot of muscle and heart damage.Upon discharge, he was referred to a drug and alcohol specialist, along with a mental health behavioralist. He undergoes weekly drug testing. He’s recovered incredibly, and life is honestly better than before, now that he’s getting instruction on coping mechanisms and proper communication…and now, he’s finally grateful for the life that we have, after thinking he’d lost it all during his fit.Before, everything was just another chore or obligation, his job, our kids, maintaining a healthy relationship with those around him.DCFS spoke with our family, and they are offering us a variety of resources to help us over this hump, both psychologically and financially.Our lives are as peaceful as before, with many resources to help us maintain that peace. Now the only remnants of that night are the memories I carry.And the possibility of criminal charges. Still waiting on that one.*knock on wood*Believe my anecdote or not, it doesn’t matter. But keep it somewhere in your subconscious, you could tell the same story next. If anything, take this as a precautionary fairytale.Do your research. You could save someone you love.Additional Edit:I don’t know if anyone is following this story, but I’d like to post an update that I find very relevant, if not tragic in its own way. The event described above occurred on October 22, 2018. Adam’s behavior declined rapidly over the following months. Infidelity, relapse with marijuana use, and stopping rehabilitative treatment after four months. He stopped coming home at night.I found out from friends that he began having auditory hallucinations in May of 2019, and visual hallucinations that increased in severity in July. He became short-tempered and violent in August, and began sleeping with other women. I terminated the relationship, and he’d come to see the kids once or twice a week. He stayed with various friends at this time that I found out were encouraging the behavior and drug use.On the morning of October 22, 2019, he had what I assume to be a psychotic break, and held me at knifepoint in our living room. I began to recite scripture as he held the knife to my face, and I think he was realizing what he was doing, and bolted. I contacted police, and he was taken into custody that day. He’s been detained in our county jail ever since, and his plea hearing is coming up this week.I feel so much regret for not turning my back on him in 2018. My kids won’t remember these events, but the traumas will still follow them. I prayed for his recovery, and worked so hard to guide him, but the damage had been done. I feel like a failure as a parent and a responsible human being for not running at the beginning of the end. I must constantly remind myself that I endured all of this and my children and I are safe, and the quality of my life has improved significantly without him in it. Things have gotten harder, yes. Money is tighter and my attention is spread thinner than ever, I’ve had to get a second job and my twins are two now (for anyone who’s spent any amount of time with a toddler, you know exactly what I mean).I wanted to update this to come back to it later. I guess this answer has been documentation on how that night made my life spiral, and maybe soon, how I’ll build it back up. Reading over all of this never ceases to give me chills and the afterimage of all the fear I felt that first night.

Thank you for the A2A, Emilie!My narcissistic ex used many of the common strategies that we read about when I asked him for a divorce. For the sake of your request, I will list them here:1 – He immediately quit his job and bought a plane ticket back to his country in order to avoid paying child support (and was engaged to someone else in less than a month).2 – He started an embarrassing smear campaign and told everyone he knew that I was a drug-addicted prostitute. In reality, I was teaching elementary school and trying to raise my kids as a single mother.3 – He hired a private investigator who didn’t mind doing illegal things for the right price. As such, they installed remote spyware on my phone (I had an android then), and obtained access to my phone calls, voice messages, emails, and even activated the microphone on my phone in order to listen in on my private conversations. They were also able to track my whereabouts so that they would always know my location.4 – He got one of his family members to stalk me. They knew when I returned from work (or anywhere) and what clothes I was wearing. He liked to let me know that he knew what I was wearing so I would feel violated and that I had no privacy. It was also a great cover to make me think he was still in the states.5 – He canceled my car insurance without telling me. Then, when I got pulled over for a broken taillight, my license was confiscated (for driving without insurance) and I had to pay $700 to have it reinstated and was also forced to purchase costly SR22 insurance.6 – When he’d call my phone and I wouldn’t answer, he would call 911 and tell them he was concerned for our son. The police came to my apartment several times until they realized he was just a control freak.7 – Once, he called the police and told them I was drunk and unable to care for our son (who was still a baby at the time). The police came, gave me the alcohol test, and determined he was trying to build a false case against me. They informed him that he was wasting their resources and that if he did it again, they would take our son and put him in the custody of child services. His response was, “Maybe that would be better for our son”. (Absolutely no care for the welfare of our son’s mental health).These are only the things I can recall right off the cuff, since I left him over ten years ago. Needless to say, narcissists are very nasty in the case of divorce, especially if we are the ones who initiate it. All of these things are pretty much the standard. This is why I tell folks to NEVER make verbal agreements with the narcissist in their life when it comes to divorce. Always use an attorney. At the very least, write things down and get it notarized together. This may or may not be binding depending on the state in which you live.Kim Saeed - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and Victim AdvocateAuthor of the Kindle bestseller: How To Do No Contact Like A Boss!: The Essential Guide to Detaching from Pathological Love & Reclaiming Your Lifewww.kimsaeed.com

1.THE FASHIONHair rollers were necessary to make fashionable sophisticated hair styles and all women used hair curlers. Curly hairstyle was fashionable.Head Scarves. Women were wearing head scarves... This trend was pretty popular anywhere from the 1950s. The greats in my book such as Audrey Hepburn, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe and more used to were their scarves like this.There were no hoodies. Women had head scarves in winterFur coats were very fashionable in the Northern countries and were made of natural fur.Man Hairstyles. Cry-Baby Hair, Taper Haircut, Ducktail, Asymmetrical Hairline, Greaser hairstyle, Lateral comb over, Pompadour, Ivy league…If you feel like you want to stand out of the crowd, opt for Pompadours, Cowlicks, and DAs. If not, then Crew cuts, Greaser variations and Ivy league are the way to go. Since 1950s, the famous Elvis Presley’s Pompadour hairstyle with different variations had never go out of style. The Ducktail, or also known as the Duck's tail hairdo, another one of the most popular 1950s men's hairstyles was the Ivy League haircut.Women had long dressesBlond-haired women were fashionable. Peroxide hair were popular.2. SEXY FLIGHT ATTENDENTSAmerican flight attendants had uniforms designed by Pierre Balmain, Halston and Emilio Pucci, as well as other notable names. In 1950s, the stewardess was a model of sorts—each woman had to measure a certain height and weight proportion (a 5'4" woman couldn't weigh more than 125 pounds in order to apply for a stewardess position with American Airlines), and was required to be single and attractive. Teeth had to be white and even, without any visible defects, and hands had to be well-groomed with no signs of nail-biting, according to National Airlines.The Swedish SAS airline stewardess Birgitta Lindman examines a showgirls costume due to the rumors about shorter skirts for flight attendants.While none of those practices would fly now, the uniforms themselves were indicative of the current fashions that were sweeping the nation from spectator shoes to go-go boots and wool capes to hot pants.3. THE ENTERTAINMENTAtomic Tourism. Las Vegas hotels offered panoramic views of the distant desert skyline for the optimum nuclear bomb experience for tourists. Over 12 years, there was a detonation every three weeks, each one a source of immense pride, patriotism, and dollars for the city of Las Vegas. The Chamber of Commerce published a calendar of the bomb schedule, including the best places to see the clouds.Atomic Lunch Boxes. Tourists packed cars and drove out to the desert to get a closer look to the nuclear bomb exposition, carrying dinner in "atomic lunch boxes," of course.Mushroom Cloud Hairdos. Women sported mushroom clouds as hairdos and as costumes in beauty pageants. Atomic bombs were fashionable. Nuclear tourism was flourishing.Atomic City Las Vegas. The city of Las Vegas transformed itself into “Atomic City, USA,” with atomic cocktails, atomic hairdos, and atomic festivities. Many casinos hosted “dawn bomb parties,” extravaganzas that drew visitors to witness one of the greatest shows on earth—a nuclear explosion.Alcoholic “Atomic Cocktail” Drink. Specialty drinks included the “Atomic Cocktail,” a near-toxic concoction of vodka, brandy, cognac, sherry, and champagne over ice, shaken well, then poured into an oversized champagne glass and topped off with an orange wedge on the rim.Miss Atomic Bomb. This marketing frenzy also ushered in “Miss Atomic Bomb,” the apocalyptic pin-up girl of the 1950s. Arms spread above her head in a “V,” and a cotton mushroom cloud affixed to her white bikini, the image has become an iconic symbol of carefree Vegas kitsch set against a background of unfathomable power and destruction.. There's little known about Miss Atomic Bomb herself besides her stage name, Lee A. MerlinAtomic-Powered Elvis Presley. In April 1956, a young rock n' roller, billed as “America's only atomic-powered” singer, played nightly at The New Frontier Hotel. His real name—Elvis Presley. Since Nevada had gained fame as the home of atomic testing, Colonel Parker thought the name was catchy and booked Elvis for two-weeks engagement at The New Frontier HotelAtomic Tourism Was Promoted by the USA Government. The government coordinated a very successful public relations campaign to downplay the potential nuclear danger and highlight the patriotic aims of this Cold War-era pursuit, handing out guides to Nevada schoolchildren. A USA government said there would be little danger to Vegas, if people were exposed to radiation they could take showers. But many working onsite and those who lived close by — who call themselves as "Downwinders" — developed serious illnesses and cancers due to nuclear exposure, they saw their children die prematurely as a result.4. AUTOMOBILESPrivate car was a luxuryTo throw the garbage from the car window was a normCars had a lot of mechanical parts, therefore it was easy to replace them without professional help. The iron was thicker and better quality.The car interior was a masterpiece. A far cry from the rubbish black interiors we got in the '00s, the colourful interior of 50s was one of the more outlandish of all time.The period of 1950s was a kind of phenomenon in the American auto industry, when incredible models, incredible colors and technical solutions were introduced:Manufacturer made double color cars:Perhaps a new youth philosophy of ‘sex, drugs, and rock & roll’ influenceed such design, from that mixture the most epoch-making car, the American icon called the Chevrolet Bel Air, was born. That style remind me the Hip Hop culture of 00s.5. THE EDUCATIONTeachers could beat and verbally offend studentsParents could punish children with beating in public.Random people could spank kids for bad behaviour.For self-defense, boys were advised to beat their abuser rather than complain to the teachers. Complaining to teachers was considered a self-humiliating and bad act. Physical fight at schools was a norm. In 1950s male feminity was not acceptable yet. Weakness was a shame.School bullying was a norm. School bulling often led to suicides or killing.Girls and boys were in separate classes or schools .Students wrote in ink and rewrote the entire text in case of an error or ink blot. There was no correction fluid pen and no way to cover up the ink blots.School uniformThe University education 100% guaranteed high salary and rich life.The concept of childhood and adolescence has been changed. In 1950s, since the young age older children babysitted younger siblings while parents were at work, this was the norm back then. Children were expected to start assuming adult responsibility like working or supporting the family as soon as possible.Elementary schools had Technology lessons (The Art of Doing Stuff), that provided general skills in housework (sewing, embroidery, darning, knitting, on knitting needles, macramé) and other general skills. Starting from the 5th grade, girls and boys are taught Technology classes separately. Boys studied carpentry, metal cutting, work on machine tools. And girls’ lessons included cooking, cutting, sewing , knitting.6. THE FAMILYIt’s no secret that things were quite a bit different for women in the 1950s. Girls married young, often around 16. Ladies often were expected to stay home, to have 4-5 kids, take care of the kids, make the house look nice, and generally do all the of the cooking and cleaning. This job was what many little girls dreamed of and they had been preparing for it their whole lives by helping in the kitchen and learning homemaking skills from Mom and in home economics classes. Good Wife Guide from the American magazine, 1955:The society was patriarchalDivorcing considered shameful and inappropriate act. Wives preferred to die rather than divorce.Women had always take husband’s family name.To be a housewife and mother was considered a hard job. Housewife status was blessed, respected and very appreciated by the society.In 1950s, the kitchen was exclusively female territory. Being married, a man didn't have to cook. In the presence of a woman in the house, men absolutely were not supposed to be in the kitchen. Husbands did not wash the dishes. Today men became very independent and became able to perform all kitchen duties.Most of products were reusable. It was very little amount of disposable products back then.People darned socks using the darning technique to repair holes with a darning mushroom. All women had sewing machines at home and knew how to make dresses. Older people knew how to make a soap by themselves and had never throw anything.Europe was destroyed and devastated after the war. There were tens of millions of widows, orphans, handicapped people in Europe. They were hungry.After the war, it was millions single women in Europe because very few men survivedThe urbanisation. Everyone dreamed to live in the big city. Millions abandoned their big houses in rural areas and relocated to small urban flats in the big cities. Urbanism became fashionable. Farming was dispised.After the war in Europe, due to the shortage of urban housing, families lived in shared apartments where each family had only one room, the facilities were shared.7. THE HEALTHSmoking was fashionable, people were smoking everywhere.Heroin was a legal medicine against the cough. Cocaine was sold without prescription in all pharmacies as a best medicine against headache, depression and obesity.Cannabis was legal. The USSR was a leading cannabis producing and seller in the world. 80% of the world's total area under cannabis was in the USSR with granted special privileges and advantages for hemp crops on homesteads, backyards and floodplains.Homosexuality and prostitution were criminalised.Before dispensable plastic glasses were introduced, the whole city drank soda from the vending street machines from the same one glass and nobody got sick with anything.Husbands were not allowed to enter to the hospital’s maternity department . They stood on the street, smoked and waited.Dental hygiene was poor. Gold teeth were popular.Mandatory smile was not necessary among commoners yet, therefore yellow teeth were still ok in the USA and all over the world.Tooth powder was before toothpaste was introducedHygienic Pads. While tampons were available from the 1930s, many unmarried women still used pads or the sanitary belts during this '50s because they afraid that a tampon will break the female hymen when virginity was valued above so many other things. Instead of tampons, women used cotton or wool pads that they could wash and reuse much like cloth diapers. In the long run they saved money over disposables but added work in the maintenance.