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I once attended a talk given by an aspiring public speaker, to a group of no more than fifteen people. She strolled in front of the room, while we were all in mid-conversation over a morning cup of tea, and began giving her speech. She didn’t say ‘Good morning’ or let us know the event was about to begin, she simply launched into it rather loudly in the hope of instantly hushing us all down with her talk.It seemed as if she was acting out a conference stage presentation, or a rehearsed TED talk, with no regard for the people who were actually in the room. To make matters worse, her subject was ‘people skills’. Partway through she told us how important it was to remember someone’s name and then started pointing at me and calling me “Dominic”. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I kept quiet. Unfortunately, another man across the room raised his hand and said, “Actually, I’m Dominic, it was me you were talking to over coffee, not him.” She gave a nervous laugh and then continued her spiel. At the end, she asked us all to sign up for her course and needless to say she gained little interest. We didn’t feel connected with her. She had spoken at us, rather than truly talking with us.I can remember falling into the same trap in my early days of speaking too. One day I could have 500 people in the audience, the next day I might only have four people for coaching. I had to work hard to adjust my voice, gestures, and energy to each event. Over the years I’ve developed an easier way of ensuring each group gains the connection they need.How is this done?Breath– I studied acting in London for three years and one of our best teachers always spoke about “breathing to the space”. What this means is going into the venue you are speaking at and noticing the size of the room. Imagine you had to breathe out so that the air would reach the walls around you. How much effort would you need? Apply this level of effort and size to your voice, gesture width and physical energy. You will naturally achieve the right volume and make gestures that engage the size of the audience.Eye contact– if you simply speak to the space your delivery can feel robotic or performed. To humanize your work it is important to have deep eye contact with people. After all, why bother being in the room with others unless they feel connected with you. No matter how many people you are speaking to aim to look into their eyes until you notice their eye color, then the intricacies of their facial expressions. This may only take a few seconds before you look at the next person, but it will be enough to avoid scanning an audience or talking over their heads. In smaller groups, this is much more critical, because the personal connection you create with them is more powerful.Ask, don’t tell– we teach a range of scripting and storytelling techniques for people to prepare what they need to say for large audience events. However, when you are with a smaller group you can turn this structure into a conversation. You still have the desired journey that you want to go on, but instead of just telling people information you take the journey together. This structure generally consists of talking about the big picture, then the details and finally some agreed actions. You can ask people in a small group what their views are on each section as you move along so that you gain a full understanding of their needs and this will determine how you move forward. This moves you from giving a speech to creating collaboration. You’ll gain a clearer understanding of the people you are with and they will feel more cared for by you.Overall, as much as you may need to prepare for important meetings, you must stay loose and ready to adapt to the people you are with to create a real and fulfilling connection.If you would you like to learn more go to Body Talk online to gain video tutorials and personal coaching.You can also connect with me on Linkedin (https://www.linkedin.com/in/richardnewmanspeaks/) to read the latest articles!

Our second picture in Canada, Sue, (daughter of an acquaintance), SamExecutive Summary:How has your life changed after immigrating to Canada?Canadian Education and Work Experience:Canadian education made me a real scientist, think like, act and solve problems like a scientist. In my working career, I never disappointed my employers. Not to brag, in the industry, I was known “ A guy with X-ray vision.”This education was not a cramming course, it was the training of the mind and discipline.I was given a real high profile industrial problem in my thesis, it covered huge range of area of Food Science. Microbiology/Chemistry/Technology/Experimental Design/Statistical Analysis/Writing/Defense.This thesis made the bases for rest of my working life, I did treat every problem on the same format what my professors taught me here in the Canadian University.I attended countless training courses in my profession, workshops, conferences and audits in several countries around the world, Canada and the USA.Trust is earned and not given:Sure it was a very long journey for a few decades, in one company I had one step less than CEO, of company accesses to technical data and very confidential information of a massive company with plants around the world.I had the physical keys to the warehouses worth multi-millions of inventory.I had the powers to stop the massive plants to prevent the lines to stop producing non confirming products with a flick of a few keys on the keyboard.Canada gave me a tremendous amount of self-respect, confidence, happy and sad memories to reflect.Canadian Ethics:Canada also showed me, corruption free work environment. There were days in my life I dealt with several government officials in my trade at work. In my working life, I did not come across even one corrupt official as yet.Canada also taught me super safety for whatever we do. Human life is number one, or for that matter, any living and nonliving things must be respected such national monuments, graffiti-free buildings.Canada also taught me punctuality, the value of time and delivery on time.Canadian Weather:Canada taught me; life does not stop from producing even if it minus 23, today or may go lower. In fact, with the windchill, it may take minus 30.Canadian housework:For most of us, there are no housemaids, gardeners and other household help; it is all our efforts.Multiculturalism:Canada taught me to respect every religion, custom, color, creed, language, food and also to work and live in peace with everyone.AndCanadian Good Habits.Canada taught me : Great civic sense : To be polite : Great sense of humor.Canadian customs/holidays/festivals.We celebrate all Canadian festivals and national holidays.A prime example is X Mas and Happy Canada day, Thanks Giving, The Easter and The New YearFollowing things are not for sale and nonnegotiableHowever, what Canada could not change, at least in two generation and maybe in the third generation.My Asian way of living at home, my faith, my scripture, my rituals.Our total devotion to parents.Our complete respect for teachers/elders/women/children.Some members are still strict vegetarians, even third generation(so far)Chain of command at home ( I wear the pants), at the end of the day I am responsible for good and not so good both endpoints, the Buck stops here.Our preferred way of Joint family system, the heirarchy start with the senior most man and woman. Literally they both rule the house, rest of us follow the their vision, wisdom, love and affection. (That system works for us, we are not going to sell it, our grandparents are reincarnation of God, that is not negotiable. )We tried to spread a good will, our beautiful dresses, our peaceful ways of living, our extremely hot, spicy food in Canada, if you notice these are our Canadian friends at a wedding.Here through series of pictures I like to walk you my entire journey.Moving to Canada is a journey of two newlywed individuals from India, in their early 20s, who left the safe home environment in the early 70s and without many resources, with a total of $508 CAD.Neither had an idea what the next moment would bring, whether they would eat that day or not. We had no cell phone, no fancy Google map, search bar…and no friends. Nothing. Zero.Also, you see in this barrel (please note, they do not have a regular boat) there are no rudders, oars, or paddles. It's an entirely unknown journey. These two individuals are searching for better lives in an unfamiliar land. The barrel is unsafe. It is on the verge of falling from the cliff. They may not even survive.Let us see now Sam and Sue’s journey together in barrel, with no map/oars/simply at the mercy of flow and wind.I graduated from a prestigious university in India (M.Sc.) with excellent grades and I was hired right from campus. Therefore, I cannot write a sob story; my birth country gave me the very best education and a beautiful job. Most of the people in my country at that time would do anything to get a job. I merely won that position on merit, with a series of good luck, hard work, an excellent boss and an excellent managing director. Within three years I was #2 at that plant. Only one position was above me and that was for general manager.Two people joined the same company on the same day: me and my classmate. It was ironic that he reported to me. He was from the same city; his dream was to have a low-key, stress-free, life. He was happy with his fate, his needs met his income. He retired at the same position. He was offered several opportunities but he did not take any of them. He was happy with his fate, and he was successful in his way of life.Here is a lesson: for some a few flowers are enough for happiness and, for some, one garden, maybe two, or three or several are not enough. Most of my cousins of my age group passed away, and most of them did not go beyond 200 km of their birth place.I had different aspirations, and my mission was different due to personal reasons (which is locked in my heart). One incident made me immune to my pain, hunger and suffering and showed me a different view of life. I found out due to this incident, at the end of the day, money is not everything; it is only one thing.I had big dreams. I did the math of my total life and I decided to get out of India come hook, crook, or come high water.I took a permanent night shift and, in the daytime, I devoted my whole life to prepare for exams, interviews, job searches, and traveling to New Delhi.I had a lot of failures, ups, downs, and heartbreak, but vowed one day I would get out.And finally one day I did.I moved to Canada with my new bride in tow. She was also very qualified.I came with a list of things to achieve.***No matter what, my wife and I will get North American educations and degrees.No matter what, we will not do backbreaking menial work for the rest of our lives.No matter what, our kids will be priority number one, we will do our best to get them the very best education.No matter what, we will help our parents back home.No matter what, we will try our best to take some load off our parents’ shoulders.We will sacrifice, work hard, no complaints, and achieve our missions whatever it takes.No matter what, I will find self-employment eventually.Fast Forward:More than 45 years with endless series of failures, minor successes, ups and downs.Sometimes two jobs and sometimes three, sometimes 7/24 and occasionally deep depression and occasionally high hopes.Fast Forward:Earned another M.Sc. degree from Canada. Worked in my own field from entry-level or below entry-level to eventually reach director level in a very prestigious company.Called it quits very early and started my own business, now 14 years and counting.Wife trained/educated for an entirely different profession, worked for over 30 years in that job, a very respectable position.Helped parents every day and in every way we could. They came here several times and, in the end, wanted to go back permanently.Raised two boys, highly educated and gainfully employed.Now we are blessed with two grandsons also.Start of the journey:Our first picture in Canada, with a $10 camera, close to 45 years ago. Long journey, I had only $8, that is what the government of India could afford to exchange at the boarding time. Reserve Bank of India had almost no foreign exchange.Long Journey of tremendous hardship, sleepless nights, struggles and failures, some happy moments here and there, but we both fought to finish. We did have some fun also in the beginning years. The middle years had struggles but we did laugh once in a while.After my wife and I landed at Toronto Airport, neither of us slept, except a wink here and there, for several days. We left our hometown to ticket issues which were in limbo in Delhi. We were not sure when we would get a ticket. We stayed with a relatives a lady and her son. They were very good.but we had guilt because we felt we were taking advantage of them,Regardless, we finally got our tickets sorted out and, ultimately, we boarded.We had total of $508 CAD. Luckily the Canadian dollar was more or less equivalent to the American dollar at that time. My in-laws had arranged through a private source $500, and I could only have $8 at departure.When we landed, one distant relative came to receive us. He was as cold as Canadian bitter cold could be.* I will wait out three weeks, where I vowed on the heads of my parents, sure resolves. and get out this hell hole *Those three weeks made me realize so many realities of life. It was a rude awakening.Our host, his wife, and four-year-old daughter, are the characters I will remember after a few reincarnations. As said earlier we were sleep deprived, totally exhausted and disoriented by the time we reached there.The first night will remain etched in my brain for ever, frame by frame.In a nutshell, we were on our own; we tried to get out of the tiny apartment before our host family got up.Sometimes we shared a cup of coffee or had our own tea bag and got hot water at McDonald’s. Sometimes say: “I am not hungry,” and sometimes share a meal. Hoping tomorrow will be better, come home very late, and make our bed on the floor of their living room. However, we were determined to get out, ASAP. The host lady's sarcastic talk, misbehavior of the little girl and BS of the host was deafening.XMas: 1987Fast Forward : X Mas 2017From left to right:Daughter-in-law and Son no. 1, MBA, Harvard (class of 2008), Son (BE, ME, MBA, (Harvard class of 2008), Dean’s Honor List, He was three years ahead in high school, his articles were published in national newspapers.He won several awards for innovations and in competitions, his pictures were published in good Canadian papers. By the time he was 19 he graduated first degree, also finished a fair load in a community college and very many certifications.They son and DIL(Daughter in law), both sit on very high chairs in corporate USA, both shake hands with the likes of industry titans, and sometimes break bread with the power brokers in the corporate USA.Grandson no one:Wife B.A.(Punjab) R.N., CDE (Canada). In total she worked over 48 years so far in her life, still going strong.The Author M.Sc. Punjab, M.Sc. Guelph, Canada, after working paid employment over 30 years now self-employed for 14 years, plus others roughly worked 50 years so far, with no sign of slowing. In fact, the author started working at very young age, in India, part time and summer time. He started his working life at about age 10 to help his father. In reality he has about 59 years of employment.Doing a second master’s was not easy, if there is a hell we (my wife and I have seen it) I will write a small/condensed version later on.Reinventing my wife moved the earth and the mountain, with two kids, job, night schools, going from arts stream to science stream, even/night/part time and then full-time classes took a major toll on her/kids/and me.Grandson no 2Son 2: B.E. LLB, Corporate lawyer. He did B.E. (EE) from a prestigious school, worked in the industry, then quit his job after seven years and did law full time. Now a full-fledged corporate lawyer for several years.In memory of loving parents who sacrificed everything in life for their children.My Mausi was very close to me, she was my second mother. Paying respect to her was vital in life. ( I sent her this blanket out of my first day’s earnings in Canada and requested her to pray for our success. And she did.)The journey continues:Now a bit of time for ourselves and reconnecting, we lost our childhood in the poverty/helplessness of India, lost our youth in the snow of Canada, middle age we devoted to our parents and kids, now to our grand kids and tiny portion to ourselves.With my Italian Canadian and Chinese friends at the border town of China and VietnamSure it was an extremely tough journey of ups and downs, failures and some successes, deep depressions and ray of hopes, reasonable adjustments in a new land, start from zero again.But…I want to thank Canada and fellow Canadians who were here before us in this land. They and their forefathers made this country world class with airports, railways, roads, post offices, schools, colleges, military, governments, law and order, science and technology, industry, and safety.May God keep this mighty maple leaf fly high forever on the horizon.(When the immigration officer in the Canadian High Commission in New Delhi, stamped my papers “Approved,” he said, “Young man, I see the tremendous amount of fire in your belly and eyes, I believe you will be an excellent addition to our country.”I did not dare to prove him wrong; his words wake me up whenever I get slow or sleepy.Also, my role models from our Arora clan, Dr. Hargobind Khorana Nobel Prize winner and General Jagjit Singh Arora, kept me going.H. Gobind Khorana - BiographicalJagjit Singh Aurora - Wikipedia

Allow me to take you back to 2015, to a press conference for the upcoming Avengers: Age of Ultron.All the stars are present and the journalists begin with their queries. After around 10 minutes, someone asks Robert Downey Jr a question.And Downey Jr, in all his infinite sardonicism, quips “I must be mellowing with age, but I want to say this very clearly. The next time I’m not asked the first question, I’ll f*cking walk out.”And with that one slyly delivered sentence, Robert Downey Jr now owns the entire room. They are at his mercy.He is a showman extraordinaire. And in the world of show business, that carries tremendous currency.That brief moment, and a sea of similar situations, demonstrates one undeniable fact - Downey Jr has a bottomless reservoir of charisma.You can't buy it, you can't make it. And you can't fake it. You either have it or you don’t. And Downey Jr has it. Boy, does he have it.And he pours all of that refined charisma into Tony Stark, and as a result, the character courses with liquid electricity.Smooth as silk, sharp as a tack, quick to quip and radiating unbridled magnetism.Downey Jr’s interpretation of Tony Stark can be loathed or loved. After all, artists are slaves to the whims of subjectivity.But it cannot be ignored or sidelined. It burns too bright and has done for too long. You can’t ignore the Sun.Even now, here at the end of Tony Stark’s sojourn in the MCU, and after all that the franchise has accomplished, Downey Jr’s decade-spanning performance remains the crown jewel of their bountiful treasure.And even if it were a crown of thorns, Downey Jr would be the solitary rose.Downey Jr is one of the last of a dying breed. He is a movie star. They are a rare species, pushed to the brink due to an ever-evolving cinematic landscape.He is also a tremendous actor. And when you put those two together, you best prepare to take in the fireworks.There is a time for everything. The 2010s were the time of Superhero cinema, and they were the time of Robert Downey Jr, the herald-in-chief of a rapidly surging genre.Marvel erected a $22 billion gold-plated house of cards on the back of his performance. And with his departure, he has left a hole that no one is equipped to plug.But a thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts. And that’s the hero gig; part of the journey is the end.What a journey it was though. What a performance it was. What a character it was. And what an actor Robert Downey Jr is.You can end his character’s journey, you can take away his contract, and you can take away all his tricks, toys and awards.But one thing you can’t take away – Robert Downey Jr IS Iron Man.